Tag Archive | Caring

We All Grieve – How To Support Someone Grieving

For some reason, some people find the grieving process embarrassing and uncomfortable, thus the tendency for such people is to avoid those who show their pain, or on the other hand, to hide their pain and carry on with life as usual.


Grief, Sadness, How To Support A Bereaved Person

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At some point in time, we all suffer a loss and we grieve, but because majority of people think of grief as that single instance or short period of time of experiencing pain or sadness in response to a loss, many are literally rushed through the grieving process and encouraged to party away their sorrows so to speak.

What many fail to understand is that grieving is a highly emotional process which differs from person to person and can last a long time. No one can tell another how to grieve because you don’t bear their pain.

For anyone who’s going through loss, there are ways that help to mitigate the situation even when the pain is palpable and seems unending.

  • Give it time and always allow yourself the quietness and space you need to be alone. Have a meltdown if you need to. Tears help to rid the body of stress hormones.

 

  • Accept the way you feel, no matter how you feel and don’t judge yourself for grieving over your loss.

 

  • Write it out. Write a letter to your loved one, or journal your thought process about your loss.

 

  • Talk about it with others who have experienced loss. How do they find the strength to carry on? Don’t be ashamed to ask such questions.

 

  • Talk to your lost loved one even if your conversation feels strange and one-sided.

 

  • Look through your old photos, letters, emails or other things that you shared. Relive those wonderful times/and not so wonderful times shared.

 

  • Find a hobby that makes you happy, kick-start a healthier lifestyle.

 

  • Wear something of theirs, like a piece of jewellery, chain, watch…which could instil a sense of closeness.

 

  • Honour them with poetry if you are into writing poetry or a piece of testimonial that you are able to write infused with details of your loved one.

 

  • Take it one day at a time, celebrate life as much as you can, get out more into nature and remember to honour them by living happy and living the way that they would have wanted you to.

Support, Helping Hand, Compassion, Friendship, Love, Caring

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How to offer support to someone recently bereaved and what not to say to them.

  • Don’t avoid someone who’s been bereaved. It only hurts them further. Sending a brief note, text, email, phone call or other means of contact is a good idea.
  • Don’t ever compare the loss of someone’s loved one to the loss of a pet.
  • Don’t tell someone how they’re feeling because their grief is personal and everyone process things differently.
  • Don’t stop someone crying or telling them not to cry. Though this might be meant to be helpful, it seems as if you are shutting them down and asking the person to bottle up their emotion.
  • A reassuring, gentle touch to let them know you are there is sufficient. You are not obliged to say something immediately.
  • Remember that grief lasts long after the delivery of the sad news. Check on the person at regular intervals to know how they are doing.
  • Following the shocking news, the first few days and even weeks may be hard on the bereaved that daily tasks like cooking and eating become difficult. Sending food and offering to help with mundane admin tasks is helpful. Your friend may need extra support.
  • Soon after the death, someone needs to sign the death certificate. This usually falls on a close member of the family and it’s a tough task to do alone. If you are in a position to go with the bereaved ensure that they have all the vital information and documentation required because a death certificate cannot be altered.
  • Attend the funeral if possible. It is comforting to know that there are lots of people to see off a loved one.
  • Be mindful of saying such things like: “they have gone to a better place,”  or “they died at a good age.” There’s never a right age to lose someone you love.
  •  Don’t be afraid to share the minutiae details or funny anecdotes of your day with them. Distracting, normal everyday news of other people’s lives can be comforting.
  • Don’t let fear hold you back from helping. Be someone’s shoulder and listening ear as they walk through their grief.
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Would You Like To Share Your Links?

caring, sharing, clasped hands

You know that I love to read and share other people’s work and I am low on links. If you’ve got something interesting you would like others to share with others, do add your links through this link.

Have a peaceful and blessed week.

Jacqueline

Featured Posts – Share Your Post Links – Find New Blogs

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‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Do step in and show some love.

Mack Marie I enjoy the fresh rambling, photos and food at  Mack Marie’s blog. Please check it out 🙂

Neel Writes  Crisp, short word bites that speaks volumes and stories you’ll enjoy.

Motivation I feel like a sore bear and in dire need of this motivation J.L offered. Maybe you need some too.

Butterflies get the best of me Sweet insinuations. Do you still get the flutters now and again or have you become too jaded in your ways? 😉

What is your pets’ tale? I think we are all safer telling pet tales right now. Pets bring warmth and love and that’s just what we need. Check this out.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together.


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Featured Posts 141 – Share Your Post Links

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‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Short Sunday Post The elements evokes and inspires deeply. It does that to me. When the storm is over, the calm comes with enriched vigour.

Problematic We  A thought-provoking post.

The perception we have about their reality may be imaginative. Maybe problems do not exist. Maybe our mind is a factory which creates a problem. Maybe our problems are illusions.

Forever Young Yes, I have to keep thinking like this. It’s better to dwell on the positive side of aging 🙂

Mirror others are said to be mirror for us There’s so much truth in this post. It’s worth reading again and again.

Ain’t gonna be no swine Aria I totally love this short piece. It made me laugh with the witty wisdom. Take a peek 🙂

Do step in and show some love.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together. 


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Featured Posts 130 – Share your post links.

1456149614808[1]

‘PLEASE KEEP SENDING IN THE LINKS.’ 

Today’s featured blogs posts are:

Examinations. Never been fond of exams.

The twist of life. An interesting, thought-provoking poem. An old blob of human matter. That’s what his children considered him to be when he got too old to be useful. Hmm!

Return to The Post Office Box – a story reimagined.  Interesting and this is what I said. “What an interesting story. I read the first part earlier and this ending really suits it. It’s a fun perspective to look at a thought-provoking story of a woman who’s enduring domestic violence.”

An interview with the main character. I totally like this concept that Pamela used here and will use it as well to help me understand the quirkiness of one of my characters.

Sugar daddies are killing a generation. An ugly story of a sad reality. A must read in my opinion.

Do step in and show some love.

‘Do you want more eyes on your words?’

Well then, add your LINK INTO THIS LOOP.

Comments are disabled here to keep the loop tidy. Any comments or link you want to send can be added through the link in the post.

Thank you for your understanding and regards.

‘We create a cohesive community when we come together. 

P.S. We’ll be having our monthly blog party 1st – 2nd of October. I’ll keep you posted.


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The Hospice…

Celia bawled her eyes out and snot dripped down her nose . She’s never been one to sob softly into a handkerchief.

She had known that the end was close, but the news still hurt badly and tears swam in her eyes as she read the letter.

“Dear Celia, thank you for these years of love and care. For bringing warmth to the heart of an old lady. I’ve come to see you as the daughter I never had and would like to bequeath these items to you. Please accept them with all my love.”  Celia Oldham.

As usual, she had come for her visit at the hospice where she spent time keeping the old folks’ company; listening to their stories, reading to them and sneaking in an occasional toffee.

Over time the deceased became her favourite. Mrs. Oldham took to her when she learnt that they shared the same name and looked forward to the visits. She always took the pains to dress nicely in a frock, cardigan, pearl set and a gemstone ring that she wore on her third finger. Mrs. Oldham had no surviving family. Her sweetheart died during the war and she never remarried.

Inside the little box was a battered, old diary, the pearl set, the ring, a purple scarf, a bank draft for $200,000 raised in her name and the last book they had been reading – Jane Eyre.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

InLinkz

Thank you, Jade for the photo and Priceless Joy for hosting this charming platform where we unleash our stories:-)

Note: PJ please, I crave your indulgence for having overshot the word limit. I chopped and snipped the story here and there yet it refused to get shorter.


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