Have you ever had a mill stone tied around your neck? No? You are not sure? Well, unforgiveness is a mill stone!
Bearing grudges does not only feel like the weight of an albatross sitting on your neck, it is giving free rental space in the hardware of ones brain to issues better tossed out.
Forgiveness frees your heart and mind in ways that are beyond measure.
I forgive, not even for the sake of the person who has offended me, but to set myself free.
You forgive for your own sake, because not forgiving is called slow poison.![1448465122541[1]](https://acookingpotandtwistedtales.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/14484651225411.jpg?w=434&h=434)
This poison taints your heart, taints your mind, taints your life and it is a hindrance to the fullness of your joy because it will always remain a dark shadow and an acid leaching away at the insides of the unburdened.
It is a given that somethings may happen to us that makes us feel as if we can never get past it to the level of forgiveness, but indeed we can, when we seek the grace, even if we don’t forget the incident because it is difficult to delete certain memories that have become ingrained in our memory banks.
However, our minds are very resilient and will fight for us if we give it the chance to. Sometimes, if I am mad at someone and they are within reach, I simply unburden my grudge and move on. It is not worth nights of lost sleep. Not one bit.
I speak deeply from painful life experiences that I thought would make me cynical, embittered and an unforgiving soul.
…But love set me free! I had to actively seek peace, forgive and let go for me to be free indeed. It was so bad at a point that I secretly wished every imaginable ill on Earth on the offender and when I say that it took the serenity and the divine grace of God to expunge my bitterness, I don’t mince my words.
When I accepted those words ”daughter you are loosed” over my life, my joy burst through that no dam could contain it. Now all I feel is pity! Maybe, one day, I shall speak of these things.
It took learning to realize that even though forgiveness does not excuse a behaviour, it prevents that behaviour from destroying one’s heart.
Forgiving was unlocking the door to set a captive free and that captive was me.
Not forgiving meant empowering the enemy some more and remaining a victim.
© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha
The Daily Post prompt I Can’t Stay Mad At You.
Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?
These are such crucial insights about the healing power of forgiveness, Jacqueline.
I remember the first time I felt its power in my life. It wasn’t another who caused great harm in my life whom I needed to ultimately forgive. It was myself I needed to forgive for responding in ways that were unkind and actually made the situation worse. Before I learned that simple truth, I needed to demonize her rather than see the fear and insecurity that seemed to motivate her abusive behavior.
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Carol, I appreciate your brutal honesty which is something a lot of us would rather keep sweating the small stuff than to admit the truth to ourselves, heal and move on. I will choose forgiveness over and over and over because I know what it has done for my life. Thank you very much for your words of wisdom. I appreciate them and I am happy that you have learnt to forgive yourself.
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Praise God! Been there too many times and I find that forgiveness has become like brushing my teeth, it’s a daily practice even though the memory may stay.
The bible says forgive but lest not forget, for it may happen again.
Blessings, Emma
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I am in total agreement with that. It is a consistent and continuous practice.
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It is one aspect of life that I have struggled with but it comes in a subtle way. Like you tough events of the past left me beyond mad, time pass and I moved with time. I will not wish them ill now but to be honest I will act as if they do not exist. Some research say I have not forgiven in that case but I guess I can win every battle.
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It is always a work in progress but a move in the right direction when we move beyond the pain to rationalize it and realize that we need to move on.
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Amen! Forgiveness is a healing process that begins with the choice to forgive and ends in freedom from the pain caused by the offense. Sometimes, that process can be long but denying it will destroy the soul.
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You always sum these things up with so much wisdom Pam 🙂
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I should write slogans. lol! Really though, I just write the thoughts your posts invoke.
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Now that sounds like a good idea Pam. Seriously! It is. Think on it 🙂
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YES! Unforgiveness and resentment are poisons. They make us spiritually and emotionally sick and they can even make us physically sick!
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Very much so. I try as much as possible to shed those harmful thoughts and feelings. Not worthwhile!
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