Humor - Bellyful of laughter · The Daily Post

Those Wicked Contraptions….

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Night and Day.”

corset-itch2 Stilettos 2

An A-class rated event, coupled with the desire to cast a captivating, svelte, alluring figure all rolled-in-one *pun intended* led me down the path of purchasing a slinky dress to go with the anticipated moment.

The rolls and bulges needed to be folded in very nicely and the cute shop attendant introduced me to the wonderful corset. A piece of nip-tuck body magic, body shaping contraption (not garment in my opinion) which promised a smooth finish and an immediate downsize of several inches. Everything looked real good!

Now, a pair of stilettos which were required to complete the fashionista look were obtained (at a bargain, I must tell you).

Party, here we come!

It’s was a lovely evening. We were good to go. I was no longer so sure of my choices but with husband practically tapping his toes in the bid to go, I chose to brave it and all nicely trussed up like a turkey, off we went.

I don’t think I have spent a more miserable evening at a party before! I could barely take in sufficient gulps of air. Needless to say, the pins and needles poking at my ribs all evening were absolutely no fun!

All the lovely finger food passed me by with regret (the food regretted and so did I). Any attempt to take a meaningful bite would have caused some things to burst loose.

I couldn’t even comfort myself by dancing either! It appeared the stilettos were not quite as comfortable as they had been on the day they were bought.

I sat upright all evening like a nob or better still a snobbish aristocrat and using the restroom was not a mean feat at all!

Most of the conversation floated over my head because my entire thoughts were “Oh my God, when would be the reasonable time to leave so that I can disentangle myself from my self-imposed cagey nonsense.”

Those items never saw the light of the day again. A lesson not to be repeated.

Just in case you are interested, I have this lovely corset and killer stilts that would complement your wardrobe. It’s available for auction. Going! Going! Going….to any bidder please!

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. Thank you WordPress for reminding us of good times spent 🙂


48 thoughts on “Those Wicked Contraptions….

  1. You painted a perfect picture of what we sometimes go through just to try the trends and “look good”. Because of this I mostly dress for comfort now, but still make it look stylish by my own means. It is much better to enjoy the company than to suffer lol. I will not be taking your “wicked contraptions” of torture, but thanks for offering;p

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Once again, you have made my day with your humor and wit! Countless women, myself included, can relate to attempts to appear taller, thinner, etc. for some occasion or another. Instead of enjoying the event, we spend our time in dreadful discomfort, waiting for an opportune time to make a graceful exit. Limping to the car and practically disrobing before leaving the parking lot. Been there, done that, got the battle scars to prove it! Thanks again for making me smile 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahaaa…Bad choices 😛
    I have a few pairs of stilettos,and outfits I never wish to wear again.I just wish I would have learned my lesson with the first pair I purchased 😦
    Never too late though,I would like to sell them at your auction 😛

    Liked by 2 people

      1. LOL…yes,many more out there with bad choices haunting them in their closets!! 😉
        And I blame the shop attendant who make us feel happy about the wrong choices we are making 😛
        Clever people!! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Isn’t it funny how different shoes feel when they have been worn on the street and thus are not returnable? I used to truss myself up when I was younger, but at 53, well darlin’ I just let it all hang out!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I wear Crocs, sneakers and boots if it’s snowing. One of my big projects for fall is to find a pair of black dress shoes that are comfortable. But after a summer of soft, bouncy Crocs my feet are spoiled.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. What a lovely observation and comment Pam 🙂 You really are a blessed soul 🙂 Thank you so much for the kind words Ma’am and yes indeed, I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in his image 🙂 Hugs and kind regards 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s