This Is Who I Am….Streams of consciousness Saturday.

This is what it is and I have come to accept that. When I was younger, it was a bit difficult to really describe who I was or am and what I am all about.SoCS badge 2015

I can get quite wrapped up in my books and in make-believe Worlds that open up for me in the pages and I find beautiful contentment from that.

Being around lots of people gives me pleasure and I would be the life of the party. Mingling, laughing, dancing and all the merry-making, yet in the background of all this, is some still brook that runs deep inside me. A reserved person looking from the outside.

This different personalities that inhabited one soul, confused me a bit in the younger years of still trying to find myself. I thought that I had to fit into a mold.

That I had to be x or y, black or white, this or that. That I had to be either an extrovert or introvert and every other label that people put out there to pen everyone else.

My mother would say that I was the most quiet child she has when we were growing up, with an acute sense of responsibility, yet at the same time, she would equally say that I am one person that would arrive and would be welcomed as many. ‘When she comes in, we say you people are welcome.’ A one woman riot squad.

In the early days, I never quite understood these things and struggled to fit into one caption or the other.

Now, I am older and wiser, I embrace the me who is a bundle of eclectic this and that and I have ceased with the defining.

I accept and love the me who rages like a wild-fire yet burns in peaceful flames.

The cool sophisticated lady with the blend of a gypsy, wild child.

I admire the me who loves colours in splashes of vivid brightness and the calmness of cool pastels. Who has a myriad taste, yet particular.  A me who reads like an open book, yet with curling smokes of mystery.

This is me who loves noise and quiet, who embraces life with zest and calmness. A bundle of contradicting this and that.

No more definitions!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Today’s SOC’s prompt asking us to write about this and that had me looking around for a few minutes then I realized that I am an epitome of lots of this and that.

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40 thoughts on “This Is Who I Am….Streams of consciousness Saturday.

  1. I can totally relate to this, Jacqueline! And I love this post — a good mix of contradictions that form a whole, happy, natural person.
    (And I found out you and I are day apart in our March birthday — from what you posted on Mel’s site! I’m not surprised that the three of us are March-borns!)
    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. well, as you say “……… to write about this and that had me looking around for a few minutes then I realized that I am an epitome of lots of this and that. ” WE thank you for being a cooking pot and twisted tales hee hee left mine open for this n that ha any who, I was quiet, shy, I figured out from reading you can be an extroverted introvert or something (more another day perhaps) but i went to college and Never fit back in the box that i was ‘in’, don’t’ fit me I don’t fit it. I guess blogging got me being talky again just have to write it 😀 Really i am a quiet one! 😀

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  3. You are as unique as they come! While I am most definitely an introvert…I remember being very popular and “pretending” to be an extrovert while a teen and in my early 20’s. I was very good at it, but it exhausted me and finally I had to let go and fade into the background where I am most comfortable. I can easily become overwhelmed so I have to set boundaries and limits.

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  4. Yes. I too can relate trying to fit into some mould. Recently I did some thing quite liberating. 10 years ago I was on holiday in my birth country and I got drunk and got a naff tattoo. I have felt so ashamed of it for so long. 10 years later at the age of 34 I decided if I am going to have a tattoo I ma going to have something that unique and me. I have this beautiful cover up tattoo on my arm/shoulder -a lot bigger than the original one – it is an explosion of some kind of abstract wild flower with a yellow filled and outlined in black -more defined butterfly. I feel like I am finally becoming me. The one thing that really bugs me still is the effect other peoples doubts and opinions have on me. Something I have been trying to assert most of my life. Yes, we are not one dimensional. A lot of the times we are contradictory or at least that can be the case with me. Thanks for the post. It has given me a bit of a boost to carry on doing things for me and trusting my instincts 🙂 xx

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  5. I love this revelation, it makes so much sense to me. We are all so much more than any single label, it is wonderful when you are “hard to define”. I was always considered the shy one in my very aggressive family. It took me years to shake that label. I think I understand how deep those still waters can run. Lovely post, Jacqueline. 💘

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  6. I often say labels are boxes, once you enter one, you will be disconncted from the larger world. Your piece is a rendition from heart to heart. Thank you.

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  7. You sound quite similar to me, Jacqueline! I can’t figure out whether I’m a quiet extrovert or an outgoing introvert – definitely some sort of oxymoron though.. My sun is in sagittarius and my moon in pisces – think that has something to do with it. Nice to come across your blog. Mary 🙂

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  8. Pingback: Interview with Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha – Mandibelle16

  9. Pingback: Rewind Interview with Writer, Poet, and Author Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha #amwriting #interview #nonfiction – Mandibelle16

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I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..

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