Fine. What does it really mean to be fine? Can I truly from the depth of my spirit say that I’m fine? Or is it just a superficial response to ‘how are you,’ so that I don’t make anyone feel discomfited by my true response which I suppose would be ‘heck no, I feel all raggedy and angry a lot lately.’
I wouldn’t even know where to start with my venting but here goes ‘ I’m not fine with the fact that my body does not want to age like fine wine.’ I have deep aches and pains from Fibromyalgia that not only causes discomfort but makes me grumpy a lot of times when the pain flares up.
I’m not fine with the fact that at this juncture in life I’m still struggling hard to get my dream of being an accomplished writer and blogger kick-started.
I’m not fine that the basic needs of life are still a huge hustle and that if I don’t work as hard as I do, I would probably be one pay cheque to destitution.
I’m not fine with the fact that I want to go back to school to obtain a degree in Writing & Publishing but that aspiration is still a pipe dream due to lack of finance.
I’m not fine that I’m grumbly and I feel ashamed at the deep-seated feeling of dissatisfaction that has found its way to wedge in my soul in recent times.
I’m not fine with the status quo and not prepared to keep quiet about it. I believe that to find a solution to a situation, you’ve got to be willing to bring it out into the open air and look at it candidly. Phew! I feel better just letting some of these thoughts out.
La di la, in all honesty, life is a struggle and not fine and dandy for many of us but it’s up to us to take a good look at our issues and to make extra efforts to live a fine life.