Blogging · Family · Personal · WordPress · Writing

Their absence leaves us bereft…

As treasure connotes something truly special, my lost treasures are intangible and irreplaceable. Three people come so easily to mind: my dad, my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law.

Death can be so final even when it comes slowly like the way my dad and my mother-in-law lost their battle with Cancer after a valiant battle. It was a heart wrenching and intensely difficult time for our family and what amazes me till today is how graceful these two humans were in the face of such debilitating illness. I loved and still love my dad to bits and his passing hit me really hard. Just writing this makes my heart flood with sadness. I have grown to bear the pain of his loss and to ruminate in the beautiful memories that he left behind and appreciate him over and over again. I think one of my regrets is not telling him often how much I loved him and that my kids did not have enough opportunity to really get to know him. He was a gentleman and a good man. I believe that I was in a state of denial and had kept hoping that God’s mercy would prevail and that he would win the battle with cancer. Till his last moments I stayed hopeful, but death robbed me.

My mother-in-law and I grew close especially considering how much my husband adored her. She was not just the matriarch of the family, but became my ally as well. Her name was Grace and indeed she was such a graceful and beautiful soul. Although her passing wasn’t sudden as she fought breast cancer for several years but her last day with us is forever etched on my mind as I was there in her last moments when she transitioned.

You truly never understand the enormity of what you have until you have lost it, more especially when the loss is sudden. My brother-in-law’s passing was like a bolt of lightening. It was a rude shock. He drowned. Till this moment, the circumstances surrounding his demise in Toronto is still unclear to us. He was quite a gregarious young man and his absence is felt.

If I could turn back the hands of time, I would love to have my family members back and relive all the beautiful moments with them. These people were gems and to know them was simply to love them.

You can also find me on Tiktok

Blogging · WordPress · writing challenge

Toddling down memory lane…

Photo by Nathan J Hilton on Pexels.com

Well, today’s prompt took me a few minutes or so to give my memory a jig and I must say that as I meandered through lanes of memories of yester-years, searching the nooks and crannies to see if I can pinpoint my earliest memory tucked away neatly in the recesses of my mind, waiting to be discovered as it jumps out at me and says ‘hello there, here I am and good to see you,’ I find fuzzy memories melding into each other and I am not quite sure again what happened when and which one came before the other.

Images of my childhood home, of close family members old, gone and alive; of lovely frocks, of sunny days and smells of the soursop, mango and cashew fruits, of the various sounds of music playing on my dad’s Grundig turntable, of the cries of younger siblings, the laughter and soft scolding of my mother, the pounding of the mortar and pestle – preparing native foofoo – the cosy smell of my grandmother and her shea butter, the drizzle of the rain and images of running out in the rain with neighbourhood friends as our mothers yelled at us to come out of the rain all flip through my mind like a TV series. Dainty echoes of yester-years wrap itself like gossamer across my mind and like the spiders cobweb, they all interconnect.

I do have some recollection of early days of kindergarten and some of the nursery rhymes learnt have stuck with me all these decades. One particular memory of having being left perched on a fence where I sat and cried so badly sticks out like a sore thumb. The boy, who happened to be so much older and bigger refused to put me down and I was unable to come down by myself. I think I refused to go back to the nursery after that incident and my mother was rightly concerned. I can’t remember how she resolved the issue and I don’t know why I have held onto this memory and why it didn’t get lost in the annals of my life.

I wish I could say that I have extra – ordinary – recollection and clarity of my toddler years in sequence, but I daresay that I truly don’t recall as much as I would have loved. Maybe, if I had an encounter with a hypnotist, who knows what one will discover under the intense state of concentration. I am not so sure that I really care to know as I doubt if delving so deeply into the past at this point in time in my life is truly worth the price. After all, the past is simply a memory trace of time lived and as whimsical or as eager as we may feel, we can’t go back there as we are living in this present moment.

I do understand that the exercise of reliving one’s memory can be essential as they not only teach us important life lessons that we can apply in our present and possibly the future, they also give us a sense of continuity, identity and purpose. Indeed, our memories shape us and make us who we are.

Keep making beautiful memories.

Do visit me on Tiktok

Blogging · WordPress · Writing

I am brave or am I?

Photo by Kony Xyzx on Pexels.com

When we think of the word ‘brave’ our minds automatically switch to the endurance of pain, performing daunting tasks and facing danger without fear. Our minds go to the images of brave soldiers at the war front, selfless, daring, heroic and protecting us from intrusion at the risk of their own lives. I am not that soldier, yet, I daresay that I am brave. Yes! I am.

Not to thump my fists on my chest, belting out a war cry, I can puff up with a little sense of pride that I do stand up to daunting and unpleasant situations – often with trembling knees and trepidation. Most times, in all the places that I have worked over the years, I have been that voice that speaks out for those who don’t know how to or feel too intimidated to speak up.

On a regular basis, I am not afraid to question the status quo when my perception of rightness prompts me to do so even if it means that my voice is the only dissenting voice in a crowd of many. What that has achieved over time is not only to draw the attention of those in positions of authority to review any ‘questionable circumstance’ but has served as a catalyst for positive change and gradual inculcation of healthier work cultures.

As much as I like being comfortable, I have also grown to understand that the space of comfort stifles personal growth and as such, I endeavour to try new things – albeit sensibly – and to push my boundaries in many ways. Taking such steps brings a new sense of power and exhilaration and also takes some level of bravery as most of us are creatures of habit who find changes unsettling. Those things that we fear can keep us bound in invisible chains and as is commonly said, ‘you don’t have to be fearless, doing it afraid is just as brave.’

Personally, putting myself out there on social media through videos, baring my thoughts in writing for others to read sometimes feels as if I am exposing the inner parts of my soul to friends and strangers alike, because we live in a world where people are far more at ease to criticize and judge than to empathize and to keep an open mind. ‘

However, the sense of freedom that comes from doing so daily propels me to keep showing up, to keep being brave in my little world and I am not about to stop anytime soon.

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Blogging · Networking · WordPress · Writing

This year I want to achieve…

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

Happy New Year to you and your dear ones! So, I joined bloganuary and the first prompt is what-is-something-you-want-to-achieve-this-year, which I think is appropriate given the fact that most of us tend to think of new goals to accomplish and new resolutions for the year.

The general idea for me is to use this opportunity to connect with a wider blogging community and friends as well as kindle my writing zeal which went into some sort of hibernation most part of 2022. My expectations this year is to continue to grow stronger spiritually, practice mindfulness and staying in the present, staying happy and centered, actively tapping into the law of attraction and living it, achieving my writing goals, sustaining the healthier lifestyle that I have been aiming for, increasing my social media presence, growing multiple streams of income, venturing into new things and becoming more financially independent. Each of this aspect is broken down to short term, medium term and long-term goals and I sincerely hope to stay focused and diligent.

The truth is that we can wish all we want for our dreams to become actualized but without matching our wishes with actions and of course faith, it simply remains wishful thinking and thus unattainable.

I will surely share my journey here as a way of holding myself accountable and hopefully inspiring others. I believe that you and I will be seeing more of each other in this space in the coming days and I do wish you the best of 2023.

Stay healthy. Stay happy.

Lots of love from Jacqueline

You can find me on Tiktok below.

@beyondexisting.j

Declarative prayer #fyp #foryoupage #christiantiktok #Prayer #jesus #Godsplan #nigeriantiktok #faith Declarative prayer speaks out loud the truth found in God’s word and in God’s being. We boldly pray and then walk in faith.

♬ Omemma – (Live) – Judikay
WordPress

GREAT OFFERS AND OPPORTUNITY

Special Offers, WPEngine, WordPress offers, Self-Hosting Plans

WP Engine and WordPress have May birthdays, and to celebrate they’ve created special offers for you to self-host.

In their seven-year history, they’ve never run a promotion like this for Premium and Enterprise plans.WP Engine Fastest Managed WordPress Platform

It’s an opportunity to test the waters of self-hosting your site. Quit the procrastination.

Here are several reasons why I chose WPEngine and why I still fly with WPEngine.

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WordPress

NOW IS THE TIME TO MAKE THAT MOVE

WordPress Hosting, WP Engine, Fast, Security, Service, Reliable, Affiliate Marketing

WP Engine Hosting

Are considering hosting a new site or upgrading from a free site to a self-hosted platform?

This is the time to make that move!

There’s an exciting offer that gives you the opportunity to launch a new site or to migrate your old site to a solid platform.

How would you like to have 5 months free + 2 extra months on your hosting? I love freebies 😉

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WordPress

IT’S TIME TO LEAVE THAT FREE SITE – THIS IS WHY

Free Site, WordPress Hosting, WP Engine, Domain Names, Namecheap, Free Site Companies, Website setup, Recommendations

Free Is Not Free After All

The year is winding down fast and it’s been some good months since you took up that tempting free offer to start your blog/website. Naturally, you are totally loving the idea of having a space that finally allows you to say your piece. A medium to have your voice heard and you are busy plugging away for hours on end.

Congratulations. That’s certainly a step in the right direction, but I must burst a little part of your bubble with some hard truth about ‘free sites,’ that’s the wrong direction.

There’s a CATCH to this free bait and if possible, you must AVOID it at all costs.

Many beginner bloggers/writers start their site with the thought of keeping their costs down to spending nothing at all, therefore they plunge into the choppy waters of the internet with glee and a feeling of smartness until reality slaps them in the face real hard. Read More

The Daily Post · WordPress

Mutiny…

PicsArt_05-03-05.48.51[1]

Let’s abandon ship said the angry crew

for he’s a stingy, shrewd master

who’s so cranky like a shrew

and fails to pay our dues.

There was a mutiny

that happened in disunity

which doesn’t bear close scrutiny

and the ship was abandoned in impunity.

__

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Abandoned, The Daily Post Prompt

Scary · WordPress

BE CAREFUL! PLEASE, NEVER, NEVER, TOUCH THESE!!!

PicsArt_05-03-08.17.53[1]

I had a recent struggle with malicious attack on my blog that some of you know of and hopefully, when my load is just a little less in the next week or so, I will share the few steps that I followed and the mind-numbing number of emails between myself, google and WordPress before the situation was resolved.

However, I just received a so called email message above from Gmail and my sixth sense simply told me to verify the source, so my verification from WordPress engineers -see discussion thread below – confirms that it’s a phishing mail to harvest your details :/

acquelineobyikocha Hello good morning, this is an emergency please
Mahangu Hi there! What can I help you with?
Mahangu 🙂
jacquelineobyikocha Hello Mahangu
jacquelineobyikocha I just got a funny email alert telling me this
jacquelineobyikocha Hello, We noticed the last document you downloaded, contains a Trojan Virus please follow the link https://formcrafts.com/a/19603 to enable us delete it from your E-MAIL Now. For your safety, We also recommend you format your computer/ Device to further remove any Threat of the virus. Kindest Regards, Gmail! Security Services team
Mahangu Right. You didn’t click that link, did you?
jacquelineobyikocha I believe I did and it wanted me to enter my details and I didn’t
Mahangu Good thinking! That is a “phishing” email, and you can safely ignore it.
Mahangu Gmail, or WordPress.com, or any trustworthy source will never send you a form to enter your account info.
Mahangu They already have it, right? 🙂
jacquelineobyikocha Wow! Can you beat that!
jacquelineobyikocha Good to know. Thank you very much. I will educate some of my readers.
Mahangu Great! 🙂
Mahangu If you think you may have even half entered your account details there though, I would change your real account password.
Mahangu Just to be safe.
jacquelineobyikocha Thank you Mahangu. I just wanted to verify. Do have a good day/afternoon/night etc today
jacquelineobyikocha No I didn’t enter anything but I’ll still go ahead and change my password.

Be very mindful. Secure your passwords, make sure your anti-virus is up-to-date. They are really some malicious people out there.

Be bloggy safe.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Blog · WordPress

DE-BUGGED!!

Google[1]

Like some of you know, it has been a hectic couple of days with my blog placed on quarantine *security alert*.

However, with concerted efforts on my side, your support, the very supportive assistance of WordPress Engineers and Google’s cooperation, my blog has been cleared of the malicious whatamacallit.

What I don’t have is a concrete explanation for what went wrong.

I however, came away with several useful knowledge. Hopefully, over the weekend, I can sit down and put together a quick post as a reference point that someone in such pickle can refer to, assuming the cases are related.

So, to my blog’s bill of health, I say let’s blog on with integrity.

According to my home people, we would say, no dulling my swag 😉

Thanks to everyone.