The Daily Post

Sick Dread….

jacquelineobyikocha

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Phobia, Shmobia.”

Faith and fear

Would it be termed a phobia to have a deep dread for a phenomenon which is very natural to human existence?

I have no other way to express the fear that pools in my stomach and sends me palpitating at the contemplation of the loss of a dear one.

I try to philosophize it away and let it go but sometimes my fertile thoughts take a life of their own and grows into gigantic, fierce proportions when my mind dwells on such occurrence.

I have learnt to pray about it, to suppress it, but the fear remains banked within my bowels and waits for a little trigger to stoke its flames.

My total disregard for creepy crawlies, most especially snakes are far from evolving. I detest them and I hope the verb ‘detest’ is strong enough to express my aversion for snakes.

I would jog barefoot from Limpopo to Timbuktu at the mere thought of coming in contact with one. Please, don’t try to convince me to go for therapy and to get a grip of it. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever! NO THANK YOU!

I have a healthy dose of respect for heights and for anything deeper than the swimming pool.

I have recorded a good measure of success in ceasing to worry about the future and the fear of failing.

About the future, I have learnt that tomorrow turns up without my help and my role is to live that day as best as I can.

As for failure, I deserve nothing more than I get, if I don’t learn to try. So, I just keep trying and keep getting better at trying.

It is only by doing that perfection comes.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

10 thoughts on “Sick Dread….”

  3. I really should have your attitude, Jacqueline. I’ve had several bursts of cries with no apparent reason for the past 3 days. I couldn’t sleep til 2 am in the morning today, thinking that there’s just no joy in my life. I depress everyone around me!

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    1. I have gone through very depressive times too, following some incidents but on thing that has kept me balanced is prayers and seeking inner peace with diligence. Even on bad days, I work hard to remind myself. Be blessed 🙂

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  4. I feel for you. Three funerals this month. I lost both parents and all but one grandmother by the time I was 16. Now I am 57 and have lost most of my aunts, uncles, and lost six brothers. It’s never easy, but my faith in God, an assurance that I will see them again has seen me through. That does not mean I have not gone through the stages you go through after death. Denial, anger, depression, but God brought me through and I am a stronger person for it. A song from the 60s comes to mind. “Lean on me when you’re not strong, I’ll help you carry on. He will.

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I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..