We are trying too hard. We are not trying hard enough.

At certain points reminders of where one failed or didn’t get it right pops up.

The usual nag of the annoying voice even sometimes says ‘why bother?’ Since we can’t have what we want instantly; better jobs, excellent health, abs to die for, a wonderful partner, more money, fame, fabulous lifestyles and the whole nine yards – since it is life in the digital century – we feel deflated and defeated.

The inner critic hoots and snickers and smirks at our ambitious attempts to set those 30 years worth of resolutions aright.

…But hang on! Just wait a minute. Why the fall backs, the lapses, the frustration, the giving in and giving up, most especially with our New Year resolutions?

I have spent weeks dwelling on the concept of resolution. What it entails and I am sure there is so much to think about, in respect of this concept.

At the on-set, we set off all gung-ho, with sufficient zeal to launch a new float on River Thames, but just before the clock says quarter past on the years calendar, our zeal is at half-mast, deflated or totally gone and negativity sets in. ‘A vicious cycle.’

It dawned on me that the fact of the new way of life, which is the instant gratification of going for something and getting it hot and delivered and with the release of attendant happy endorphin, we drive ourselves round the bend, burning ourselves with the pressure to succeed and when the expected success doesn’t arrive fast enough, the resultant feeling of failure sets in.

Failure is a two way wrench. It either tightens one to push harder to excel, or it deflates one to give in and give up.

I came to understand that the problem lay not in the setting of the goals, but in the perspective of approaches in achieving these set goals. They are seen as something that should be done, dealt with and then we move on to the next acquisition.

However, if we begin to view these goals as lifetime goals to be inculcated and maintained, would our perspectives and approach differ? Would we stick to the plan a wee bit longer and not say, ‘oh well’ I will try and set better resolutions again next year.

We do know that Life does not happen in quarterly allocations but a cumulative result of each day and how we live it.

So, what is it going to be? New Year Resolutions or Lifestyle Solutions?

A striking of balance that stretches over time, or temporal instant gratifications that nose-dive once the spirit flags?

I choose the balanced Lifestyle Solutions that allows for the ebbs and flows of the days of our lives.

DO NOT base your Lifestyle solutions on that tailored for someone else.

That will simply run the copy-cat ragged, especially if the vision pursued is neither yours, nor does it resonate with you.

Taking the time to determine what truly reflects what I want to see in my life, is a journey worth undertaking on a daily, weekly, monthly basis and not just a list of hopeful aspirations which are drawn out on the 31st of December of each year, run after for a few good weeks and then shoved into the cabinet to get moldy or to serve as a nice place for the spiders to weave their web, once the veneer of The New Year wears off.

Here is to better Lifestyle Solutions and a brilliant 2016. Cheers.

‘Blessed are you, awesome people.’

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha.