Every Little Step I Take – personal

Life, Gratitude, Higher Calling, Goals, Aspirations

The ring tone of the mobile cut into my reflection. I was just coming to the end of my evening walk. Answering the unknown number, her sweet Indian accented voice carried through and in a voice that I will place at 26 years, she chirpily informed me, Ms. Jacqueline, blah, blah, yadda, yadda… unfortunately, due to our employment policy, we can’t offer you the coveted position of events Manager since you are above 35 and too antiquated in my 4o’s (okay, I added this bit about antiquated).

Well, that gave me pause for mere minutes as I trudged up the bridge in front of me but the greatest emotion that I realized was that of relief that flooded me. An odd emotion I must say. I’ll analyze it later.

Let me give you a brief background. This is the latest venture in my attempt to find full-time gainful employment. One of the greatest challenges of being an accompanying spouse or should I say spice is the ‘not having a defined career and dependency on your spouse for periods of time that might cause discomfort.’

You could spend the better part of the time/if not all the time spent abroad searching for something suitable in the form of employment and yes, you learn frugality to the last letter y.

Except when one is up and pushing like I have to do each day – searching for freelance opportunities that come far and few in-between or occupying myself with things that enlarge my scope in the pursuit of my dreams to be a successful writer – one would probably end up a frustrated, emotional bag of chocolate cookie eating monster.

Over the years I’ve learnt to manage on what we can afford and sometimes squeeze out a bit for some side attractions but not having a strong earning power (yet) has stunted some things that I seek to do for myself.

If truth be told, my major interest for seeking this job is to earn in order to fund some self-development life-coaching programs that I want to attend and to save up to return to school next year without burdening my husband whose plate is full right now.

In my head, I was already trying to see how I would fit the job around my life that’s surprisingly full without a 9-5 job and was feeling somewhat stressed at the thought. Now, this explains my odd sense of relief when they informed me that they would rather seek a person with perkier body parts than mine, irrespective of the wealth of experience that I have to bring on board.

As a matter of fact, instead of feeling disappointed or upset about the rejection, last night I felt a deep sense of inexplicable peace and understanding. A quiet voice came to me with the verse of Jeremiah 29:11 saying:

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’

By the time I went to sleep last night, I was all excited and grateful. I have no idea what lies before me, but I know deep inside me that God’s plans over my life are exceedingly bountiful.

I woke up this morning and quickly checked my emails. A notification I saw simply made me burst into tears and laughter. Tears at my foolishness and human sense of worry. Laughter at the beautiful surprise.

Gift and Gratitude

A voice said to me, go back to the work that you are doing. Go back and finish the book that has been dropped in your heart to write. It’s a book on ‘finding wisdom and purpose.’

The interesting thing is that I never had a plan to write such a book. I have novels that I am working on, but ever since the instruction to write this book came to me late last year, it has not allowed me much sleep and has taken precedence over the novels. I am several days behind due to neglecting it during my trip, but all things being equal, it will be ready by March.

All that I can say is that even when things are not looking the way we want them in our human eyes, keep your eye’s looking up. Be grateful for the much that you’ve been given, for out of it shall abundance flow.

To the sister who gave me this surprising gift, may your circle of blessings never run dry. May laughter fill your mouth and may praise remain your portion.


If you wish to participate in a gratitude challenge, there are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfillment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog, Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges.


35 thoughts on “Every Little Step I Take – personal

  1. Jackie,
    So happy for you that the good Lord blessed you abundantly today. I see many more blessings coming your way. Your cheerfulness and your work without expecting any reward is a blessing to countless many and you will not know who is sending help your way but it is your giving nature that is starting off the process.
    I was without a job for about a year and a half – no income completely dependent on my husband as I had quit my very well paying job for some ethical reasons. I applied here and applied there for jobs but like you my age was perhaps a deterrent. I did some copywriting and even some ghost writing in desperation- the maximum I made this way was $ 500.
    I started blogging too in order to become a writer who could earn her keep. One day I got an email from a Western university asking me this way if I would come to their office and meet them- they didn’t have any job for my qualification but if I was willing to take a very small job, they would see what they could do for me. I took up the small job and it was a blessing- the times were good, money was good and above all the colleagues were good. Six months later, I got a promotion into a permanent job and now when I see those who damaged my reputation and me in my previous institution, I can truly say- even though I walked through the valley of shadow of death, I need fear no evil for thou art and will be with me.
    God bless you and the work that you do, Jackie.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. There is a peace in recognising the value in the way things are and when we allow peace there is room in that tranquil room for the good things to come in … your story is wonderful, I am delighted for you and I am sure it is the first step to the greater success you deserve through writing this book of yours ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Jackie you are going places. His plan us always perfect. Keep doing what you are doing. Sometimes what we are looking for is right in front of us. And sis… The big bucks is coming right inside your gift and talent. Thank you for sharing your testimony…. For it is a tale of our heavenly father’s faithfulness. He is so good at keeping his promises beyond our wildest imaginations.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. What a beautiful testimony Jacky, I can so relate with being an accompanying spouse; learning frugality and everything between. Jer 29:11 has kept me going. Yours is a beautiful piece already. Thanks so much for sharing

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your kind comments. My reaction is a surprise to me. Not an ounce of feeling upset. It has served as a different lesson in maturity and grace for me and instead of losing confidence, I actually gained more belief in myself.

      Liked by 1 person

I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..

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