Revving my engine…

September 4, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha9 Comments

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Forward Drive.”

What is the one thing that drives you to wake up in the morning and do whatever it is you do? Is it writing, family, friends, or something else entirely?

Do I have a choice in this matter, as the case may be? Even on mornings when my inner motivational battery is low and I feel like camping some more on top of my cosy bed, human needs wade into my cocooned brain.

From waking the kids to make sure they get ready for school, to a hurried breakfast and a to-do list as long as my arm, my inner engine revs to go.

I am a morning person and I love to wade into all the task while my tank is still full.

Over the years, a force of habit of making a to do list the previous night before sleeping has helped in taming a day that could otherwise spiral into a runaway event, which would in turn leave me dissatisfied, when I review how much in road I made with the items that had to be attended to.

Naturally, the contents of my list vary each day based on the exigencies of that day and it can always be found by my bedside table along with a jotter (just in case I wake up in the middle of the night with a thought on my mind) and whatever literal work that has caught my fancy at that moment.

Jacqueline

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11 Types of People to Avoid Like the Plague

August 27, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha3 Comments

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Meet n Greet

August 1, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha7 Comments

A little fun time for all of us. Let’s meet and greet each other and get the communication gaps closed up a bit, shall we. You are welcome 🙂
Taking up the thread from the original post of http://dreambigdreamoften.co/2015/08/01/do-you-want-to-grow-your-readership/

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Should Woulda Coulda

July 25, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha4 Comments

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Shoulda Woulda Coulda.”

It’s a no brainer right?
Pretty easy to say;
I shoulda;
I woulda;
I coulda;
Gotten more exercise;
And left the tin of biscuits alone;
Now I have;
400 and something calories;
Stuck on my hip line 😦

Creative Writing · Uncategorized

A shout out to my neighbours. Day 3 – Blogging 101

July 8, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha6 Comments

My dear blogging neighbor,

To say that it is my pleasure to connect with a good number of you – the old hands and the newcomers might sound a bit blasé, but the truth still remains what it is; I am very pleased for having discovered such a well spring of dynamic and intriguing personalities in blogland.

Whilst foraging, I encountered a plethora of blogs: the extroverts, the introverts, the cheeky, the nerdy, the needy, the wise, the funny, the eye candies (food, fashion and photo blogs) the chatty story tellers (like myself), the inspirational ones, the humorous, the controversial, the motherly, the health, travel and everything else in between.

Some of you, I shamelessly courted their hands in friendship and they reciprocated, whilst some are still contemplating my offer 🙂

You all bring to the table, your experience, your exposure, irrespective of how small or large and your expertise especially amongst the old hands.

I graciously salute you all for your magnanimity in welcoming a newbie like me in the house and hope we can all find time to keep each other company in the blog-sphere at least.

Okay, now this is beginning to sound like a valedictory speech, so lets just jump on the wagon and enjoy the expedition and simply end the torture shall we?

Greetings and regards,

Jacqueline

Creative Writing · Uncategorized

What inspired my Title and ever changing Tag line? Blogging 101

July 7, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha9 Comments

Here goes. For me, there is nothing like jumping in two feet into the moment than getting tardy and feeling like I have an albatross around my neck several days later. Therefore in answer to the question why I chose the title acookingpotandtwistedtales:

For a long while, I had been satisfied spinning my yard tales for my children and family alike (even my husband likes to listen in), as well as sharing them on Facebook with friends, but I never got round to blogging. I was far too busy with other things (I kept telling myself) and writing the stories in my journal, waiting for the right time, but the right time was a list of never ending tomorrows.

On New’s years eve, after outlining my long list of resolutions, I chose to fly out the window and test my wings, but I had no name with which to express my thoughts and tell my stories, the short and long of it all.

After several attempts which did not quite settle with me, since I was in search of something that spoke specifically to me, my Ah ha moment came, whilst preparing a meal for my children and spinning a long tale by moonlight for them. I think a little fairy dropped some gold dust on my ears and whispered: acookingpotandtwistedtales and it simply clicked. For me, my title represents a medley of ideas tossed together to create a patchwork of interesting stuff.

I spend a good portion of my time cooking for my family, and funny enough, I had dabbled into catering business at some point in time in my interesting Topsy-curvy life, so it felt it was quite apt and I think I am going to keep it even though my Title and URL are the same name. Well, who knows, only time will tell what changes would be made.

My tag line had pretty much stayed the same until I joined the blogging university and fire was put under my butt to think out of the box 😉 so in the space of twenty four hours it has changed several times and might even change some more. From “Let’s spin a tale” to “Think. Spin tales: True, False and the Downright absurd”. I am trying to capture the essence of what I want to convey through my blog, which are basically centered around short fictions, my inspirational thoughts, social criticism and rants (when the fancy catches me).

Since it’s not a revolution but an evolution, I will keep tweaking that tag line until I am a hundred percent satisfied.

So, what do you think?

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Introducing myself: Blogging 101

July 6, 2015July 8, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha7 Comments

Let’s hope I don’t bore you to death with my ramblings on this assignment of “who I am and why I am here” in the blogosphere.

Jacqueline, the face behind acookingpotandtwistedtales, is a passionate Nigerian woman.

I am a wordsmith (on the cusp of authorship, in my mind at least). I am an entrepreneur, an advocate of truth and moral values, a people’s person, a motivator and a bi-linguist; French/English (also attempting to pick as many languages as I can, even just in their smattering forms).

I am the spouse of an interesting and intelligent gentleman who makes each day in my life spontaneous and devoid of boredom.

I am a mother of children who keep all my faculties engaged (physical and non-physical).

So this is me, an avid reader (not mind reader, unfortunately), an everyday woman with a passion for life and family.

I love to sing in my wobbly voice (who cares), to dance and strut my stuff and to laugh heartily. I love fitness and good nutrition when I can encourage my other lazy self to lace on her training shoes and not to eat all the cake.

I am still a child of Evolution.

I started blogging when I got tired of keeping my thoughts penciled in my journals (I still pencil though). It serves as a voice to some internal thoughts and turmoils. I think in clarity, I recuperate and I exhale when I write. It is therapeutic for me.

I see a story in everything, humorous, serious, life matters, beauty, child rearing or anything that inspires me that we might have in common as humans.

So here I am, exhaling after a long time of staying under water.

If I blog successfully throughout the next year, I would have cultivated the discipline of settling down to write and ramble. I would (hopefully) have finished the drafts of the three novels that I am working on.

Indeed it would be good to arrive at those goals, but I believe that the trip through blogging would be a whole lot of fun.

I look forward to meeting and interacting with other members of this community.

Yours in sincerity,

Jacqueline.

Inspiration - Motivation · Social critic · Uncategorized

Pornography… 10 reasons why you should stop the views.

July 2, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha19 Comments

Simple defined: “pornography is the depiction of sexual behavior that is intended to arouse sexual excitement in its audience” – The legal dictionary.

What set me down this path of thinking you might care to ask? Well, let me tell you a little bit why. I sat in the library several days ago, trying to wrap my mind around a book that I am putting together. I had escaped the confines of my home, trading it for a little slice of time at the public library so that I could escape having my children come barging in now and again, to ask for this or that and derailing my train of thought.

Okay. So I settle down with my paraphernalia of notes and different colored pens and laptop and lunch and all, trying to dig deep in my memory bank to fish out those words that I search for. Not far gone in my quest, the infernal chit-chat behind my back commences. I ignored it a little bit, but the consistent drip, drip of voices in the library behind my back, drew my curious mind to identify the culprits. I squelched every inclination to give them a good scold on etiquette.

Three young heads are planted close to each other, gasping and awing over the contents of a smart phone. My curiosity was piqued to no ends – I am a people watcher (if any hobby can have that title) so, I rose from my chair and I craned my neck. Voila! They were actively engaged in a watching a torrid sexual session of group sex on their Iphone, in the public library. If I could blush, I am sure my face would have taken the color of beetroot.

The best thing to do: I politely took my things and moved myself, a little reluctantly to another position (that seat, which I had appropriated gave me a vantage point to observe everything going on in that vicinity and I still struggled to let go of the desire to give that scold 🙂

Now my train of thought had digressed from creating the perfect murder scene, to wondering about the scene that I just witnessed and thinking of a storyline in that aspect.

I doubt if Porn makes a polite dinner conversation? It is hard to picture one’s dad slicing through that steak, your ma picking her peas and your maiden aunt Virginia sipping on her Earl Grey tea whilst you engage in recounting lurid details of a BDSM scene, they would probably choke to death.

Yet, this topic that does not make a rousing discourse at the dinner table, is a thriving billion dollar industry which keeps growing and is virtually available at the slightest click of the fingers. What a waste of good funds!

I may not be an expert in analyzing sexual matters, but at my age, I do know a thing or two I can assure you.

I think that irrespective of religious inclinations or belief, pornography affects its viewers negatively for so many reasons. I don’t want to sound like a righteous and sanctimonious preacher, so, I will keep it simple, enunciate just a few reasons and encourage you to reason with me.

1. It rewires the brain and it’s short term gratification can lead to long term negative effects through the Coolidge effect of automatic response to continuous craving for more and more new excitement. The trappings of cyber-sex gives an opportunity to view millions of boobs and all which can span several life times in a few minutes and after years of consumption, the same material ceases to excite the viewer, thus the compulsion to delve deeper and explore newer grounds.

2. It then becomes an addiction. The repetition of this specific behavior leads to the release of the feel good hormone Dopamine, thus the continuous craving for repeats which is akin to what addicts of other substances experience.

3. It can actively damage or erode family relationships due to the unrealistic expectations from your relationships and in some cases, real women/men cease to arouse your interest as much as those that you see on the internet.

4. It causes decrease in sexual libido (testosterone) and erectile dysfunction, which will inevitably lead to depression, low energy level and lack of satisfaction.

5. Its leads to the development of thoughts and fetishes that would not have been encountered without porn.

6. This act reaches in and destroys the hearts, minds and bodies of its participants.

7. Waste of so much valuable time and funds surfing the net for an activity that eventually leaves the viewer depleted and possibly indebted through purchases made online for viewing rights to these sites.

8. It could even lead to loss of livelihood and reputation.

9. It promotes destructive practices and sexual perversions out there such as child porn, bestiality, necrophilia, rape and sadism and this in turn leads to increase of sexual crimes, human trafficking etc.

10. By viewing, the viewer supports this industry and facilitates its growth. The viewer also wittingly and unwittingly contributes to the sexual exploitation of whoever or whatever object he/she views.

We can no longer shy away from the realities of today by hiding our heads in the sand like Ostriches and hoping these things will go away.

We owe it to our young ones to educate them of the dangers that lurks in such habitual practice and hope that eventually, they will make the right choices.

Indeed, it is a danger in itself to allow them to flounder in their need to acquire information.

That’s it folks. I have said my piece and if I must say so, my digression from my initial assignment for my book, gave me quite an education. Maybe, as time goes on, we can explore ways that this habit can be broken.

Feel free to re-blog and share, you might be saving a soul 😉

Creative Writing · Hope · Love · Uncategorized

Slaying the giant…

June 26, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha2 Comments

Each day that dawned, was met with a fervent prayer, I was hoping for some miracle of healing and grace to occur but it seemed as if I was fighting a losing battle with a faceless giant that equally had a very big name.

I was still breast feeding my infant when I found the little bump. I mentioned it in passing to a friend over lunch and she suggested that I should see a doctor. She tried to reassure me that it was probably nothing to panic over, that I should try and do the needful to get it over and done with. I let it slide for a bit. Partially because I was in denial and maybe, I thought that the more I failed to acknowledge its presence, it would probably go away through wishful thinking after all, I was just 32 years old.

What I had also failed to tell her was that I did not have the funds to run the necessary tests. My pride stood in my way.
The fact of the matter is that the society where I came from was a society where medical intervention came at an enormous cost to its citizenry and money was not readily available. There was no available medical insurance for the commonest man and we depended heavily on local chemists for almost every ailment known to man. It was cheaper.

Yet that nagging fear could not be suppressed and I eventually summoned the courage to talk to a midwife during a routine clinical immunization for my child.
She palpated my breasts and in her exact words, told me that my breasts were turgid, possibly because I was still breastfeeding and the milk ducts were always filling up. She said that she couldn’t really feel anything and I left with a little sense of relief and hope in my heart.

Months went by and the bump became a sizable lump. I could no longer deny to myself that something was wrong. Scurrying around for much needed funds, I raised the prohibitive amount and traveled to the city to run the required mammography, biopsies, blood work and so forth. The results came back packing a punch. I had ductal carcinoma in situ – simply put, I had breast cancer.

I was numb from shock, even though a part of me was braced for any bad news, I still felt as if a wrecking ball had just hit me. I hesitated to share my news with anyone for a while. In the privacy of my closet, I simply railed at God in madness and sadness, oscillating between deep depression and the need to fight and stay alive. The pressure of it all sat heavily on my shoulders and each day was filled with indescribable heart ache.

To fight, I had to share my sad news with family and friends alike. They rallied around me, praying for me, raising money for surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. Due to the spread to both breasts, I had a double mastectomy followed by a battery of chemotherapy and radiation. Needless to say, I lost my hair along with my breasts, lost tremendous amount of weight and felt sick most of the time.

All seemed clear for a brief interlude of three years. My life had changed irrevocably and my days were perpetually dotted with Tamoxifen and a whole cocktail of other drugs. I could have lived with that, if that is what it would have taken, but just a few weeks after my thirty-fifth birthday, I started coughing continuously and suffered from shortness of breath.

With my previous experience, I did not waste time to consult a doctor. My lungs were now affected, the cancer had metastasized.
“How long”? I asked the doctor.
As gently as he could, he told me, months, a year, who knows? Just try and put your house in order.

We fought some more but time was running out. The medical approach was now palliative. I often wondered, if early detection would have saved my life? Statistically, it has been proven that the mortality rate can be reduced through early screening and detection.

I thought of my two boys and cried out my heart that I would not live to see them grow. I wept for dreams that would never have the opportunity to materialize. I tried to make peace with myself and my World. I stopped castigating myself for procrastinating when I found the first little bump. I started soaking up as much memories as I could take in (on the days that I felt strong enough), searching for laughter with new intent and purpose and I began to experience a peace of mind that I could not explain.
Documenting all my thoughts, writing little letters to my boys and my husband, I wrote each one to mark the milestones in their lives and then, I planned my own funeral.

I was laid to rest peacefully, transitioning from a familiar World to one that I could only imagine. Fortunately, I am free from cancer, free from its debilitating pain and mind boggling cost. At long last, I get to be a singing soprano in the heavenly choirs.

Nota bene: Many of us have probably lost a family member or a dear friend to cancer. We may even know someone currently battling with this difficult challenge. Let us keep praying that an absolute cure will be found for this scourge that is decimating mankind. Let us uphold those who journey through this affliction, that they receive extraordinary grace to fight and slay this giant.

Creative Writing · Musings · Uncategorized

Ticks addiction..

June 25, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha9 Comments

What manner of intoxication is this?
What manner of fascination is this?
Eyes feasting on likes and follows,
Like there are no tomorrows.

So consumed am I,
Watching in bated anticipation for the rise of the ticks,
The highs and lows of the statistics.

The likes and nudges, the pokes and comments serve as melodious balm to my eager sapping soul and a fan to the embers of my creative juices.

With glee, I keep my hand shamelessly on the click, checking and rechecking the stats, like a fisherman who has cast a bait in hope of catching a fry.

What gives birth to such desire for validation, from friends and strangers to you and I?

Could it be our preening narcissistic selves that seek such adulation and approval? Wanting to know that we are not one lone echoing voice, unheard in the cacophonous decibels of all that goes on around us?

Could it be, could it be, the simple truth, that indeed no man is an Island? That we need each other to survive, be it in the real or virtual World?

We grasp with greedy, clutching fingers at any sign of love and approval sent our little way. Are we equally as giving, of this easily hard-earned love?

What manner of sorcery and captivation is this? To the likes, the ticks, the tweets, the follows, the apps, the phones, the comments and many more to come.

It is called Digital addiction.