You Are Banished! Go To Your Room 101!…Ranting

February 9, 2016February 9, 2016 jacquelineobyikocha22 Comments

What a delightful way to cast my baleful eyes and vent at some poorly behaved humans while having fun doing it as well.

Thank you my dear Amanpan for your generous invitation.

Now, I don’t have to feel bad for using my imperial power of thinking to banish some people 😉

Here are my nominees:

I have a tidy list of offenders that I would like to banish to their room, but I will just stick to five as specified.

That ungentlemanly behaved fellow that traveled up the 43rd floor with me, on a lift that stopped on every floor. He was ‘Chewing gum so loudly’ and blowing the bubbles like a total ass. I love to chew gum but not in a clackety clack manner, right in someone’s face. I felt like taking the gum and sealing his lips for just a few seconds, but only managed to give him a malevolent look 😉

Loud phone calls in public. I love people watching quite alright and eavesdropping occasionally, but for the life of me, I don’t want to know everything about your life that you must have your entire conversation right in my ears in your loud voice. Save the quarrel for when you get home or wherever it is. I sat in the bus beside a lady and my bus ride which was taken as a pleasure to Deira market turned into a cacophony of hisses and heated argument of a lady and whoever it was at the other end for a whole 45 minutes and unfortunately, I did not have my headphones with me.

Can you make up your mind? Keeping everyone else waiting while you dash off to get the tomatoes, then the milk, then the stick of butter, then a loaf of bread. Geez! Make a shopping list please.

The man blocking the plane aisle with his over-sized carry on which cannot fit and we all have to queue behind him whilst he tries to squash it in by force, with all the extras that he has as well. What happened to checking it in?

I know it seems the in-thing these days, but for the love of heaven, can that lady with the need to show some extra cleavage cover up a bit more of those mammary glands and young man, by the way, I don’t think I want to see your butt-crack either. Thank you very much.

I would have loved to continue, but I have to stop now. That guy that leaves his sweat all over the machines in the gym drives me crazy 😉

Here are the rules:

Thank the blogger that nominated you.
Award 5 bloggers who fascinate, intrigue or tickle your curiosity with the Room 101 (award) badge logo on their About pages and linking to them in your post.
Tell us the 5 things you would banish to Room 101!
Attach these rules to your post.
Grab your badge above and enjoy adding it to your trophy case, but please be respectful of the creator of the award by never altering the logo and never changing the rules.

Enjoy the rant.

Humor - Bellyful of laughter · The Daily Post · Travel · Writing

Hop On! It’s a Rambling Voyage…

November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha34 Comments

Asides from desert nomads who even own 4 wheel drives these days, we no longer have to travel for days on end in the dusty trail of a pony.

I love traveling and have explored as much as I can through different modes of what I refer to as reasonable transportation.

I haven’t tried the hot air balloon yet and my over zealous imagination goes into overdrive at the thought of such an experience. I doubt very much if I will.

I love cycling on my stationary bike and the huffing and puffing is enough for me. I am not sure that I will manage to get far on a bicycle. I probably won’t get to see much as I huff all the way and then have to worry about a sore butt at the end of it all.

A plane is quite expedient to nip about in, because it gets you there faster especially for long distance travel, but asides from the airport excitement of removing your belts and buckles and shoes and what not, the only view that you have for endless miles in the air (held up only by gravity) are clouds in different shapes and sizes and the view of the geographical terrain below from 30,000ft and that is if you are lucky enough to sit by the window because I doubt if your neighbour would appreciate your leaning over their pot belly every few seconds to peek out of the window.

I must admit that I am not particularly fond of take offs, turbulence and landings and these days that planes have taken to falling out of the sky at cruising altitude, that is something additional to worry about.

My guess is that we will get on board, grit our teeth, hold our breath and the seat of our pants and recite our prayer beads for those inclined to do so.

I am a very visual person because this stokes my imagination so I truly don’t mind traveling by road on a bus or a private car. However, that was less tedious when I didn’t have children tagging along.

For a trip that takes more than 3 hours to arrive at your destination, prepare your mind for a thousand times of asking “are we there yet”, keeping them engaged, countless pit stops for coffee, donuts and restroom runs and some possibility of getting lost too.

Our best trip so far was a six weeks tour of Europe via Euro-star TGV. I felt like Agatha Christie on an expedition. It was simply awesome and I met lots of interesting characters on the train.

The sights taken in from London to Paris, Madrid, Geneva, Zurich, Belgium, Amsterdam and environs were absolutely wonderful and I wanted to share my love for Europe with my family. It is an experience that I am looking forward to repeating.

Well now, I had an experience with a camel on a desert safari and I daresay that a short ride is all well and good. I respect those who sit on it for days on end. I simply don’t look forward to having legs bowed from hours of straddling such wide girth and the camel experience is worth a post in itself.

In response to The Daily Prompt Trains, Planes and Automobiles

You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, or car? (Or something else entirely — bike? Hot air balloon?)

The Daily Post · Travel · Writing

Those Heebie-Jeebies…

October 28, 2015October 28, 2015 jacquelineobyikocha56 Comments

Don’t bother about trying to convince me with any pep talk. It simply won’t work! There are some experiences that I can live without henceforth.

There are some things that mere thoughts of them gives me sufficient heebie-jeebies and for all the curry in India or tea from China I will be glad not to encounter or repeat such experience.

I literally break out in hives at the sight of a snake and would gladly walk barefoot over hot coals than come close to one. I have been known to go to zoos and completely by-pass the reptile zone.

My kids even make fun of that fact. You will hear them whisper conspiratorially, ”if mummy sees that sign, she will start screaming” and my youngest champion will get all protective of me. He would say, ”mummy don’t look!” ”You will get frightened like a little girl.”

”Well son, I shall not look, but if truth be told mummy is a little girl in a big body.” With a stiff upper lip, I go and settle myself on a bench while they go off to look at the vile creatures. Urrgh!

I am not a cat with nine lives and even if I have twenty lives as well as a parachute bigger than a house, I am never going to jump off a plane in the sky. There is no point killing myself with palpitations.

The adrenaline jolt that I get inside the pages of my books or watching National Geographic is sufficient, besides, my ifly simulated experience was all well and good. Several days after, I was cross-eyed and walked with a squint like a drunk sailor.

Those dare-devil roller coaster rides are experiences called ”ONCE is enough.” My last experience at Abu Dhabi Theme park, made me realize that one could have a cardiac arrest in one of those contraptions. I went on a crazy roller coaster ride and spoke in tongues all through the ride. I think my heart stopped beating and restarted after we came down. I had to go and recuperate quietly with a large cup of ice-cream to soothe my frayed nerves.

The kind of horror movies that is peddled these days are not designed for the squeamish and they would frighten the whiskers off a cat’s face.

I find the amount of gore and unbelievable diabolical acts perpetrated so revolting, that sometimes it makes me ponder at the deranged state of some human mind. I won’t spend my time or money just to feel sick.

In response to The Daily Post prompt Fright Night

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?