Tag Archive | struggle

Keeping it in the right place – personal.

I just can’t give up now ‘cos I’ve come too far from where I’m coming from. Nobody told me that the journey would be easy, but believe me when I say it’s been a struggle (to put it mildly).

In recent weeks, my heart hasn’t been in the right place. I’ve struggled to find my sunshine through the dark clouds that it’s been hard to even crack a smile. Should I pretend that all feels well to me?Image result for images for thankfulness

Should I feign ignorance of the ugliness of what’s going on in the World? Fake the fact that to some people I’m subhuman because I’m black? How easy is that if I may ask?

Let me tell you the truth, I’m not feeling like the sunny child that I am. I feel mad, ugly with deep-rooted anger and so sad. My husband is travelling to the States for some weeks and I’m virtually having palpitations from unreasonable fear, in as much as I keep telling myself to stop with the negative thinking and not to let the enemies of progress steal my peace.

I realize that it’s so easy to drown in the deluge of bad news that constantly hovers and I have to save myself from drowning just yet, if ever at all. I’ve consciously used you, my friends as my crutch, my family, exercise, music, prayers, writing out my anger and tearing it up and then writing my thanks and keeping it before my eyes. These may seem like meaningless acts, but they work. It helps me to keep my thoughts in the right place and to give thanks in everything with a grateful heart and believe me when I say that there’s a lot to give thanks for. To me, my need and state of peace and thankfulness far outweigh all the foolishness out there put together.

Being thankful is a process that releases good thoughts in you. It triggers the positive side of your brain that improves your self-esteem, your mental strength, your psychological health, sense of empathy and so much more.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

If you wish to participate in a gratitude challenge, there are several gratitude/thankful platforms in the blogosphere that you can tune into and get your ithankful going on. I can’t express in words the enormity of Joy and fulfilment that comes from having a heart of gratitude. Please check out Maria’s blog,Colline’s blog and Bernadette’s for thankful/gratitude challenges.

P.S. We’ll be having our monthly blog party 1st – 2nd of October. I’ll keep you posted.


out-of-the-silent-breath 2

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Sihouette’s

This week’s prompt ‘top and light’ from Ronovan gave me an opportunity to try different story lines and I settled for these two eventually.

She knows he’s at home.
Light streams out of his apartment window
that’s on the top floor

Looking up as she dials
she sees his silhouette in the light
and another without her top

Thoughts race through her mind
like light, they flit by so fast
who’s the other topless lady?

**

I crawled to the top

of the dark, dingy and scary pit

into the brightest of lights.


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

 

From the very first poem, “Dreams,” this book captivates with passionate and perceptive words. Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha captures a broad expanse of the human experience in this book of richly layered poems.

Out of the silent breath

How Do You Heal A Heartsick Heart?…….HELP me!

sad-black-woman

I know all that I want to say;

There are drafts, lots of them;

The words are not lacking at all;

The ideas are bounteous and overflowing;

Yet I have no words to say anything;

Because I am heartsick!

How do you heal a sick heart?

How do I get my happy again?

I know the words in my treasured Bible;

I know that they comfort me;

I ask for a silver lining in this dark cloud;

But I see nothing; not yet at least;

Is it under my bed?

Maybe I should take a look!

Is it in a bottle?

I have no head for such!

Is it in prayers?

A heavy heart, all I do is sigh!

In the pages of a book?

My drifting mind goes here and there!

Where is it?

But still my heart sickens within me;

I feel empty like a hollow drum;

And I hate to feel this way;

Or to have a pity party;

It is said that time heals;

I think time just covers the sores;

Of oozing wounds;

But the scar tissues are left behind;

To remind us of the battles behind;

I try all the positive pick me ups;

I do hate to be in the doldrums;

I stuff myself with sugary bites;

Hoping to find some delight;

Yet nothing seems to work!

At least I can try to write the pain away!

How do you heal a heartsick heart?

Does anyone know?

Because this struggle is real!

I am human not machine;

I feel things like every other like me;

Despite the upbeat state of mind;

That I choose to maintain;

Sometimes, the pain is so real

It consumes your entire being;

You cannot seem to think of anything else;

The laughter is forced;

The companionship is wanted and not wanted;

The placation placates and annoys;

Your feelings are all twisted and upside down;

Sometimes, I wish that it is easy to stop feeling;

To become an Island and create a buffer around your heart;

That way you loose no one and you feel nothing;

But that would be a sad waste wouldn’t it?

The struggle is real!

Some may think it is a show of weakness;

To wail and to seek for help;

But I know that I don’t have all the answers;

Neither do I care for toughies who know it all!

Tell me; how do you heal a heartsick heart?

P.S. When the grim reaper deals a blow; Someone must be left grappling with the wicked show!

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Today I pray for you…

Praying woman

Today I pray for you..
I wish that you will find peace and healing as you hurt in any way.

Today I pray for you..
I pray that you will find strength to hold on,
And abundant Grace to see you through.

Today I pray for you..
I pray for a consistent hedge of protection,
around you and yours, especially in these confusing times.

Today I pray for you..
I pray that you experience mercy, where it is needed

Today I pray for you..
I pray that you will find succor,
Even from the most unexpected channels.

Today I pray for you..
I pray that your heart and mind,
May be generous in your dealings with mankind.

Today I pray for you..
I pray that your faith and hope remains undiminished,
Even when all seems lost,
Just a sliver of faith and hope will suffice.

Today I pray for you..
I pray that your endeavors are met with success.

Today I pray for you..
I pray that all is well with you,
Even as you struggle to believe.

Today I pray for you..

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Photo credit: God Knows my heart-Celia Stevens