Tag Archive | Values

Personal Memories – Streams of Consciousness Saturday

Memories are powerful parts of who we are, where we are coming from and most times they inform how we venture further afield into life. Some memories fade with time, while some hold dark moments in our lives even when we try to suppress them.

Some memories burn vivid and bright in our minds and evoke a sublime state of happiness in our lives that we unwittingly wish to cling to such memories even when that time has long passed. These are the memories that I wish I could hold in the palm of my hands, but I store them in a better place – my heart.

A lot of times, I remember moments in time of my childhood when all I knew was the cocooning love of my parents and as an adult, I crawl back into my head into those moments that suffuse my entire being with softness and warmth.

Each day that passes by brings memories of my loved ones’ who have passed on to the other side to my mind. They are the one’s who shaped my life and molded my values as the human that I am today. My late dad and my beautiful, enigmatic grandmothers.

My dad is/was a man amongst men. A gentleman to the letter. A firm, fair-minded and peaceful fellow. He loved music. He was creative and diligent. He loved people. He worked hard. He was a good man, good father, and provider. He loved me.

Sometimes, memories of him bring bittersweet tears to my eyes’ that even after 3 years of his passing, I get a lump in my throat whenever my thoughts dwell on him. He was my anchor.

Memories of my grandmothers’ are filled with softness, with laughter, with tales of folklore, proverbs and life lessons. With pampering with one hand and a hard smack on the butt for misbehaving, with eating freshly prepared meals made on firewood and earthenware pots. They are filled with remembrance of massaging aching muscles with locally prepared shea butter and the heartfelt thank you that my gran would say. As I write this I can hear the echo of her voice in my head as she says ‘Nnedim, Ezigbo nwa.’

Now I have the great urge to eat from an earthenware pot, to sit on a three-legged stool in the small kitchen back in my village and to watch the pregnant nanny goat as she chewed a portion of yam peels with certainty.

Linda, thank you for taking me down memory lane with today’s prompt. As we remember the heroes in our lives, the heroes past, it comes to my mind to point out that heroes are not only those who fought armed battles but all those who make sacrifices every day to ensure that our future is better. Go and be someone’s hero today.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Quick glossary:

Nnedim – In Igbo language means ‘my husbands’ mother.’ My gran believed in reincarnation and that I’m her mother-in-law who she spoke of with such fondness and love.

Ezigbo Nwa – means ‘good child.’


out-of-the-silent-breath 2

 

Midnight Motivations and Musings 85

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It’s always interesting to listen to people define ‘who they are’ by the pigment of their skin.

The pigment of your skin is simply aesthetics. The who you are is the being that resides behind the skin.

If you wish to understand a bit more, consider the thought of stripping yourself bare as a child, with no thought of colour and with an open mind of a receptive adult. Who do you see beneath your skin?

In our World, there are no doubts that the colour of our skin determines a lot with respect to our social strata…that’s an entirely different topic, but we shouldn’t let the colour of our skin determine who we really are, how far or how low we can reach in our lives.

The more you know yourself, the more you broaden your horizons.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

I hear you in my thoughts…

Your words of wisdom,

of love and encouragement…

They are etched upon my soul.

They keep me warm.

**

*an excerpt from my poem*

Not a piece of cake…Streams of consciousness Saturday.

We all came from a parent and some people have foster, adoptive, and step -parents.SoCS badge 2015

All the interactions that I have had with other parents lay emphasis on the fact that parenting is not a game or sport that comes with a one-size fit all manual.

Before I became a parent, I had absolutely no concrete idea what it would involve. Beyond imagining my cute babies in diapers, with ribbons in her hair or boys in baby blues, reading lots of motherhood literature, it’s been a case of trying, to the best of my ability and not losing my marbles while at it 🙂

As a matter of fact, it’s the hardest responsibility with far-reaching results that I have ever had to take on and you very well can’t resign from it. You are on duty 24/7 for the rest of your life even when they are old and have flown the coop and now it makes me appreciate my parents so much more.

I remember almost driving myself bonkers reading all  The Dr. James Dobson Parenting Collection books that I could find until I realized that yes indeed, the books are very good guides and insights, but the books didn’t know me, my background, nor my child. So, a whole lot also had to be uniquely experienced.

A parents duty as a custodian of these young ones involves imparting the right values, a sense of well-being a wholesome identity, attitude and an endless list of scenarios to work with.

Leaving a legacy for generations after is no piece of cake. The wrong path can cause a whole lot of damage to a child and alienate them. We learn to balance love and discipline, to apply authority and gain their confidence without being oppressive.

In my opinion, the act of procreation is not sufficient to make one a parent. As a matter of fact, in some instances, procreation simply makes the person a biological vessel that brought the child to being because I’ve seen instances where I question how some humans treat the child/children who have been bestowed on to them.

My greatest fear as a mother is failing in my duty to raise upstanding, responsible children who will be a positive testimony to their generation.

Apparently, without over-stressing it, raising children requires lots of grace and wise counsel from above.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Apparently a parent, SoCS


Below is my first Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Out of the silent breath

Dance to your heart’s delight my African child, until echoes of your stamping feet, beating heart; bright eyes, smiling lips; and waving hands, resonates over and over like thunder claps, reverberating throughout the Universe.

Just dance.