Tag Archive | Divorce

Keeping Your Mojo Throughout All Parenting Difficulties You Might Face

No one said raising children was easy. However, when your child looks at you and tells you they love you throughout your life, you know instinctually that raising children is worth it. However, that’s not to say the positive benefits of being a parent aren’t earned. They’re earned more than any life achievement could be. Climbing Mount Everest can look like a lounging nature trail walk compared to raising a human being to the best of your ability, and hoping they turn out sensibly, wise and happy.

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Part of being a great parent is keeping your ‘mojo’ levels up to the point where you can happily steer them through all the difficulties that occur through life. Mojo can be defined as your energy levels, your ability to be open, engaged and magnetic, the ability to go to sleep well and not have to worry too much about your day to day responsibilities because you’re confident you can complete them.

To someone lacking mojo, this can sound too good to be true, and impossible to keep up all the time. That’s true, there’s no way anyone can be happy all of the time, but they can certainly keep a good attitude most of the time.

Here’s how:

Make Time For Recreation

Recreation and taking a break, with or without your children is a big step on the road to sustaining your mojo. You have to keep updated with your social links, make time for silly entertainment, and allow yourself to be an utter goofball around your kids. It’s these moments that make all the ‘admin’ of life worth living, so be sure to keep them numerous.

Release The Burdens On Your Mind

Over time, unfulfilled obligations or life stresses take their toll on your mind, and a low-level feeling of despair can gestate within you because of this. Be sure to try alternative methods around these issues.

For example, if you’re getting divorced, you might like to try divorce by meditation to cool the entire emotionally-charged process. If you have difficulties with your children’s behavior at school, you might like to try and get to the source and root of the issue by visiting child behavioral therapists, as opposed to scolding them and hoping that works. Parenthood is never easy, but it’s twice as difficult with a heavy mind.

Eat Healthily

Eating a healthy diet is an absolute must when fulfilling a job so demanding as being a parent. Your children can take all energetic reserves out of you by the end of the day, and if you’re not giving your body all of the nutrients it deserves, you’re likely to crash sooner rather than later. Be sure to stay on top of healthy eating habits, and you’ll find an extra reserve of energy you never knew you could access.

Parenthood is the hardest job among jobs. Even trained and battle-hardened soldiers will shudder at the thought of raising another human being successful. If you’re doing a relatively good job, well done you! You deserve to be remembered as an incredible parent. Just be sure to stay on top of your health, mentally, physically and spiritually. In doing so, you’ll become an even better figurehead of the family. Good luck!

You’ve Got To Meet My Beautiful and Graceful Friend Annie Roo.

Let me introduce you to my engaging, warm and beautiful blogger friend Roo.  She’s been a supportive presence in this space and without too much said, reading her own in-depth and candid words below, you’ll enjoy this priceless interaction.

Annie Roo, thank you for taking the time from a busy life to share more of you with us. I truly appreciate you and extend my warm regards. Jacqueline

My given name is practically a biography, so I prefer my pen name. E.V.A. Lambert is an acronym of my life’s most influential people. To friends, siblings and my younger family members I’m Annie Roo; Roo for short, but that’s another story.car jinks

Go Cubs, Go: I was born at a very young age into a rather nomadic, Anglo-Celtic, Chicago suburbs family, complete with eccentricities and most common dysfunctions. I’m now a great-grandmother and I’ve lived all over the U.S.

Can I say something here? I don’t understand why women say they’re younger than they are. When asked my digits I typically say, “I think I’m doing great for 75.” I’m not even close – yet, but saying that feels great for a few moments. Culpability is on the inquirer. Anyway, aside from some dings telling me when rain’s coming I’m vital and young on the inside.

I was already a mother of my four sons before I was 22 – one with special needs, but nobody could guess which one today. Divorced while the boys were in grade school, their dad did me a solid replacing me with a younger model, so we all got through it – mostly together. Without any other monetary support, I took care of myself, my sons and helped my siblings and our mother as best I could.760401 CnJ L boys

I’m the estranged wife of my life’s love, a crazy-gifted misfit musician, emphasis on the crazy. Starving artists the past thirty years, I now live a very full, pleasantly modest and green lifestyle on Colorado’s Western Slope with my life-long best friend. Life’s all about setting priorities and making choices.

As my five siblings can attest, “just to spite several bullies and straight-up perverts,” we overcame significant tragedy, abuse, hardships and for me, some mental disorders (yes, plural). In my early thirties, a heart attack got my undivided attention. Days prior, I had given my life and subsequently my heart to Jesus Christ. Don’t think the sequence didn’t confuse me! Seriously, blind ambition, heartache, stress (compounded by cocaine, excessive alcohol, my job) and so many prior bad choices should have killed me before then. I not only realized I actually wasn’t Wonder Woman, but clearly God had plans for me.

Days out of the hospital I quit my high 5-figure income job. I was determined to write my already amazing stories. At the time my boys were sure I’d lost it. I wondered too, but in hindsight, I see I’d actually found myself.

Writing stories by kindergarten, my 9th grade English teacher thrilled me by publishing my term essay in my high school newspaper. Seeing my brain child, the best part of me in print snared me. Writing became my favorite occupation. I was always obsessive about grammar, but now isn’t it amazing how quickly we get past that as we make friends around the world in the blogosphere?CO 1

Early on I published in local periodicals. Among my first publications was as a contributing author for Eva Marie Emerson. Along the way I have picked up copy writing for food and gasoline; happy to do what I can, wherever I am and if I get paid for it, great! My calling and passion is to write my stories well, not only for my family’s sake (to help them see why life sometimes goes slightly sideways) but also to help other mental illness and abuse survivors.

Contributing to a journalist/author friend’s blog, she urged me to blog independently. I launched my first blog in 2004 mostly as a journal. I also keyed out chapters and queries for what I was certain would make me today’s Jane Austen. We’ll see hroo n bronzeow that works out.roo bird use

During three more moves across three more states, I realized nobody seemed to notice my Facebook Notes – not even close friends. Facebook users typically aren’t ardent readers. Undaunted I dove into the deep end of WordPress. I launched What’s Next on my target date, 9/11 of 2014.

During my first WordPress Blogging U course, I met other newbie bloggers including the fantastic Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha, and other gifted writers, poets, and photographers. Even with the amazingly supportive Blogging Community and Blogging U courses, I couldn’t learn fast enough for my liking.

What’s Next met my target goal of 100 followers well within the first year and I’m growing right along with The Blogging Community. I have much to learn – always will, but I’m actually having the time of my life!

I enjoy promoting other great bloggers, sharing other blogs, and am keen on changing my theme – as soon as I upgrade my site. I’m determined to link in a Twitter account and add a Contributing Authors section. As always I’ll continue to submit chapters and queries as I blog the good, the bad and the beautiful in my world.roo glasses

No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” Matthew 5:15, 16 (NLT)


P.S: If you are interested in guest posting, send an email to JacquelineObyIkocha@gmail.com.

The successor…

Jack sat in the deep leather armchair to ruminate over the surprising news. His mind dwelling on bittersweet memories as he remembered his dad.

Faint aroma of tobacco from Woolfe’s pipe clung to the room as if unwilling to let go, even though he has been dead for three months now and unbidden tears seeped through Jack’s eyes.

His dad had been his best friend and hero until Suzie happened to them. Suzie was Woolfe’s secretary.

An affair happened, Suzie got pregnant, Jack’s mother got mad, a messy divorce took place that when his mother died a year later in an accident, Jack was sure she had died from a bitter and broken heart. She had driven off the cliff after binge-drinking and life was never the same.

Suzie’s pinched lips and surprised look on her botoxed face expressed displeasure when the Will was read. The reins of the successful firm were meant for her son Woolfe Jnr and possibly a meagre share left to Jack, instead, eighty percent of the holdings went to Jack while they got twenty.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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Thank you, TJ Paris,  for the photo and Priceless Joy for hosting this charming platform where we unleash our stories:-)


Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

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‘A Richly Layered and Passionate Read.’ Jan Cliff

Out of the silent breath

If you enjoy my works and would like to do so, you can fuel my creativity with a slice of cake or coffee 😉

Love In A Hopeless Place….a short story

The scented candles are down to a nub. His favorite casserole is cold and the soufflé has fallen flat.

She looks at the phone for the umpteenth time. Not a buzz. As the minutes tick slowly, the wait becomes unbearable. She knows that it would be another no-show. Another empty promise broken, another lie told and a birthday ruined.

She feels angry frustration for falling in love in a hopeless place. He has been stringing her along all these past year with his sweet tongue.

If she is honest to herself, she knows that he is a consummate liar.

He claims not be in love with his Missus any longer yet Fiorina’s recent findings is that Missus is heavy with the 3rd child.

Enough! I am worth more than this! Emptying the wine glass, she adjusts the zip of the gorgeous red evening gown; a gift from him.

NO more! She said as she slashed it into jagged strips!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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In response to the FFfAW photo prompt above. Thank you Priceless Joy for this challenge platform.

To Have and To Hold…. a short story.

wedding gownI am not sure of what I am doing, but it feels right and beautiful. I am scared that I would fail and things would not work out well, but I choose to face my fear and brave it. After all, I love Will and I feel that our love is enough.

Twirling before the ornate looking glass at the Wedding bells store – the only one that could be found for miles around in our small town, I am pleased with the image that stares back at me.

The dress is delicately gorgeous. I love the way it clings to all the right parts and accentuates my hour glass shape. It is even amplified around the upper chambers. The cleavage is cut in such a way that it creates a mirage of more bosomness, where that is non-existent.

I lack Joleen’s and Ma’s capacious specifications. It flows down , hitting the floor in a soft frilly fall of French lace. I know that this is the dress for me.

Ma’s nose is red from crying and blowing it. The fitting lady thinks that her tears are from mere joy of seeing her daughter try on wedding gowns for forthcoming nuptials. In Ma’s own way, I know that she is very happy to see me getting married to Will; Will is a fine and well-mannered lad. Not that scapegrace Jake who broke my heart and only rekindled his interest when he saw that I was getting along with Will.

For a moment, I was almost fooled and persuaded to take him back. He gave me a wicked thrill but treated me with such disrespect that I knew that the thrill would lose its appeal in the long run and problem drag me down a long winding road of regret. He was like a bad habit that was difficult to break.

Catching him making out with Lucinda was the jolt that I needed to get my head straightened out, even though he blamed it on the drink, I was done!

I know Ma’s tears partially stems from her feeling that she is losing an ally. I stand as a buffer between her and my father’s punches. Why she has stayed and taken it all, is an answer that I have never figured out? I keep hoping that one day, he won’t get so deep into his cups and kill her, more especially since no one would be around to support Ma.

My sister Joleen ran off at seventeen with a trucker who had more brawn than sense. She has passed through husband number 2 and on the prowl for number 3. She is in town for my wedding shindig, even though she has spent most of her stay getting up to no good. She couldn’t even come to the wedding store with us – bleary eyed and sleeping off her last nights carousel.

Kev O’Reilly’s wife Maybelle is on a war-path. Joleen has been blinking her baby blue eyes and extra long lashes; with some tips of fakes, at Kev. Giving him an insiders view of her ample bosom. I see his Adam’s apple bob up and down in a quick swallow and the glazed look that appears in his eyes whenever Joleen is around and flirting with him.

The O’Reilly’s have wealth to their name and Joleen is hell bent on the fact that husband number 3 would have a well lined deep pocket and some class too. She was tired of traipsing around the big ole country with a truck for a home.

Joleen is very pretty and Maybelle – Kev’s wife is not! She is…homely! Yes! That is the word.

I sigh over these thoughts as I hear alarm bells tinkle in my mind. I feel disaster coming along!

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In fulfillment of Writing 101 – Day 15 Assignment: Take a Cue From Your Readers. In the opinion poll that I placed, most of the vote were cast in favour of fiction, so I wrote this!

Thank you for reading and kind regards.

Image credit: Weddingideas.com