Tag Archive | Bearing Grudges

Midnight Motivations and Musings #41…

1456985856032[1]

Harmony can hardly be arrived at when we have constant internal turmoils stemming from grudges borne over something.

A whole lot of times grudges stem from expectations placed on someone and when it’s not met, we become resentful and store that in a corner of our minds and hearts. Even when we say that we’ve forgiven the person, we keep a long list of records of all the shortfalls.

If we minimized our expectations from others to almost nothing, that way we leave room for pleasant surprises and also save ourselves that feeling of being let down.

An instance is our personal relationships. A lot of relationships fail because we go into it with a long list of dos, don’ts and infernal expectations.

They are not GOD, but fallible humans!

This virtually applies to everything that we do. For instance you might have a nasty boss. Zero your mind down to the fact that he/she has issues that they are dealing with and they possibly don’t know how to be different.

Once your mind has accepted their contrary prickly nature, you go about your business as effectively as you can without letting the acid of annoyance and grudge build up inside you. Getting into differences with such people will only hurt you more, because the likelihood is that they may not understand, don’t care or are insensitive to your feelings.

Remember that you cannot change other people, but you can change yourself. Who knows, your balanced sense of self and disposition might actually serve as a source of inspiration for such people.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Advertisements

LET GO OF THAT POISON!…

Have you ever had a mill stone tied around your neck? No? You are not sure? Well, unforgiveness is a mill stone!

Bearing grudges does not only feel like the weight of an albatross sitting on your neck, it is giving free rental space in the hardware of ones brain to issues better tossed out.

Forgiveness frees your heart and mind in ways that are beyond measure.

I forgive, not even for the sake of the person who has offended me, but to set myself free.

You forgive for your own sake, because not forgiving is called slow poison.1448465122541[1]

This poison taints your heart, taints your mind, taints your life and it is a hindrance to the fullness of your joy because it will always remain a dark shadow and an acid leaching away at the insides of the unburdened.

It is a given that somethings may happen to us that makes us feel as if we can never get past it to the level of forgiveness, but indeed we can, when we seek the grace, even if we don’t forget the incident because it is difficult to delete certain memories that have become ingrained in our memory banks.

However, our minds are very resilient and will fight for us if we give it the chance to. Sometimes, if I am mad at someone and they are within reach, I simply unburden my grudge and move on. It is not worth nights of lost sleep. Not one bit.

I speak deeply from painful life experiences that I thought would make me cynical, embittered and an unforgiving soul.

But love set me free! I had to actively seek peace, forgive and let go for me to be free indeed. It was so bad at a point that I secretly wished every imaginable ill on Earth on the offender and when I say that it took the serenity and the divine grace of God to expunge my bitterness, I don’t mince my words.

When I accepted those words ”daughter you are loosed” over my life, my joy burst through that no dam could contain it. Now all I feel is pity! Maybe, one day, I shall speak of these things.

It took learning to realize that even though forgiveness does not excuse a behaviour, it prevents that behaviour from destroying one’s heart.

Forgiving was unlocking the door to set a captive free and that captive was me.

Not forgiving meant empowering the enemy some more and remaining a victim.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt I Can’t Stay Mad At You.

Do you hold grudges or do you believe in forgive and forget?