Love · My YouTube Channel · Poetry Vlog · Poetry/Poems · VLogs

Be Mine…Please Listen to this and tell me what you think..YouTube Vlog

jacquelineobyikocha

The whiff of your perfume
curls around my senses
as you brush past to grab a seat
in your favoured spot.

My eyes light up in quivery anticipation
of all the sensations
that is associated with your presence

We always board the 6 pm train
Two strangers,You and I
Yet your figure has grown familiar
and your signature perfume
a fragrance I have come to know

It spoke of dusky Summer nights
and those soft rainy days.

Your bare-ringed finger
I have stared at for so long
Within me
I know that you are not spoken for

Your full red lips
Matches your red finger tips
I doubt you know how delectable you look
with your underlip caught between your teeth

The trundle of the train
causes us to sway gently
as we approach each stop

I know that I have to take the plunge now
for the urgency in me has grown into a huge lunge

You step out and I follow in haste
No longer willing to watch you through the windows
as we pull slowly away

Providence seems to be with me today
for your clicking heels catch on a stumble
and I rush to the rescue
a Prince to his fair maiden

For the first time
I catch you in my arms
Your breathing sigh 
and your breathless thank you
a worthy boon.

Hello I said to you.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

So what do you think? Is it a poem that can carry forward or should be left as is?

Please let me know your thoughts below.

Thank you. 🙂

Advertisement

Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

45 thoughts on “Be Mine…Please Listen to this and tell me what you think..YouTube Vlog”

  8. Ah, this is gorgeous, Jacqueline. I definitely believe you should take this further and write more about this couple. It’s a wonderful beginning to what may be the love story of the century. I closed my eyes as you read this and could imagine the whole scene from start to finish. It’s definitely a made-for-Hollywood romance story! Bravo! Oh, and what a gorgeous voice you have. Happy Valentine’s Day from Newfoundland, Canada 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  16. Fantastic poem, wonderfully romantic. It surprised me to realise you were taking the man’s voice right near the end though. I think it’s very good as it is, ending where it does, as is – but at the same time would love to see how you continue the poem-story. I had to close your blog page though and watch it on Youtube, then come back, as your background music drowned you out.not a problem really, I don’t mind a few extra clicks for you Jacquie 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  17. What I think? I think the poem sizzles. Damn, how I love love stories! It’s very real… something that can well happen on those buses, trains, or roads we take and ply daily… please continue! Thank you! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. I think it’s very well written. Lovely prose. It’s nice in its form as it is although it leaves room for growth 😉 This could be taken further by some extent, no matter what that may be. Although, I like it in its raw form as just a poem that leaves the reader to fill in the blanks as to what came after.
    Simply your choice to make my dearest! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. Playing catch-up and finally got to this video. Vey nice. I just wish you had looked INTO the camera instead of off to the side. By looking into the camera it gives more of an intimate feel, as if you were talking only to the watcher.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s