Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Personal story · The Daily Post

One Of Those Bosses Who Loved To Drive One Crazy…personal

In the earlier days of my 9 to 5 working life, I held a vital position in a multinational company, with a very special kind of boss, the word special used for want of another adjective.

He was nothing short of a slave-driver whose primary goal in life was to push his subordinates to the tethers of their limits until their elasticity broke it’s bounds. I think a lot of us went to bed, dreaming of a thousand different ways to kill a boss 😉

One particular occasion that comes easily to my mind, was when we hosted the West and Central Africa Top Team Leaders Convention and Team building program, when I was right in the thick of planning these affairs.

This program involved almost two hundred team leads flying in from so many parts of Africa as well as the United Kingdom. Since my ex-boss was the Top Team lead for our operational unit and as his special assistant, guess who had the responsibility to organize a perfect program down to the fine details of it, meanwhile, it was taking place in Abuja and not Lagos where my office was.

From sorting out hundreds of letters for visas, to airport pick-ups and security details, hotel accommodation, printing of programs, gift items, commissioning Tee-shirts with peoples specifics and other special Nigerian outfits, I had to fly to Abuja every few days to iron out arrangements of so many fine details of things….it was one hectic time and the program was made sweeter by some adults who got ill, a few managed to miss their flights, one got drunk and misplaced his international passport and all sent me into a tizzy.

Meanwhile, during the preparation of the convention, as incredible as it might sound, dear yours faithful and special boss took some vacation time to the UK and left me to wade alone in the entire matter. Mercifully, I had a colleague in Abuja who assisted in tying up some loose ends at that side to save me having to fly down every other day.

Certain things that needed approval from him, I had to give the go-ahead because getting him to approve stuff from UK was a major feat in itself.

The annoying part was that he flew in from London directly to the program, only to start pointing at what was not perfect from his point of view.

As a matter of fact he got so annoying, when he requested that I should take the last flight from Abuja to Lagos to get the printers to redo the program which was not the exact shade of blue of the up-country operations unit and I was expected to get it fixed and to take the red-eye back to the program the following day.

I was livid and had to go to the Area Director who was his boss from London. It was such a sweet moment when the AD nicely reminded him that everything had been handled by me, while he was off on a merry jaunt and confirmed that we could use the programs as they were.

Anyway, it was a whale of a job working with him. Somehow, I endured, thrived and I came away learning so much. It simply made me stronger, smarter and expanded the scope of my events coordination capabilities and looking back now, I realize that his actions were possibly due to the fact that he had garnered enough trust in me to leave me in charge of certain things.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha.

The Daily Post Sink or Swim.

Tell us about a time when you were left on your own, to fend for yourself in an overwhelming situation — on the job, at home, at school. What was the outcome?

Personal story · The Daily Post · Weave that Dream

I Got It Done!…

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I can be very fastidious about accomplishing things that I set out to do and when I don’t achieve them, it leaves me with a great sense of failing in the promises that I made for myself.

When I was single it was far easier to achieve certain goals, but with a family to take care of, the scales balance tilts a bit and it requires far more focus and stringent discipline to achieve new goals.

Some years back, I set a target to get back to my pre-birth size 10 from size 16 and I gave it my all, that within 6 months, I had achieved my target size, but I got pregnant again and piled the weight back on – though I lost the pregnancy and since then I haven’t put as much zeal as I did in getting my shape back.

Last year, January, starting a blog was one of the things I wanted to achieve. By the end of first quarter, I realized that I was behind and one fine morning, I woke up and just jumped in. I had grown tired of overthinking it. I decided to ride through the rough patches as I go and that is precisely what I am doing.

I also finished one of the books that I am working. I got it done by the skin of my teeth in December. I am just going to catch my breath, then get down to editing and see what the next step will be.

This year, like the year before last, I have chosen to view my goals as my life solutions instead of resolutions and you can find out why over here.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post Resolved.

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution that you kept?

Dubai · Gratitude · Life · Personal story

They All Work Together…

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In my native language, we have a saying that ‘if I start to count the goodness of the Lord, night will come and the day will break over and over again.’

They may sound like mundane stuff but in my heart they speak of the abundance of God’s grace.

There were very trying moments of 2015 for me and my family, but one big lesson that I learnt and would continue to carry over is that being thankful and committing my prayers to my Lord and Master eases my burden for sure.

This time last year, I was ensconced in my lovely house back in Houston. No way on my radar did the move to Dubai really feature.

Like the saying that, tomorrow is pregnant and backing a child as well, by the second quarter of 2015, we made a major migratory move across the Continent from US to UAE and I am grateful that it went smoothly.

I am grateful that we have adjusted to our beautiful environment and embracing it as well. It has not been a seamless effort, but since I chose to look at the rickety parts of the bigger picture with positive lens, it has made the journey more interesting and adjusting far easier.

I look at 2016 with expectant eyes. I have no idea what it will bring forth, who knows?

There might be major changes yet again or minor ones but this I know for sure ”that all things work together for my own good.” 

Have you taken a look at your big picture lately? What do the lines tell you? You might be surprised to realize that as displaced as some of your lines may be, they fall in perfect places and that is enough reason to be thankful.

You can join Colline’s  or Maria Jansson gratitude challenge platforms.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

Reading Drivel…personal

Consistent habits can become defined and after a while forms our characters.

Sometimes in these character mix we find certain habits picked up, which are not only unsavoury, but serve no meaningful purpose whatsoever.

I have my own fair share of habits that I am still trying to let go of, so that I can have room for more positive growth in my life.

Recently, one major challenge has been late night nibbles. Sometimes, I can go for weeks without doing so, then something goes off somewhere and I am back to a frantic bout of the nibbles. A big work in progress here.

However, one of such habits that I have been successful with, was my abrupt decision to stop reading books that I have no better words to describe them other than calling them licentious, x-rated pornography in literature, the only thing they lacked were depicting coloured pictures to match their words.

No, they were not good old fashioned romantic reads, nor what some would describe as soft porn, they were vile, page after page harsh content of lewdness and gross sex, which actually had the reverse effect of offensive for me and I was left wondering how someone could sit down to write a hundred and something pages of utter rubbish.

My curiosity was sated, my conscience was annoyed with me, no particularly worthy knowledge was gained from such dalliance on my part except some vibrant imaginations that were unfortunately painted on some part of my brain cells and it was not a regret to dump reading such drivel by the wayside.

I pencil the past readings down as research, but my money will not go to fund such further waste of my time.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post Happy Endings

Tell us about something you’ve tried to quit. Did you go cold turkey, or for gradual change? Did it stick?

Family · Hope · Life · Love · Personal story

But I Wanted A White Christmas!…personal

 

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Every Christmas time finds me reminiscing over beautiful memories of childhood Christmastime’s spent with my parents. Those were the naive and innocent days of my life.

As children we associated Christmas with the arrival of the sharp cold, dusty weather of Harmattan which changed the air with its peculiar smell of red clay dust.

The frenzy of Christmas preparations started a bit early with mummy taking us to the tailor for measurements of new dresses or if her pockets had extra jingles, purchases of all-ready-made to wear clothes would be the thing.

She did this early enough so that ‘Nwanyi Bacha’ our favourite family tailor would have them all ready before the frantic rush from last minute customers. Other purchases were equally made as early as possible to save a few Naira’s ahead of the hiking of price in goods. In Nigeria, we didn’t have sales back then. We had price hikes.

The purchase of several Cockerels would be done and we would spend the following weeks fattening them up with ground chicken feed, while the poor things pecked away and waited to be slaughtered, plucked and eaten with the numerous dishes that would circulate over the holidays.

The smell of vanilla and nutmeg became a constant aroma in the house. Tins and tins of Chin-chin were fried to entertain guests who would surely come calling when we got to the village and an assortment of Christmas carols played non-stop.

But we had no White Christmas and I wanted a snowy white Christmas. The television’s had been showing foreign movies of snow and Santa sneaking down the chimney’s to drop gifts in socks.

The University children’s staff party was held and our neighbourly dark-faced Santa whom we fondly called ‘Father Christmas’ was always kitted out with a cotton wool beard, eyebrows, chalky hair and fluffy stuffing to expand his girth.

He handed out the little gifts as we lined up in neat rows to meet him and we secretly whispered knowingly to each other… ”I think it’s Chikpe’s daddy…he must have gone to North Pole to collect our gifts.”

Hedges were decorated with twinkly lights and there was so much gaiety in the air.

….But we didn’t have white Christmas.

Then the traveling to the village. It was almost always a mass exodus. Leaving the townships to the villages during festive periods was a norm.

For miles, the roads would be clogged with full vehicles snaking through the narrow winding roads of Nsukka express up to the 9th mile, where there was always a traditional log jam that lasted for hours as people drove crazily, and a road that was meant to be a two-lane road, somehow turned into a five or six or how ever many lane road.

The cheerful hawkers were happy about the jams. They did brisk business; excitedly shouting their wares on top of their voices..Bread, Bread, your fresh bread here. Groundnut, even live Chicken were hawked in the traffic.

Our Renault was always loaded down to the hilt. Bags of Rice, fattened Cockerels, tins of chin-chin, luggage, crates of soft drinks and so many things.

Getting to the village and meeting the grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins, clans men and women were moments not to be forgotten. The older ones practically twirled you around, exclaiming, oohing and aahing over how tall you have grown, how this or that and beaming with fond smiles.

The cool village nights were filled with sounds of the power plant droning in the background, of children’s laughter and playful voices as we gathered in front of Grandpa’s frontage and enjoyed a mix of scary, ghostly folktales, riddles and jokes. The constant chirp of the Cricket and the deep croaking of the Frogs, with Fireflies that flitted past every few minutes, all made the inky darkness of the night much more mysterious.

Now and again, we would catch sight of a torch or winking lamp bobbing up and down from afar as its owner walked the dark, trodden village path and we would all shriek and run into grandpa’s house.

But we still didn’t have any White Christmas!

Christmas dawn met everyone excited and well dressed. Somehow, Father Christmas, had managed to visit in the wee hours of the morning and left little gifts for us. It couldn’t have been easy doing those rounds across Continents and villages, but he did come and fulfilled his promises. Quite the lovely man, our Father Christmas.

The morning Harmattan’s dew would still be hanging in the crisp air, as we enjoyed hot cups of beverage and thick slices of bread, butter and eggs before trooping into the available cars to go to Church. We sometimes had to sit on each others lap or the car would make several rounds to ferry everyone to Church, since some relatives did not own cars.

The Christmas mass was always too joyous and merry to be solemn. We ardently admired our winking new trinkets, shiny shoes, dresses and oily plastered hair, which had been stretched or should I say fried out with hot sizzling stretching combs that had been heated over the stove.

Slow merry gyrating to the altar and back with new pennies for offering, our beaming brown faces followed our dazzling mothers, who were bedecked in the latest George or Hollandaise wrappers and flamboyant head gears that made them look so outstanding. The Priests in their pristine white, stood with the altar boys and the special containers of holy water were sprinkled liberally on all and sundry.

Our feast was the sharing of delicious, sumptuous food. Copious plates of Jollof or fried rice, pounded yam, cake, chin-chin, drinks, pepper-soup; we ate until our small tummies were thoroughly rounded out with food.

These things were done in stages and the icing to the cake of Christmas tidings was the outing ”to see the masquerades.” The event of seeing the masquerades is tradition at it’s finest. A treat in a first-class of its own.  The vibrant and sometimes scary masquerades would give chase and the adrenaline of pumping hearts and legs as we scampered for safety were recounted over and over.

As I grew older and watched my mother go through the yearly Christmas preparation, the selfless cooking and taking big basins of warm food to the local prisons for the prisoners, the giving of food items to the less privileged around her, I came to realize that the joy of Christmas was not based on the whiteness of its snow, or the brown dust of its Harmattan, but the deep feeling of family, of joy, of sharing, of love, of charity, of peace and purpose that lay in the hearts of all those who believed.

Merry Christmas My Dear Friends. Glad Tidings To You And Yours.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Life · Personal story · Quotes For You · Weave that Dream · Writing

If Tomorrow Comes…personal

Recently, I had a chat with a friend and we spoke about passion. Since we had that chat, I have been mulling over bits and pieces of our conversation and chewing on the fat of things.Chase the vision

During our chat, she did not out-rightly deride my passion about writing and public speaking, but in her opinion, she thinks that it should be classified as a hobby, since I was not yet making pots of money from either.

In her eyes, I was not yet a serious writer because there is no World acclaimed bestseller title under my belt.

As far as she is concerned, I am writing just for the pleasure of writing. At this point I had my tongue in my cheek trying to rein myself in from saying the first thought that fleeted through my mind, which was @#$#$%$##%!

Calmly, I asked her how much pleasure she was deriving from her work?

If she was that ecstatic about it, why is it that she moans over her job every time we speak, wishing she had the funds to take a bold step away from the rat race bandwagon.

She had wished over a 1,000 times that she had the guts to pursue her desires to own an events management outfit, but like I had equally given myself the leeway of excuses in the past, she had a million reasons why she couldn’t get started in that direction.

I asked her what her plans were in the immediate, interim and long term, towards achieving her goal, but to my surprise, she had made absolutely no concrete plans in the realization of her dreams.

.And she calls me a dreamer!

Her hope is that tomorrow will come armed with all that she would require to achieve her dreams and build her castles in the passing wind.

I told her that ”Tomorrow will never come if we don’t get hold of today!”

I now cheekily told her that I am absolutely pleased with what I am doing at the moment and though I did not give her a detailed breakdown, I drew a sketchy idea of my writing prospects and aspirations which I believe will come to pass even if it delays.

In the meantime, I told her that I was willing to make certain sacrifices to achieve my dreams, since I had also learnt that some of the material expenses which we load on ourselves were absolutely unnecessary. We can live very well without some of these things for as long as is necessary.

I have heard tales and jokes of hungry artists/writers. I have heard about all the hard mental work endured for passion in return of peanuts.

Then again, I have heard and have experienced first hand, the irrefutable, bone deep pleasure that a true writer derives from answering their call and I then realize the true meaning of the morbid African proverb which says that”we cannot because of the fear of death avoid going to war, if that war means that we get to live the life that we deserve.”

In some ways, she was right that I am not yet making anything out of my vision and dreams.

Now, it is time to write the vision, take the vision and run with it.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

Staring Into The Barrel Of A Gun…personal

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Lagos toughens you up! When I talk about Grace and Mercy watching out for me, it is with the deepest conviction of my heart.

I have been through so many scary moments, that some day’s when I look at myself with all my appendages intact, I know that it is not sheer luck.

‘That my life is a testimony.”

My guardian angel has been on full time duty!

If you have lived in Lagos and did not experience one or two hairy-scary moments in your life, then as a matter of compulsion, you have to do Thanksgiving.

It is a bustling, heavily populated, quirky and awesomely crazy city that busts at it seams with rich culture and entertainment.

The commercial nerve center of Nigeria.

As a Lasgidi babe; once a Lagos chic, always a Lagos chic, I love my Lagos to bits, but I also detest a good number of things about it.

To cut a long story short, back in the days when daylight robbery was almost a norm, I was mugged 3 different times at 3 different locations and in the same city by the  one’s that are called ” Area boys.”

Secondly, I have faced the barrel of a shotgun of the ‘men of the underworld’ aka highway robbers, 3 consecutive times.

Once was during the wee hours of the morning when they came calling, the next time was on the high street in my car and yet again, shortly before Christmas just as I left a bank.

It scared the jeepers out of my life. My skin flew off my bones in fright and in the last incident for the first time, I was violently ill and experienced an unbelievable migraine. Nightmares ensued and I fled to Europe for several weeks to calm my nerves.

Several months following these incidents, when a stranger came too close, I would practically jump out of my skin, my knees would get all trembly and my pulse rate would simply get erratic.

Indeed, when I look back and think of the times that I stared death in the face, I marvel. One day, I shall write a comprehensive story of these moments.

The rampage in Lagos has gone down over the years.

The robberies are of a more sophisticated nature these days, but there was a season when the men of the underworld reigned supreme!

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt Safety First.

Share the story of a time you felt unsafe.

Blogging · Personal story · Quotes For You

Blogging Dividends…personal

The measurement of success varies from one individual to the other and for me, mine is measured by the amount of positive pleasure that is derived in the pursuit of my passion.Dividend

For a whole lot, their success may only be cached on how much money is lining their pockets and if that is the case, then that deep satisfaction and contentment that comes from the unquantified simple things of life will continue to remain elusive in the never-ending need to make an extra buck.

Even though it’s a fact that one must earn a living however, one’s success should not only be determined by the yardsticks of the greenback.

The past fortnight have been such bloggisatisfying time for me that I kept going to bed each night with a wide smile pasted on my face.

It first started with Ben Huberman sending me a very polite and surprising mail inviting me to participate in contributing a theme/prompt for the just concluded poetry class and believe me when I say that my heart expanded in extra warmth.

I had not planned to take the class initially, but I am so delighted that I did and yes, I feel proud to have had my prompt chosen and even if such an opportunity never arises again, this was a big bolster for me, so I am preening. Thank you.

Then Carlos a darling blogger sent me a surprise letter which brought tears to eyes and my heart expanded some more.

In no way did I know that those little words that I kept sharing with him had such meaningful impact enough to warrant taking the time to write me a special letter.

This totally reminds me of these quotes: “Encouragement is said to be the oxygen for the human spirit. Do not forget you are carrying someone’s air with you. Encourage them. Help them breathe” – anonymous.

”Make someone smile whenever you can. You never know how much of a difference you could be making in their life at that moment.”

It’s me Saraa topped my weeks sweetness with her own ration of surprise sprinkles and I continued to smile.

And to complete my harvest of smiles, few weeks ago at the neighbourhood cafe, I met Lara, a lovely, smiley Filipino lady with whom I had a brief chat when I was busy scribbling and tapping away seriously on my laptop.

She struck a conversation asking me what I was working so intently on. I told her that it was my blog and she requested for the name, which I scribbled on a scrap of paper and gave to her.

Believe me when I say that I never thought that she would even bother. I just thought that she was being polite and that the scrap of paper would be lost even before the ink dried.

Well, I ran into her once again today and with smiles dotting her entire face she walked up to me and said Miss Jacqueline, I have been reading your blog.

You write and rhyme so well. I enjoy reading your blog in the evening. I am following you now and sent you an FB request.

I quickly checked my FB request status which has close to 200 or more requests yet to be answered *covering my face* and I accepted her request right there and then, but I simply felt like I had won some pretty penny.

We chit-chatted some more and I think I hummed back to my house or should I say tweeted back to my house in utter pleasure.

There you have it. I have seen a lot of magic and earned a lot of satisfaction this week. A good evening to you from Dubai.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Personal story · The Daily Post

For Sanity’s Sake…

I have always felt that evenings are meant for kicking back and relaxing after a days hectic job, either with family, doing what families do; eat, talk, laugh, squabble, watch TV, do homework etc.Night owl

I would rather close my day reading a good book, or browsing the dailies and just talking off my husbands ears with tidbits of the news.

I also enjoy the quiet time of going through my mailbox or lazily catching up with the blogs, with the sounds of my household in the background.

On days that I feel like stepping out for the night, we could just take a leisurely drive through town, grab a pizza or watch a movie with pop-corn and all the works.

I simply cherish my evenings and due to that, I prefer to do my work in the mornings; bright and early, I am ticking to go and by evening time, I am mentally not in the mood to burn.

The downside with that is that what I cannot get done with by 7pm, gets shoved over to the next day.

It does not escape my mind that there are some whose livelihoods revolve around night jobs.

I truly cannot fathom how they do it, year after year without turning into grumps.

I would go bonkers and probably turn into an ogress – QED.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt Because the night.

Are you a night owl or are you the early bird? What’s your most productive time of day? When do you do your best work?

Family · Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

When They Came Calling…

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My growing years was in a community where visitors didn’t need to announce their intentions before paying a call. It was simply the way it was.

It was normal to see hundreds of honorary aunties and uncles floating through the doors of my parents house and my parents returned the same courtesy.

Ours was a calm, intellectual and laid-back University community where the evenings after work were spent by the gentlemen at the staff club or folks visiting each other.

They would talk and eager laughter would echo through the house while they ate garden eggs and alligator pepper. Bottles of beer accompanied these relaxing moments and they recounted their tales.

I grew up with extended family drifting in and out of our home and it was likewise in so many other homes that I knew. As a matter of fact, some extended family members were permanent members of the household.

Meals were always prepared in extra quantities so that unanticipated guests would have a warm plate of rice or whatever was available; and it was always enough.

It didn’t matter how tight the house was, there was always room for one more and it was almost tantamount to an abomination for your folks to have to make a special request before they could come calling.

That was the mentality of hospitality back then, but times are certainly changing.

However, it was still such a pleasure that when I went home in August, visitors were still floating in and out to see my mother and I am certainly grateful for them being there and helping to take her mind off things.

So, assuming that I come home and see a strange couple in my house eating a slice of cake in my living room, my primary concern would be to find out if they are menacing, especially since they are unknown.

How did they get in? Are my family okay and not under duress?

As long as everything is as it should be and that they didn’t break into my home, but were let in quietly, I will then settle down to know who they are and why they came calling.

Maybe they are just the new neighbours who came by to get acquainted and my husband is being very magnanimous with my freshly baked cake and my inquisitive self would love to get to know them a bit better.

You never know what story may be lurking in there in their midst.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt unexpected guests.

You walk into your home to find a couple you don’t know sitting in your living room, eating a slice of cake. Tell us what happens next.