food · WordPress · Writing

Igbo Delicacies…

Although I have realized that I am not really a foodie, I do enjoy cooking for my family and my satisfaction comes mainly from the delight that they express when they eat my meals. I practically make homemade meals every day as they are not only healthier but also more cost effective when you are catering to the needs of a family.

I have an eclectic taste bud and I guess this stems from having living in various parts of the world at different points in time and also being adventurous when it comes to trying foods from other places. Nevertheless, after all tasted and tried, I still gain satisfaction from cooking and eating ‘ukwa’ or ‘okpa’. These are traditional meals which are literally considered as delicacies as the condiments/ingredients required to make them are not easily available abroad and quite costly.

Ukwa (Igbo name) is an edible traditional fruit. Its English name is African breadfruit and scientific name is Treculia africana. It belongs to the Moraceae family and it is related to other exotic fruits like breadnut, jackfruit, figs and mulberries. The fruits are hard and fibrous, full of nutritional values and exotic taste. It is not a meal that you prepare in a rush. It takes long prepping and cooking hours to get the right soft consistency that I love, but the result at the end of the day is well worth the effort and time spent.

Okpa (pronounced Ọkpa) is a delicacy prepared by the Igbo people with a special type of beans known as Bambara nuts. It is common in Enugu state (my home state) and is known as a traditional Nigerian delicacy due to its uniqueness. Its main ingredients are the Bambara nut flour, palm oil, pepper, salt and seasoning, though recipes may vary and can be eaten alone or paired with hot pap.

Normally, back home I would prepare okpa wrapped in banana/plantain leaves, but given the fact that finding such leaves is literally impossible to get the leaves here, when I am able to lay my hands on the bambara flour, I make do with foil wrapping.

Blogging · WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

The gifts received…

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Can one’s children be considered as memorable gifts from God as I always feel so delighted to have mine in my life – except when they are driving me up the wall 😉 I recall the birth of each one with clarity and I also remember the fullness of heart each time I received each bundle of joy.

As most parents, I cherish my kiddos to bits and as I watch them grow and mature into independent young adults, I feel an enormous sense of pride and gratitude. They are my world and my life will not be the same without them. I can’t even begin to picture life without them.

Now in reflection, I realize how we tend to take the beautiful gifts that we have received for granted most especially when they have become part and parcel of our lives. How much we value them often gets lost in the doldrums of running after the daily needs of life. This serves as a reminder to ALWAYS stay grateful and mindful.

Another gift that comes so readily to mind is my engagement ring and the spectacular way that it was presented to me by my husband in front of family and friends. I knew that he wanted to propose based on all the indications from him and thought he would do so privately as my husband is reserved by nature and not as gregarious as I. It was quite a surprise when he proposed in front of a gathering of family and friends and their words of prayers, approval and encouragement made it all the more momentous.

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Poetry/Poems · WordPress · Writing

Raindrops…

She stood in the elements…

tears mingled with raindrops…

a mix of nature and emotions…

soaked her chiffon kaftan.

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Rain evoked numerous feelings…

It reminded her of how they met…

of days cuddled under the blanket…

sharing stories and breathing each others air.

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It reminded her of home…

of cups of warm broth…

and woolly socks for her feet…

as she listened to his heartbeat.

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It reminded her of the things lost…

of his last words ‘I will be back soon’…

but never to be fulfilled…

he died on a rainy day.

Jacqueline 2023

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WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

Etch it in ink…

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I write because I do not know how not to. As far back as I can recall, I owned diaries and in them I would scribble my deepest thoughts. It was primarily a way of finding release, venting and setting free those expressions that ran around in my head. It slowly became a way to have my voice heard. It gave my thoughts a medium and ever since I started blogging and writing on other social media platforms I never stopped. Writing is my super power. It energizes, rejuvenates, helps me to refine my thoughts, gives me a sense of visibility and permanence.

The feeling and pleasure that I derive from writing is indescribable. To say the least, it is cathartic. I have been through extreme crisis situations that voicing my thoughts through writing has been a healing process. It helps bring more clarity to my thoughts, ideas and perceptions and I hope that it also gives the reader a better understanding of the messages that I share. One day, I hope to own an old traditional typewriter and will type beautiful letters and send to the people I love.

For me, writing is life and asides for all the other obvious reasons why writing is important, I believe that writing has been my sense of relief, a healing tool, a friend, a passion and purpose.

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Wellness · WordPress · Writing · writing challenge

The simple things…

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Joy. A simple word, yet it carries a whole lot of weight in it for far too many people are constantly in search of joy and many fail to find it as often as they should. I think the fault lies in having great expectations and waiting for things that are exceptionally good before they can have some iota of pleasure.

Connecting with my spiritual side and aiming to grow more spiritually aware, diligently practicing gratitude, choosing to have an optimistic and positive mindset, staying as fully present and living in the moment are conscious steps that I take daily and these have helped me to continually create more positive emotions for myself.

For me, the simple every day things of life bring joy to me and helps enhance my sense of wellbeing. When the work day is over, the thought of going home to my place of comfort consistently brings me pleasure. It’s not that I don’t like going to work, but knowing that I get to return home to my place of refuge where I can choose to lounge in my pajama’s, relax, exhale, be with my family etc. makes those hours spent pursuing the daily bread worth the effort.

My children are a constant source of joy for me. Listening to them share their dreams and work towards them, watching them grow into independent young adults and experiencing their wins in life brings me an immense source of wellbeing and accomplishment.

At the start of each day, I make my to-do list and set little goals that ultimately contribute to achieving my bigger goals definitely makes one feel good. There are many days that I am unable to do all the things that I set out to do, but I have also learnt not to guilt trip myself, to be thankful for the things that I was able to do and not to dwell inordinately on the things that I failed to do.

As adults, we get bogged down with so much in form of rules, responsibilities and life that we often forget how to feel that unadulterated sense of bliss. I truly believe that living mindfully helps us to create, recreate and really experience that sense of happiness and bliss that we deserve.

I wish you joy.

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@beyondexisting.j

How to manage stressful mornings #fyp #deepthoughts #advice #decisionmaking #selfcontrol #emotionalintelligence #stress #Howto Our daily lives can start off on a stressful not and may even take unexpected turns that will make or mar an ordinarily simple day. In such situations, what matters most is not about what is happening to us, but how we respond to our experiences. How we exert self control knowing that wrong decisions taken under duress can be defining.

♬ Дикая львица – ALEX&RUS

Blogging · Family · Personal · WordPress · Writing

Their absence leaves us bereft…

As treasure connotes something truly special, my lost treasures are intangible and irreplaceable. Three people come so easily to mind: my dad, my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law.

Death can be so final even when it comes slowly like the way my dad and my mother-in-law lost their battle with Cancer after a valiant battle. It was a heart wrenching and intensely difficult time for our family and what amazes me till today is how graceful these two humans were in the face of such debilitating illness. I loved and still love my dad to bits and his passing hit me really hard. Just writing this makes my heart flood with sadness. I have grown to bear the pain of his loss and to ruminate in the beautiful memories that he left behind and appreciate him over and over again. I think one of my regrets is not telling him often how much I loved him and that my kids did not have enough opportunity to really get to know him. He was a gentleman and a good man. I believe that I was in a state of denial and had kept hoping that God’s mercy would prevail and that he would win the battle with cancer. Till his last moments I stayed hopeful, but death robbed me.

My mother-in-law and I grew close especially considering how much my husband adored her. She was not just the matriarch of the family, but became my ally as well. Her name was Grace and indeed she was such a graceful and beautiful soul. Although her passing wasn’t sudden as she fought breast cancer for several years but her last day with us is forever etched on my mind as I was there in her last moments when she transitioned.

You truly never understand the enormity of what you have until you have lost it, more especially when the loss is sudden. My brother-in-law’s passing was like a bolt of lightening. It was a rude shock. He drowned. Till this moment, the circumstances surrounding his demise in Toronto is still unclear to us. He was quite a gregarious young man and his absence is felt.

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would love to have my family members back and relive all the beautiful moments with them. These people were gems and to know them was simply to love them.

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Blogging · WordPress · Writing

I am brave or am I?

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When we think of the word ‘brave’ our minds automatically switch to the endurance of pain, performing daunting tasks and facing danger without fear. Our minds go to the images of brave soldiers at the war front, selfless, daring, heroic and protecting us from intrusion at the risk of their own lives. I am not that soldier, yet, I daresay that I am brave. Yes! I am.

Not to thump my fists on my chest, belting out a war cry, I can puff up with a little sense of pride that I do stand up to daunting and unpleasant situations – often with trembling knees and trepidation. Most times, in all the places that I have worked over the years, I have been that voice that speaks out for those who don’t know how to or feel too intimidated to speak up.

On a regular basis, I am not afraid to question the status quo when my perception of rightness prompts me to do so even if it means that my voice is the only dissenting voice in a crowd of many. What that has achieved over time is not only to draw the attention of those in positions of authority to review any ‘questionable circumstance’ but has served as a catalyst for positive change and gradual inculcation of healthier work cultures.

As much as I like being comfortable, I have also grown to understand that the space of comfort stifles personal growth and as such, I endeavour to try new things – albeit sensibly – and to push my boundaries in many ways. Taking such steps brings a new sense of power and exhilaration and also takes some level of bravery as most of us are creatures of habit who find changes unsettling. Those things that we fear can keep us bound in invisible chains and as is commonly said, ‘you don’t have to be fearless, doing it afraid is just as brave.’

Personally, putting myself out there on social media through videos, baring my thoughts in writing for others to read sometimes feels as if I am exposing the inner parts of my soul to friends and strangers alike, because we live in a world where people are far more at ease to criticize and judge than to empathize and to keep an open mind. ‘

However, the sense of freedom that comes from doing so daily propels me to keep showing up, to keep being brave in my little world and I am not about to stop anytime soon.

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Blogging · Networking · WordPress · Writing

This year I want to achieve…

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Happy New Year to you and your dear ones! So, I joined bloganuary and the first prompt is what-is-something-you-want-to-achieve-this-year, which I think is appropriate given the fact that most of us tend to think of new goals to accomplish and new resolutions for the year.

The general idea for me is to use this opportunity to connect with a wider blogging community and friends as well as kindle my writing zeal which went into some sort of hibernation most part of 2022. My expectations this year is to continue to grow stronger spiritually, practice mindfulness and staying in the present, staying happy and centered, actively tapping into the law of attraction and living it, achieving my writing goals, sustaining the healthier lifestyle that I have been aiming for, increasing my social media presence, growing multiple streams of income, venturing into new things and becoming more financially independent. Each of this aspect is broken down to short term, medium term and long-term goals and I sincerely hope to stay focused and diligent.

The truth is that we can wish all we want for our dreams to become actualized but without matching our wishes with actions and of course faith, it simply remains wishful thinking and thus unattainable.

I will surely share my journey here as a way of holding myself accountable and hopefully inspiring others. I believe that you and I will be seeing more of each other in this space in the coming days and I do wish you the best of 2023.

Stay healthy. Stay happy.

Lots of love from Jacqueline

You can find me on Tiktok below.

@beyondexisting.j

Declarative prayer #fyp #foryoupage #christiantiktok #Prayer #jesus #Godsplan #nigeriantiktok #faith Declarative prayer speaks out loud the truth found in God’s word and in God’s being. We boldly pray and then walk in faith.

♬ Omemma – (Live) – Judikay
Blogging · life skills · Self Help · Writing

Awakening My Creative Consciousness…

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Finally. I believe that I have succeeded in crawling out of the doldrums. There are days that run into weeks and then months when creativity flows freely through your fingers and mind and feels like the easiest thing ever, then there are those days… that seep into weeks… and then months… when you are lost and in a total stump.

When this happens, we deeply feel that something is amiss. Things generally seem harder and somehow the rudder of our direction stagnates or at worse will be over the place. How do we re-center ourselves? How do we reignite our passion to continue doing those things that we most enjoy? How do we declutter, distill the disturbance, and climb out of the miry bog?

Most certainly, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to such a dilemma. However, we can prime the pump and flow of inspiration in our lives by taking some simple steps and these steps are what I am trying to retrace. Not so much to find out where I fell off the track but to attempt to get back on track and fall in love again with those things that bring me joy.

I can’t even explain to you how the past few days of getting back to blogging, making my short videos on Tiktok, YouTube and Instagram makes me feel. I feel better. I feel less pained and guilty. I feel a deep sense of satisfaction and I intend to keep it that way; so help me God.

Here are a few practical steps to apply should you ever find yourself in such a rut.

  • Be grateful for where you are at the moment and thankful for the potentials that the future holds.
  • Seek and find joy in the little things happening around you. Find laughter. It matters a lot.
  • Declutter your mind. Ask yourself what you are really feeling and try to understand why.
  • Define and refine what creativity and inspiration means to you.
  • Remind yourself of those things that you really love.
  • Revamp your thought process and approach where possible.
  • Don’t make big plans, take baby steps one day at a time.
  • Take time to reflect and let your imagination flow. It may be jumbled and rusty but just go with the flow.
  • Be humble and keep learning.
  • Make your creative moments fun.

What self-help tips and suggestions do you use and recommend to others to try?

Creative Writing · Poetry/Poems · Writing

….the Prince is Dead!

her fairytales of life
no more Princes are there to be had,
and the knights in shining armour
perished with Arthur.

rather,

there’s just her,
an ordinary woman
riding her own steed
and slaying her own dragons.

long live the dragon slayer!