When I was much younger, I was never too comfortable in my own skin. At some point, I felt too tall and lanky and at other points, too busty and whatever not.
Gradually, I learned to do things with false bravado and doing them scared. I worked hard at trying to fit in by shrinking myself just to be liked by others.
My naivety was painful and I ended up being used or abused.
Life is a real teacher and I have long realised that shrinking myself from who I am to who I am not has never been about me, but about those who I struggled to fit into the box they wanted me to be in.
I have long learned that life created you to create a life for yourself and oftentimes, it means relearning how to live and be yourself authentically.
It means taking up space unapologetically without pushing anyone down to do so.
It means that I am enough and not too much. Anyone who thinks that I am too much doesn’t matter and should not belong to those I call my tribe.
My shift in mindset stems from the need to live fully. It emanates from a desire to prioritize self-authenticity and self-respect.
I know that standing my ground, could potentially discomfort others, but I have also come to understand that the right people will accept and celebrate all of me, will not be afraid of my living out loud nor seek to cut me down to manageable size.
The decision to no longer shrink, to take up space came after so many years of self-sabotage. I refuse to be a “background player” in my own life struggling to fit into strictures designed by others.
“A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and herself only.” Maya Angelou
a cooking pot and twisted tales 