The weather is getting so lovely these day that it’s beauty beckons one to go out and explore and I intend to maximize the opportunity starting from this weekend.
Between the usual weekly runaround of trying to earn a livelihood to keep the body and soul together, keeping the family machine well-oiled and running, I clicked some photos for the week here and there, from a little adventure in a quaint elevator, running into a wedding party, speedy shopping…
Daisy’s refreshing posts filled with candour drew me to her. When you read them, the bubbly spirit of the soul behind the writing seeps out and she has a way of making me smile. She’s been a supportive presence in this space and I enjoy our witty banters.
Daisy dear, thank you for taking the time from your busy life to share more of you with us. I truly appreciate you and extend my warm regards.
Hi – I’m Daisy as I like to be called on my Blog. My real name can be found on my website. I love the daisy because like it, I have felt like a weed most of my life and like the daisy when it turns its face to the sun it blooms. I liken myself to the Daisy because I am 100% imperfect. I’ve done terrible things, some amazing things too. I’m human.
I have had a colourful life. I was born in South Africa and lived there until I was 18.
I am a French nationality, mixed with Russian and English and would liken myself to what I call ‘a pavement special’ or a mongrel. A good mix.
I have travelled a lot and lived in many different parts of the world. Miami, Marseille, Grenoble, England, Barcelona.
I am proud of my family. One of my aunts is from the Dominican Republic, another is Mexican and my cousin is married to a Chinese woman.
So, to say I was brought up in the Apartheid era, I can say that the government’s plan failed atrociously when it came to my family. Ha, Ha!
I love to socialise, write, connect, act, and write.
I am two months away from starting my Masters in Creative writing with the Open University. My aim is to become a creative writing specialist in the mental health sector.
Here is a video of me graduating with my BA (Hons) in Art and humanities in November 2015.
I do a lot of volunteering with different mental health charities. I love doing workshops to raise mental health awareness and reduce Stigma.
We all have mental health and are all subject to good and bad moments. I think people need to really wake up and face up to the fact that having mental health issues does not make you crazy.
It’s something I am passionate about.
I really love going to music gigs, festivals and the theatre, movies and I love drinking cocktails.
Unfortunately, I have not had much of a social life for the past 3 years – we were saving up for our wedding. This is my G and my beautiful daughter Bella Bee – (as I like to call her).
I love writing stage scripts. I think I have always been creative but I had a few issues and many people saw this vulnerability in me and I let people take advantage of me .
I started this blog because I am always up for a challenge. If someone tells me, I can’t do something or have something or someone even. 🙂 I have a damn good go at making it my goal to get it. I sound terrible. Yes, I can be but I do have a good heart. I wear mine on my sleeve.
It has taken me many years to realise I am a good person and not crazy or insane. I displayed “crazy” symptoms at an early age. I got involved in drugs, bad eating habits – I grew up way too fast and people judged me for it. I hear about people I used to know going through similar problems only now in their own lives.
It’s so easy to judge.
An example. In a place where I lived, there was a person who happened to dress as a woman. I do not know if he wanted to be a woman or just enjoyed it. It wasn’t my problem. It wasn’t a problem to me at all. People used to make fun of him. Take his pictures and put them on social media websites. It’s deplorable. I found out a bit about his background and it turned out his mother wanted a daughter but got him instead and forced him to act and dress as a girl.
So, I am one of those people with a lot of passion and drive and will stand up for the issues I am passionate about.
I remember way back in 20008/09 – I had just come out of an 8-month stint in an Eating disorder clinic.
I signed up to do a degree in acting performance. My confidence was way down in the gutter. People didn’t know how to take me. I know I had moments where I went manic and went on benders and was most certainly not stable- some people did try and reach out to help. I didn’t even know how to help myself. I got into a bad relationship.
Think: black, blue, purples, and yellows.
Lots of drinking and over-dosing to escape my situation. Arguments. Sexual boundaries blurred.
I had an abortion.
I then had my daughter Bella Bee and when I finally left the relationship – I got punished for it.
Long story short, social services got involved – I was fighting my ex and a draconian system to prove I could look after my child with support and some life-style changes. After 16 months, I won.
So, yeah – I am no innocent but then again not many people are. I think what bothers me the most is people who pick out vulnerable people to cover up their own insecurities.
The amount of secrets people have confided in me then make out as if I am less of a person because nobody knows their story. They are not my secrets to tell but don’t wonder why I react the way I do when someone I know acts like they have never done a wrong thing in their life and well…..Whatever, right.
Smell your own crap before pointing fingers at someone else. Some people are in a better place than others and others are not.
Life changes all the time. Nothing is fixed. The wheel is always turning.
I think I am a good person. I do shitty things, but mostly my heart is in the right place.
So , back to why I started this Blog. I was sick of whispers and finger pointing so I went public and said – I am this person who is awesome, has a life, a heart , a brain , goals –purpose and so what if I have mental health issues.
I was very passionate about sharing my experience of a 12-week course I had done with a volunteer charity – the program is called WRAP.
One year later (end of September 2016 ) and I will have done the training to be a WRAP group co-facilitator: ready to reveal and create a supportive and safe environment for other people to explore other ideas about how they might like to look at how they deal with their lives and issues.
I’ve been completely blown away by just the WordPress community. I can’t believe how much support and praise I get. I don’t get this from people I have known or even met in my life, yet a total stranger can read my story and read what I have to say and actually validate that, in a positive manner.
It has really given me a new perspective.
I used to think everything that went wrong was because of me.
That’s kind of egotistical –I mean –there is more than little old me in this world. I finally know that many people like to project their shit on to another person. I am not saying I haven’t done some messed up things. I’m the first to put my hand up when I do wrong.
Blogging has helped me see people differently. I am learning where and who to invest my emotional energy on and who is not significant. This is an ongoing process.
In the real world and the blogging world.
I –uh –am active in the WP community. I get to know people. I am learning that sometimes, there are only so many times I can reach out and if I get no reciprocation then I have to move on. There are only 24 hours in a day and life is short. Life is be lived.
I have found better-coping mechanisms over the last few years. There is a part of me who is impulsive and does want and does go out and seek out my chosen vices.
These moments –gladly are becoming less and less frequent as I grow as a person.
Yeah, what you see is what you get. Ha ha.
I don’t know what post links to share. My blogging content has evolved massively. I even write poetry now. Which is something I have never thought I could do – until a few months ago.
I’m very much a free flow writer… I don’t do a lot of prepping unless it is to do with writing a script or fiction but even them I think the less planning and the more doing is where the work and my best ideas and creativity are found.
I have said so much already…..
What is a typical day like for me?
I have my daughter and my Husband. I am very close to my Mom and my two Grans. My Gran is in the last stages of Vascular Dementia, I try and support my Mom as much as I can, even though it breaks my heart to see what this illness has done to my Gran and to my Mom.
I Blog, a lot of time goes into volunteering. Soon that will include lots more work with me studying again.
I think it is good to keep busy. Idle hands and all that … ha, ha!
I have a first born who happens to be a Bengal – here is Miss Tatiana
I do normal stuff, really. Nothing terribly exciting.
I was turned down for a writing job recently but I got some feedback so that helps.
In terms of what is next for me and Blogging or publishing something. I don’t know yet. I need to find some balance and time for myself too. I want to use my Blog in some way as a platform for what I do in volunteering, in the future, to help people.
I’ve published one short story (totally on impulse) at kindle. The First story of mine ever graded in uni and I was super proud.
Yeah… Lame, right. I know I am on a good path, right now. I’m enjoying the journey. The destination is moving forwards and bettering my life.
As I grow as a person –my idea of what is the “perfect” life may change. Happiness is the main goal –
That is it really. I have gone on for quite a bit.
Thanks Jackie for giving me this opportunity to share a bit more of myself with others.
It always seems impossible when I think about doing something and then I start writing /typing or doing whatever it is and all of a sudden I am at the finish line. I look back and I go” How the hell did get here? “
‘Always Look for the silver linings’ is one of my favourite quotes.
Below is a song I love to listen to when I feel despondent “Make believe by Nora Bayes.”
Many people tell me to become a life coach.
Ha ha! The skies the limit.
P.S: If you are interested in guest posting, send an email to JacquelineObyIkocha@gmail.com.
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One of the side effects of moving around so much is that a lot of times you find your heart in different places and you get nostalgic. Some days I wake up with severe pangs to find myself in Houston, France, Abuja or anywhere my heart wanders to.
This weekend, I have pangs to be in Lagos, my Lasgidi. I would probably be attending a wedding or one social event. There’s always something to celebrate even against all economic odds. The two photos are from weddings attended during my last visit in 2015.
It was the perfect wedding. The sun had shone just at the right proportion. The storybook garden where they shared their vows was dreamy. Everything was as it should be. Sublime.
Yet Cecilia felt some restlessness in her spirit. Helmut is a perfect match. Mother loved him very much and approved of him. Even her picky friends liked him well enough. They considered him the dashing, wealthy European.
Their marital vows felt like a constriction to her vocal chords. She shook off the inner voice and focused on the sizzle. She loves Helmut, he’s a passionate lover and even as every cell in her body screamed ‘don’t‘ she said I do.
It didn’t take a long time for her to realize that the marriage was a huge mistake.
Helmut’s perceived candour turned to blunt cruelty. His passion became an obsession. He smothered her to death.
Ah! Finally, the last day of photo 101. I believe I will miss this course, and I am glad that I survived it.
For several reasons, this month has been a hectic one for me and each day was really a case of mind over matter in order to get things done. A lot is left trailing behind and have to be attended to in this month of April.
I totally doff my cap to professional photographers that bring you the fabulous photos that you get to enjoy.
For today’s prompt ‘triumph and contrast’ my mind went to so many things. Music, little beginnings, and closures. For me, triumph comes from satisfaction over little things around me, such as getting my exercise done makes me dance and feel on top of things 🙂
I love Sunsets. They spell beautiful, serenity, closure, triumph and so much more.
The Sun sets, leaving wisps of orange and lavender ribbons across the blue tinted sky.
Anastasia leans on the rail of the promenade deck of the cruise-liner, her soft floral dress blowing in the breeze. Alastair’s muscular arms wrap around her, sharing his warmth in the gentle breeze.
It’s a beautiful day. Their wedding day.
A clear Autumn sky without a gloomy cloud in sight. The aisle and pews decorated with hues of Autumn, in orange gold, red and faded green; her best season of all.
She felt like a fairy princess floating down the aisle to a wedding march of soft tinkle of waterfall and chirping sounds of birds, accompanied by the choristers well modulated sweet rendition of their song. The wedding party was sublime. Everything! Picture perfect!
As the ocean-liner cuts through the waters to a blissful honeymoon, Alastair nuzzles and plants a soft kiss behind her ears. She wants the moments to last forever.