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It Got Stuck On My Hips…

jacquelineobyikocha

communication-relationships

Believe me when I tell you that I ate so much humble pie in the earlier years of my marriage, that it’s not a surprise I got a bit more ample and humble over time.

There were so many instances, that I cannot even begin to recount.

At the start of married life, I assumed that my husband was an Almighty Druid who should be able to read my mind; this was regardless of the 6 months compulsory per-marital counseling classes that we were made to attend.

I think that my mind was doodling wedding gowns in the clouds and what not, when they talked about that communication part.

Well, after the lovely wedding and the romantic honeymoon, we got into the real deal. I had never lived with a man prior to that time, I had never had a husband, so it was trial by error 😉

I see things in brilliant and different hues of colours and my husband sees them in grays and black, so, I learnt that men are truly from a different planet; maybe Mars like they said and women in a World of their own. Though I can say that some of my colours are beginning to rub off on him 😉

After several erroneous assumptions, mostly on my part, and several courses of eating humble I-am-sorry pies, I had to re-calibrate as I realized that:

No, my husband is not a mind reader, though it seems that years of being together are now turning him into one.

No, he is not a druid but, like in the first instance, some magic is happening now.

I realized that in order to make it work, our communication had to get better than my sitting on my high horse with my nose stuck up in the air, expecting him to know those things that lay within my heart and mind, and I daresay that after 15 years, I think we are getting somethings right, since we even finish each others sentences these days 🙂

Now, it’s time to shed the pounds of the humble-over-the- years pies that got stuck on my hips.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post Humble Pie

Tell us about a time you found out after the fact that you’d been mistaken and you had to eat a serving of humble pie.

Image credit – pinterest

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Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

46 thoughts on “It Got Stuck On My Hips…”

  2. I love the last line in your image…do your best to control your feelings when upset. Wow, that is sound advice. Some people think it is okay to say whatever they want because they are upset. They opposite should be practiced!

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  3. My partner considers “discussion” of relationship issues another form of “confrontation” and simply walks away…just like that! It was a real

    challenge to deal with our ego differences during the five months on the road in NZ and Australia. This is one of the things I am

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    1. This happened a bit at the onset of my marriage. We simply didn’t understand how to handle each sides differences. I am glad that time, patience, prayers, understanding, love and much more are making it work out beautifully 🙂

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  4. oops! Did it again!! writing about in my blog. As I write about my adventures, I am exploring how these “ego differences” allowed me to change for the positive. Thanks for sharing. I’ll be posting soon!!

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    1. Thank you Gina for your insightful comments. Ego really does get in a whole lot of time but when we mellow down and begin to appreciate our partners for who they are, it yields a lot of positives 🙂 Blessed love

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  5. Hmmm! Deep truth Sis,I can recall how many times I have presumed my dearest to provide all the answers only to find out that he too is on a journey unknown to him too. we would argue and i want to stand on my point not giving in. but I can see clearly now….. thanks for this beautiful post. :}

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    1. It’s all by grace sis. All by Grace. I think a lot of us made these mistakes at the initial stage and when we choose to learn, grace surfaces. Thank you for your lovely comments and have a blessed day today 🙂

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  6. I ate so many humble pies until i learned a trick…remain cool even when you are really mad so you don’t say what you’ll regret later. And you know how our men can make you feel guilty for what is actually their fault if you fall into the trap of trying to prove a point with knowing your rights…*wink*. Great post!

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  10. Lovely post. Hubby and I have been together twice as long and I agree, I expected him to know what I was thinking. I know I am more intuitive and listen more and I think I thought he would do the same. Wrong! But a good relationship is always about compromising and we’ve both gotten better over time. Wow, apparently I should do my own post about this 😉

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  12. It ‘s certainly true they cannot read your mind, Otherwise they would know exactly when to be kind!
    They would know just to hold me me when I start to cry, not to tell what I need to do so I wouldn’t need to cry.
    They would know just the moment to wink and say I love you across the room…
    But it takes about 30 years for that sweet rose to bloom!!!

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    1. In the Catholic churches back in Nigeria, engaged couples are required to attend a compulsory 6 months premarital classes before you can wed in church, since getting a divorce as a Catholic is a major feat. They give you the opportunity to examine your mind and be sure you are getting into the marriage for the right reasons.

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  14. I am not married but I do recognize this. My boyfriend and I have been together for six years now and have luckily been able to avoid any major blow ups. The few times we did have some annoyances we later concluded that it boiled down to communication and expectations. We are so in sync that I sometimes get annoyed when, on occasion, he doesn’t understand my feelings right away.
    Or sometimes when I am tired and my sentences are a little less coherent, I get snappy when he doesn’t fill in the gaps himself or doesn’t -like you say- finish my sentences. Luckily, there is always room from some humble pie later on when I see how unfair my expectations of my druid are. 😀

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    1. This is lovely dear Epi B. There is nothing as good as good communication in relationships. It takes willingness and work to get to that level. Well done . I appreciate your sharing your insight and my kind regards 🙂

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  15. Beautiful post! And I enjoyed reading the comments. It takes time to develop that string, mature relationship which, for me, is based on love and respect. If we show respect in what we say, and how we say it, we are able to work out our problem areas. May your marriage continue to go from strength to strength and may you inspire many as you live out your love. Hugs, Margie

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  16. Ah ha, I hated to say I am sorry not because I was always right but because I believe people around should know me to an extent to not say anything out way, that I would say something smart mouth. I know, I know stubborn is a trait and I am work in progress. I have come a long way and accept that telephathy does not exist yet and I should not expect people to know such things. Now, I say I am sorry when I sniff bad vibes just to kill possible disagreements.

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  17. Pingback: Free-For-All Friday | Edwina's Episodes

I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..

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