Category: Guest Posts

Guest Posts

Chatting and Connecting with Susie.

jacquelineobyikocha8 Comments

The first thing that drew my attention to Susie when I started blogging and during blogging 101 course which seems like eons ago is her consistent contribution and suggestions to a discussion. I find her frank talk refreshing and being in the business of trying to understand a personality through their words, I was drawn to her.

If my perception is not wrong, I would describe Susie as a gentle, conscientious, kind and tolerant woman.

Please read 🙂

 

Cat in a box
Sunshine in one of our travel suitcases, that he loves.

A bit about me.

I am a 47-year-old woman, with a June birthday. I am a Syrian Christian by birth. I belong to the southern part of India. I come from a very loving background with caring, nurturing and guiding parents, who tried their best to instill Christian virtues in me. I went to a school that emphasized old-time values like love for one’s country, patriotism, helping others without care for who they were, and standing up for what was right. After school I went to a Medical School that had Christian values written all over it- this played a great role in my selection of this particular school for my higher education.

It was the first time I had stayed away from home and my parents. I was shocked beyond reprieve that the Christian values of care, love, putting others beyond self, helping one another, unity and patience were far from the real life of the people at the college. I went into an emotional and personal crisis at this stage. From being an A level student, I went to the bottom rungs of the academic ladder. Around this time, I lost belief in God and in my religion.

I wondered and pondered over a God that allowed all the atrocities that went on in the college in the name of Christianity. Injustice and blatant human right abuse abounded there. A system of ragging prevailed,  that went to the heart and soul of a newcomer or a freshman to the college, which in many cases served to shatter the person from within. Being me, I protested openly against this and this made me hugely unpopular. A reign of terror was unleashed at me and I was made to feel hugely uncomfortable during my college life. Needless to say, I did not enjoy my college life.

It was divine intervention that helped me and kept me safe during this time and kept me away from the various vices a person could fall into while away from parental scrutiny. I survived and passed to become a doctor. A year after passing out, I married a man, who by some strange coincidence was from the same college. My marriage was a surprise to many of the naysayers in my college life as my husband was one of the most desirable bachelors of that college and I the least but again God brought us together. Over the years my faith in God has grown and I have come back to the fold like the lost sheep or the prodigal son.

I love writing. I have come to learn that I love listening to people. I can be a talker when I wish but I think I enjoy listening more and analyzing people and their thoughts and deeds. Most of these analyses lead me to life stories that I blog about. I guess I am an introvert.
I dislike two facedness. I am judgmental so am quick to find out if someone is not what he/she says he/she is.
I try to be a nurturer and love my two children very much. I am a dog lover by heart but the Good Lord has put so many cats in my life that I have lost count. I have come to believe that he really loves a good chuckle at my expense 🙂

The purpose of my blog.

At a low point in my life, about three years ago, I quit a job in Medical Research again because I didn’t believe in the work ethics of the place I was working at. I decided to move on, leaving a very respected job. For about a year and a half, I was unemployed and the object of a lot of ridicule. In an attempt to earn some money, I decided to do so by writing.
During this writing journey, I learned further that if one had a blog, writing jobs came easier. I didn’t land any major writing jobs but I got a blog and a lot of blog friends, many of whom are keepers. My blog is about my life. I have almost half a century of life lived behind me – perhaps I can be of good to some soul who has gone through issues like me and is hoping for a friendly listening ear.
I started this blog in order to write but became a reader and a listener by turn. So the objectives of my blog have done a U-turn now from when I started. When I started blogging, it was all about me and promoting myself. These days, it is more about being a listener and helping others, if that is possible. It seems to me that my blog is more about others now than myself.
I like the blogging world a lot except when it airs the political opinions of people who often don’t agree with my political thinking. When it gets beyond a limit, I stop reading their blogs. But otherwise, blogging has been a wonderful experience to me.
Links to some of my favorite posts:

How I stay motivated.

To be honest, I don’t motivate myself at all. I go for days without writing and then there is a deluge of writing with more silence. I like writing when I feel the whim and not when I am forced to do so. During moments of silence, I read others blogs and get inspiration from them, sometimes commenting on their posts that touched my heart or pulled a string somewhere in my being. Often times, these posts serve as inspiration for my own future posts. I have a long memory and so I have plenty of feed to write about inside my own head.

My Blogging Challenges.

I would say, not being able to express myself to my fullness, with absolute freedom for my words and my creativity. I am a little worried and scared about whether people I know and work with or live with will come to know of my blog and my blog opinions. So my blog posts will often be tempered down from what they actually should be. In the process, I have learnt diplomacy but perhaps lost out on some of my innate honesty.

My Word For Others.

Yes, I would surely encourage people to blog and especially if you are going through a personal crisis being a blogger certainly helps when you are down in the dumps. There are so many people out there, who are going through pain just like you and maybe more than you. Perhaps you can be a comfort to them and they, to you.
I would tell new time bloggers to keep writing, small posts frequently, till you reach that place where you can be a model of writing to others. So practice writing as often as your heart tells you. Also, I feel that one needs to write if one feels the urge and not when one feels that one has to join a group of people to belong to a certain belief group. Be honest to your own true self, as much as you can and your honest voice will reach others.

Spend a day with me.

I wake up hearing before the crack of dawn to prepare food for my human and animal family before I go to work. But the first thing I do is open ” Our Daily Bread” and read the readings for the day, reflect on them, pray about them and give thanks. Giving thanks is becoming a bigger part of my life with each passing day. It keeps me positive and hopeful that good things will happen if we go looking for them. After the cooking and packing of lunches and feeding of my strays, I shower and dress up to go to work.
I work as a research administrator in a university college and need to be at work at 8 am. Often being caught in rush hour traffic, I reach work only around 8:30but because I have an understanding supervisor, I often get away with it. Life has been getting easier as my children need less of me and my husband has become more independent in terms of their needs – so I have more time for myself. At work, I complete my day’s work in about an hour and the spare time I have, I sit at my desk and write or think about what to write. Sometimes I study Math to keep up with my daughter’s math homework. I read some books at my desk too and when my watch tells me I have been sitting too long, I take a walk around the corridors of my university.

Looking to the future plans.

First I would like to publish my own research in the world of medicine and make a few publications in my name and then I would like to see my own name in my publications – whether scientific or creative writing. I would like to earn some money from my blog and help other bloggers who so deserve the help they can get and I am working towards this aim. As to increasing the outreach of my blog, I am letting things take their own time and I am pretty casual about it for now. I get joy in seeing a new follower of my blog but more than numbers, I am now interested in making good friends, and people whose company I love. I learn a lot from my fellow bloggers and those I follow and I would like to learn more and more each day.
Thank you, Jackie, for having me.
Susie
Guest Posts

Adebisi is not just a blogger friend, she’s my beautiful Nigerian sister.

jacquelineobyikocha20 Comments

The most interesting thing about the blogging world is the connections you build with people from all walks of life and one such person that I have been totally delighted to connect with is Adebisi.

I call her sis or ‘Nne’ – which means mother in my language, not just because we share a common bond of being Nigerians and her consistent support, but her loving and endearing spirit that shines through her work and her words.

just-me

A Bit About Me

I am the first of 6 siblings and my sisters and brothers call me madam action *Wink*. This stems from having to fill the shoes of being the oldest and wanting everyone to fall in line. On Saturdays, while growing up I would wake them all up and assign chores to everyone. We would scrub, clean and tidy up the house before anyone takes breakfast…now you get the picture! Now they are enjoying the dividends of that as adults running their own homes I imagine…well, I somehow know and I still behave like a mother hen to them.

I was also the end of year party organizer back then. All the teenagers in our neighbourhood or who were our friends looked forward to our Christmas party which normally holds on Boxing Day, 26th of December. Looking back now I laugh as I remember twisting my dad’s arms to foot the bill of our budget for the party.

If he didn’t have enough to cover for what we had in mind we would consult with our friends coming for the party and ask everyone to contribute towards making the party a success. Some would bake a cake or make pastries, others will make fresh drinks and it always was a lot of fun for everyone. Great fond memories that we still talk about till date were made.

I like reading story books a lot so much that my parents couldn’t keep up with buying me new ones. Any great story still catches my attention even now whether it is a movie or literature. Perhaps this hobby is why I am a writer today. My life’s passion and goal is to make a difference in people’s lives no matter what Job I find myself doing.

I dislike lazy people who just drag their feet when something needs to be done. So you may say I can be impatient sometimes.

Most importantly for me is my spirituality. I believe in God and see him as my father. Simply put, knowing Jesus is what gives my life a meaning.

At Work
Me At Work

What motivated me to start blogging?

Firstly, training on blogging at a workshop opened me up to the world of blogging. I was thrilled. It came at a time when I felt dissatisfied with how things were being run at my workplace. I felt choked and needed a space where I could express myself not necessarily about what was going on. It was just a place to pursue my passion of reaching out to others on my own terms and at my own pace.

One of the things I learned about blogging was to write about what I am passionate about. I know I am passionate about making life better for women and girls and so I decided to go in that direction. But since I started blogging I found out from the community and courses on WordPress that I could spice my purpose with writing about other things. It is interesting to know that your readers want to have a peep into who you are and what your life is all about. So I have learned to spice my blog with a few other ideas.

Here is my first blog post ….. Why Femininematerz https://femininematerz.wordpress.com/2015/05/26/why-femininematerz/

Another from my first few posts – https://femininematerz.wordpress.com/2015/05/30/a-happy-girl-without-virgina-violation/

How I Motivate Myself to Continue Blogging

Once I started blogging I found out that it can be addictive so that in itself has kept me going. There are days when other aspects of my life get in the way for example when I have work deadlines or a project I am working on like this one: https://femininematerz.wordpress.com/2017/02/24/people-and-places-that-have-made-my-week-memorable/

It can sometimes seem like I am barely floating with my blogging goal. At such times I try to post at least once a week.

Other things that keep me motivated are the fact that:

  • blogging is something I want to continue to do even after retirement
  • I really do not like disappointing my readers who have come to follow my blog watching out for new posts
  • I will like my blog to grow and be sustained so I must be consistent
  • I will like to be able to sustain the friendship I have come to enjoy in the blogging community. I mean it’s amazing that you can meet people from other parts of the world and become friends.
  • And I do want to make money with this thing someday so I need to keep writing and posting for people to take me seriously.

Challenging Bloggy Moments

My greatest challenge is juggling my job with my blogging goal. I can get really busy sometimes that I simply do not have time to spare blogging. At such times I try to share a bit of what I am up to with my followers/readers.

You too can become a blogger

  • Blogging can be fun and tedious at the same time. It takes hard work and consistency.
  • Blogging gives you the opportunity to have your say about any issue that is of interest to you.
  • I have come to know some blogs that started as a channel for relieving stress or a means to reach others going through the same challenges in any area of life ranging from health issues, parenting, cooking etc. So blogging allows you to meet other people like yourself doing the same thing you do or going through something you might be facing.
  • Blogging is self-discovery. It helps you to discover new things about yourself and you actually learn a lot meeting and reading other bloggers post.

My Lessons

  • Write about what you know and care about
  • Write at your own pace. Determine what works best for you and how many times you wish to post.
  • Be yourself don’t try to be like other bloggers but you can learn a few tips about what works for them.
  • Don’t be a wall expecting others to come to you, reach out and follow other bloggers.
  • Read, comment and like what others post on their blog and you will be expanding your reach
  • Seriously there will days and times you are not able to write or post so don’t beat * yourself.
  • Keep at it and keep doing your best
  • Blogging helps others as well as you

More Images from My Life

Taking it further

I’d love to publish some of my written work but I am yet to get there.

This interview has been fun.

Thanks Jacqueline for your friendship and the opportunity to share my life and story on your page.  I call her Nne…

Guest Posts

Getting to Know My Friend Shiva

jacquelineobyikocha65 Comments

His wise words and cheerful demeanour drew me to want to know him better. Whenever Shiva visits, his presence is felt. In my months of blogging, he has been a supportive presence and I would like to extend my appreciation to the gentleman whom I silently title ‘Lord Shiva’ in my head 🙂

shiva

A Bit About Me

I am a third generation entrepreneur from India, born and brought up in a Joint Family but now I have my own nuclear family with two daughters, one is a Software Engineer and the second daughter is studying Medicine.

I am busy in the business of manufacturing of doors and shutters. I am a sportsman and a health-conscious person.

I have learnt and taught yoga and I practice it. I am also an actor and having acted in many dramas in our Amateur Dramatic Association in the local area. Though I like openness and being frank, I do not indulge in gossip and I am not fond of people who do so.

I like to study spirituality. History and space fascinate me. I am friendly and enjoy being with like-minded people. I do not make enemies. If anybody wants to become or attempts to be one I keep away from such a person.

I love my Family, my Workers, my Friends and who have come my way. It has been easy for me to fall in love with anything and anyone. I have my Pets who love me in return.

My Posts “Shower Happiness” and “I know you are the Soul, But..” are the ones that could give a better understanding of my background.

Of late, I have taken to writing and I am surprised to know that I can write poems too.

A Bit About My Blog

I had no intention of blogging or joining the blogging world. When I sent my writings to my friends and cousins who are all over the world, one of them suggested that I should start a blog of my own.

Until then, I knew nothing about blogging. However, out of curiosity I explored into that and found WordPress. Somehow I signed and the blog was opened for me.

While giving a name to my blog I thought what would be a proper name for that, I pondered on it and ultimately got the answer to have a name as “the shivas ponder” that sounded better as the articles I write are to be pondered.

Then came the ‘Tag’, since I thought the articles written by me are to be pondered by me first and then by others, my tag reads – “For Me You and Everyone”.

To know a bit more of my blog experience you could check “My 100.”

So it continued. I am a person who would be after something and would go further deep into it, to its core.

I started blogging and got to know its trends and etiquettes. I befriended many who have now become good friends and a part of my life.

I derive maximum satisfaction, happiness and inspiration being here and truly salute the blogging phenomenon and the technology behind it.  I am deeply indebted to it.

Well, who knew we would be getting friends from all over the World in such a short span of time. It is this Blog World that has brought the World closer and has made it easy to interact with people with their thoughts and feelings.

I have my Facebook page too, but I am never active on that. Personally, I do not like the things going on there. I feel it is a farce. I have seen people on FaceBook who could be your own friends or relatives; when they meet you they don’t even look at you, let alone talk to you.

This is just nonsense… a sheer waste of time… and an addiction… I feel it’s ridiculous.

No doubt people have derived some sort of satisfaction in that, as they find quotes and other good messages and try to meet old friends.

Staying Motivated

Oh! The Motivation part. I keep myself motivated in all wings of my life. I think I have become a more responsible person after starting my Blog since I have to set an example, I keep thinking of bettering my ideals. That motivates me further and guides my actions accordingly.

The blogging world provides lots of information, knowledge and true friends who are capable of doing so many things. They display their talents and creativity. Furthermore, you get inspired and would want to do and give more.

Bits of Challenges

I have had very good and few bad experiences here, which has ultimately taught me many things.

I feel challenged to give more to my writings and creativity and to further my understanding of what others do.  The English language has been a good medium for communication; so I should improve my usage of language and its vocabulary.

I also feel that I should always be a sort of inspiration to others and that I can do only do that if my language and the communicating skills are intact.

You’ve Got to keep Blogging!

I definitely encourage others to blog. We all get to know so many things here. Be it personal or of Life in general.

Many bloggers write about their personal accounts which help especially the younger ones’ on how to lead a wonderful Life. We get to see the real world on our screens. Many bloggers contribute and share such good posts that enhance the knowledge of the readers. Be it a Travel Post, a Cooking Recipe Post, a Quotable Quote Post, a Spiritual Post, a Lovers’ Feeling Post or a Post on Nature and so on.

My personal feeling is that we should not make the Blog World a Nonsense area. It should not be like a Face-Book joint.

Of course, I am happy having met some wonderful people here who are not only writers but are very creative in their work. Many are concerned about the well-being of others which they would like to see through their own work.

One should be aware that what they are doing on their pages reflect on those who read and come across them. Anything helpful to others in bringing them happiness and a sort of building a good relationship is most welcome.

Keeping personal matters to themselves, unless one wants to share them for good reasons.

In the days to come, we shall see a New World which shall be a Conglomeration of all peoples of all countries. We are the builders of that New World so to say “The Pioneers”. As such we are to be responsible people. We have to set an example for future generations to come.

Going Forward

Asides from my blog, I do not have any published material and don’t have any plans in the offing though I have plans to write a novel which is still in my head.

My Observations

I have seen some of the newer bloggers in order to get more traffic and follows on their blog, tend to act ridiculous. They just go on putting their likes without any comments. The likes may stretch to the extent of 10 to 30 numbers at a time in a few seconds.

How can that be a possibility? If you have to comment on the Blog Post it means that one has read the post, and they would not have read it. After which they are not traceable once they get a follower. Hahaha!!!

I always go to a Blog Post read it with patience; if the post is interesting I may read it more than once and put my Like; most of the times I comment on what I feel about the Post. Some of my comments are of few sentences pertaining to the post which could make the author glad.

While we blog and visit other blogs it is very important to see that your visit and presence has been felt and that you have added some value to the persons involved and also to others who shall visit those posts.

Blogging etiquettes are important and one should understand them through other experienced bloggers. One can take the Blogging classes rendered by WP. In any case, I feel one’s attitude is displayed through their actions. Sometimes I give a smile when I feel the pulse of the blogger.   I am very thankful to WP for having given this opportunity.

““Having a Blog is Constructing a Blog”

“A Blog is like constructing a beautiful building and creating an Amazing city”.

“Building a Blog takes time, so One has to be patient and put efforts to make it a Fascinating One”

I really appreciate the work you do, Jacqueline.

A little clip on SHIVARATRI – The day of Shiva’s night.

Guest Posts

Fight Till Your Last Breath

jacquelineobyikocha9 Comments

Related image

If Blood is Showering Out of Your veins,
If the Lesions & wounds are Giving you Pain
And Even If Circumstances are Showing your Death,
In spite of that, Fight Till Your Last Breath.

No Matter If you are Sailing On a Tidal Ocean,
No Matter If conditions Prevailing give you Tension
And Even If There is No Time Left For you to Regret,
In spite of that, Fight Till Your Last Breath.

What Happen If Night Always Comes Before the Morning,
What Happens if Every second Intensity of Darkness is Increasing
And Even If, darkness is Giving Brightness a Terrible Threat,
In spite of that, Fight Till Your Last Breath.

What Happens If you feel yourself alone on this Land,
What Happens, If your Shadow Remains your Only Friend
And Even If, you are Deprived of Love From anybody as yet,
In spite of that, Fight Till Your Last Breath.

It is Blissful, If you come out as Victorious in the End,
But if all Your Efforts & Attempts Go into the Sand
Then You Need not to Strike your Head with a Stone,
Because Fighting Till Last Breath is a Victory on its Own.

An Inspirational Poetry Composed By –  Syed Sabah ur Rehman-‘Aatif’

Guest Posts

Connecting With Susan

jacquelineobyikocha3 Comments

Me and My Blog

body-renovation-3

Body Renovations was born from my lifestyle transformation I underwent 9 years ago, with a focus on body, mind, and heart. It is hard to believe it has been that long already, as it seems like just yesterday I dropped the weight and have maintained it ever since.  
That’s why I know it was a lifestyle change because I changed my way of life and have no intentions of ever going back to the old habits. Don’t get me wrong, I still have days when I struggle with my diet, but I am so much more aware of what my body tells me if I make poor food choices. I define goals every year and I pick an area that I need to focus on. This year it is Nutrition. I’m trying to learn more and incorporate clean eating. 
I successfully transformed my thinking turning the negative thoughts around, to have a positive outlook on life. I began to love myself and life. Then I became more active, walking, hiking, biking, lifting and even learned how to swim at 52 years old! You are never too old, or it is never too late to do anything. If you don’t try you never know what you are missing out on. 
I have been able to throw my medications away, no more blood pressure or cholesterol meds for me. Exercise and diet have made it possible to live medication free! I am sure changing my attitude and thoughts have also made and impact. It’s so easy to allow your mind to stay focused in the negative and play the victim card. You can turn that around by focusing on the good things in life.  
One of my goals last year was to do more writing, someday I want to publish a book. The book idea has been on my goal list for several years, and I start and stop. Since I was stalling out I thought I might need to try a different approach…start smaller….write a blog. I might not post every day, and yes, life gets crazy and steals time from your time to write….but the main thing is to post when I can, don’t let it become a stressor. I don’t feel like writing comes easy for me, so I am working on developing the writer muscle so I will be able to publish a book someday. If you don’t try you never know what you are missing out on.
Sometimes we need to perform a remodel and Body Renovations covers the whole being. Body Renovations
susan-lifting

My Motivation

Reading other blogs inspire and motivate me. If I am out on a walk, hike or bike ride I have ideas popping into my head and I think about how I could use that idea to write a blog post. Sometimes I get so excited about a topic and when I sit down to write I get a couple sentences drafted and then nothing! I will stay engage with writing for a while, but when it is evident that I have nothing else to expand on, then I leave it and come back to it another time and find that I can add to it and I have a blog post.

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Challenging Moments

The most challenging thing for me with blogging is finding different ways to express myself in my writing. I’m not a natural writer…this is a stretch for me, it’s an opportunity for me to push myself to the edges. When I write, I want to be creative with my writing to draw people in, to influence and inspire small changes that readers can think about and apply in their lives.  
 The other thing is making time to write, as well as reading other blogs. They are so many inspiring writers out there, I didn’t have any idea until I started my blog. People started to follow me after my very first post, that was hard to process, I mean people that didn’t know me liked what I had to say. It started connections, with other bloggers and I have made friends with complete strangers from across the globe. It was our “thought likeness” that brought us together. It was the common bond of love where our paths crossed and we share our comments of support. It is a community where we lift each other up. It is a beautiful thing, this thing called blogging.

A Word To Others

I definitely would encourage everyone to create a blog. It’s a platform to share your passion, and let readers see the depths of your soul. I have found so much inspiration from other bloggers that I follow, and they touch my heart with their ability to draw a picture with their words like an artist painting a picture.
Writing is a way to expand your thinking, to challenge your mind to meet your heart and let your wisdom flow. It is a great way to get in touch with your inner being.
Have fun, release your inner child to guide you to your creativity!
 
Check out this blog post: Living on the Edge…
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I would like to thank you, dear Jacqueline, for this guest interview. I am both humbled and honored for this opportunity. I appreciate your support of fellow bloggers and the love and inspiration that pours from your heart into your writing. You are a blessing to the blogging community!
Love and hugs,
Susan
Guest Posts

Getting To Know Beautiful Carol

jacquelineobyikocha21 Comments

Carol, you are a sweet positive minded soul that I’ve been fortunate to connect with in this place. I would like to thank you for all your support, for your beautiful posts infused with wisdom and love. It’s been a pleasure relating with you.

A Bit About Me

Blogger, Interview, Getting to know you

My name is Carol and I am the eldest of seven children. My parents came from the West Indies but I am a UK citizen. Now I’m grateful to God that I live in a democratic country with a stable economy. I appreciate the blessing of being able to worship Him freely, without fear of persecution. I do however wish I lived somewhere more exciting, somewhere exotic, with palm trees, blue skies, balmy seas, and some sunshine. Lots of sunshine! Alas, I must settle instead for the boring gray skies of London.

Now if you saw me with my family and loved ones, particularly at celebrations, you’d probably find me at my most bubbly and jocular. My default nature, however, is quite shy and introverted. I do love to play practical jokes. Many times, I’ve left a non-food item in a biscuit packet, to be discovered by my peckish husband. I smile as I write this because there was a recent incident when I went to help myself to what I thought was the last piece of cake, only to discover that the box held a small onion. Yep! He played me at my own game!

I suppose I’m really a loner and enjoy solitary pastimes such as reading, writing, gardening and brain-training. I also love to travel (sunny climes only) and have enjoyed some wonderful holidays abroad.

Accomplishments

Looking back at my life, the achievements of which I’m most proud are:

Blogger Interview, Getting to know you

  • Attending university as a mature student and obtaining my Honours degree in English (literature).
  • Spending approximately 5-6 years as a volunteer editor for a Christian Women’s magazine and overseeing the production of some rather wonderful issues. In fact, the very first one I’d produced as lead editor was said to have been one of the very best in the magazine’s history!
  • Faithfully serving my dearly beloved mother before she passed away in September last year.

Now, this last achievement would perhaps not be meaningful to anyone else but I am proud to have been there for my mother. I loved Mum to bits and miss her so much (Father God, give her a hug for me please).

I am quite handy with a sewing machine, having been taught dressmaking (exceedingly well), by my mother.  When I became unemployed, I started making clothes to order, as well as a few bridesmaids and wedding dresses. This was fine when I lived at home but when I moved out, I couldn’t survive on the income (or lack of it!). And this reminds me of yet another achievement I’m very proud of—I made my own wedding dress.

Work Life

I work for a Human Rights charity that provides support and holistic services to victims of torture. I am an administrator within a team that produces forensic reports for lawyers. These reports assist the victims with their asylum claims.

The statements of torture survivors and the medico-legal reports our doctors prepare, documenting evidence of torture, make for distressing reading. I’ve never really had the stomach for boxing, wrestling, and gratuitously violent films but since working for this charity, I absolutely cannot bear watching these types of entertainment.

After a day at the office, I usually need a dose of comedy to end my evenings. My DVD box set of Friends (a present from my dear hubby), supplies this fix. I have to admit that I’ve become hopelessly addicted!

Why Blog?

Would you believe, I had absolutely no intention of becoming a blogger, or jumping on the social media bandwagon? Negative media coverage about trolls etc convinced me to stay away from all that jazz. Besides, the idea of making virtual friends seemed laughable to me. The only nod I’d made to this was to sign up at LinkedIn.  After all, it was a professional site, so that’s ok, right? I set up my profile but that was basically it. I didn’t join any groups. Didn’t really try to grow my network. Boy, was I foolish!

And if anyone had told me approx 15 months ago that I’d become a blogger, I’d never have believed.  And yet here I am.  The owner of not just one blog but two!

So what caused this change of heart? It was a need to do something for myself. For years and years and years, I’d cherished a dream of becoming a writer. I loved to write and felt I had a gift. And for quite some time, I’d begun to feel like the character in the Bible, who instead of using his talent had buried it.

As already mentioned, I was a part-time carer for my mother and a full-time employee.  I felt my life was slipping by, my time being largely taken up with meeting the needs or demands of others. I was desperate to do something for myself. The only slightly redeeming factor in this scenario, was that over many years I’d been working little by little on a writing project and was close to completing it.

I’d always had a desire to reach out to and encourage women, and believed God’s purpose for my life lay in this direction.  Yet I’d done practically nothing about this. A series of incidents made me realize I had to begin doing something now, or else I could find myself standing before my Maker feeling thoroughly ashamed for wasting the gift I’d been given, for failing to pursue my purpose. I couldn’t afford to waste any more time waiting for circumstances to be ideal.

So, having finally completed my draft manuscript and researched how to self-publish, I discovered that I needed a market. The horror of horrors, experts advised blogging and social media—the very things at which I’d turned up my nose!

I began thinking. How many times have I agonized over the fact that I wasn’t writing regularly? And how many times was I beating myself up for not moving in the direction of my purpose? Instead of waiting for opportunities to come to me, why not make my own opportunities?  Why not start blogging and use this medium as a way to address my two issues of concern? Why not sow this small seed and see how the Lord uses it and watch where it takes me? So here I am!

Now if you are interested in reading how I came to choose the names for my two blogs, you may do so here: https://apurposedrivenachiever.wordpress.com/2016/12/21/whats-in-a-name/.

Blogging – takes hard work and commitment!

What motivates me to continue with blogging? Several things. A desire to improve as a writer. Not wanting to let down my followers and visitors. My need to build a platform.  Then of course, there are my reasons for starting to blog in the first place.

Would I recommend blogging? Absolutely! However, make sure your motive for starting one is not just about numbers and popularity, else you may not last. Make sure you have a passion that drives you otherwise you will not only run out of ideas but also out of steam. And pace yourself. Work out what schedule you can comfortably maintain and don’t feel you need to copy the posting frequency of others. Try to strike a balance between your blogging duties and your personal life.  Blogging is addictive and if you let it, can take over your entire life.

Because of my perfectionist leanings and because life sometimes gets in the way, I don’t post as regularly, as I would like. That’s why I appreciate all readers who honour me with their visits. I particularly appreciate those who leave their comments and likes, since I do work hard and spend a lot of time preparing my posts and these are the only form of feedback I receive.

As previously mentioned, I have two blogs: A Purpose-driven achiever and Women of Warfare! It’s difficult to pick out my favourite posts. The two which I feel will appeal most to creative writers/readers of Jacqueline’s blog are: https://apurposedrivenachiever.wordpress.com/2016/08/25/quit-comparing/

and https://womenofwarfare.wordpress.com/2016/08/01/did-you/.

 For encouragement during difficult times try reading this inspirational post: https://womenofwarfare.wordpress.com/2015/10/11/im-still-standing/.

Or, if you are looking for motivation to pursue your dreams then the following post may be of interest: https://apurposedrivenachiever.wordpress.com/2015/10/29/unlock-your-potential/

I hope you have enjoyed reading this interview and trust the above posts will whet your appetite to explore my blogs further.

Thank you for honouring me with your precious time and thank you dear Jacqueline, for including me amongst your blogger associates and for granting me the opportunity of this guest interview. My first one! Yay!

 

 

Guest Posts · Parenting

7 Effective Tips on How to Stay Healthy When Your Family Is Sick

jacquelineobyikocha19 Comments

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7 Effective Tips on How to Stay Healthy

When Your Family Is Sick

Living around family members who are sick can be quite challenging. This is because while you want to attend to your family, you are also putting yourself at a risk of contracting the illness they are suffering from. As such, there is need to cautiously attend to the sick while taking care of your health first. It is worth noting that just because a person in your family is sick, the rest of you do not have to contract the sickness.

It is important to be extra cautious if the illness in the family is contagious. This is because such diseases can spread very fast and affect everyone in the family particularly children and other people whose immunity is weak. Fortunately, there are several proven tips you can use to ensure that you stay healthy when your family is sick.

Wash hands thoroughly

Hands may come into contact with contaminated surfaces and as such may be carriers of germs and other disease-causing microorganisms. Due to this, it is important to ensure that you wash thoroughly using plenty water and detergent/soap. You can also use essential oils together with soap/detergent to enhance the effectiveness of the soap in killing germs.

Once you have washed your hands well, you should then dry them using a clean towel. Not all germs can be removed through hand washing as there are some that tend to remain even after washing the hands. This is why it is necessary to dry your hands so as to remove the damp conditions on hands that may harbor germs. Ensure that you dry your hands well including beneath the nails.

Restrict kitchen access

If a family member is sick, you should ensure that he/she does not access the kitchen or other common areas such as the dining table. This is particularly if they are sneezing or coughing and may, therefore, spread germs all over the house quite easily. Bacteria can survive on different surfaces including tables and countertops. Therefore, when the infected person uses the kitchen, these germs may be left on these surfaces and may later get transferred to food, which could be disastrous when you have small kids eating together with your family.

In addition to restricting kitchen access, you should also limit the use of the refrigerator and freezer. Ideally, people open fridge doors more times than any other door in the house. As such, these doors may serve as a germ-swapping spot in the house.

Use hot water to clean laundry

Disease-causing germs, bacteria, and other microorganisms are easily destroyed by heat. In line with this, you should ensure that you use hot water to wash your laundry and for bathing. Research studies have shown that hot water is more efficient in killing germs than cold water. In addition to hot water, it is also necessary to use detergents and antiseptics to kill germs in your laundry.

When doing laundry, it is important that you should not touch your mouth or nose. This is because germs tend to get into the body easily when they come into contact with open surfaces such as the mouth and nose. When doing laundry using a washing machine, it is important that you sanitize the machine using hot water and bleach in between loads.

Reduce physical contact

When someone is sick or recovering from sickness it is not the best time for cuddles, kissing, and hugging as well as other forms of physical contact. It may sound unrealistic and hurtful not to hug and cuddle your sick child, but it is for the best for both of you. This is because while the healthy are at a risk of contracting a disease from the sick, the sick on the other hand are more susceptible to contracting other illnesses since their immunity is quite low.

You should use hands-off ways of comforting and soothing a sick family member by using hand signals that mean kisses, hugs, or using comforting words like “I love you”. If you have to kiss your child, avoid kissing on the mouth but instead kiss on the forehead or other surfaces such as on cheeks.

Disinfect the house regularly

Usually, germs can survive on surfaces for 24 hours only. However, there are some that survive for longer than that. Due to this, you should ensure that you thoroughly disinfect surfaces and floors in the house on a regular basis. Some of the surfaces that you are likely to find germs include counter surfaces, computer keyboards, telephones and toilet seats among other surfaces.

In addition to disinfecting surfaces in the house, you should also thoroughly wash utensils such as spoons, forks, knives, plates and cups among other utensils. This helps in preventing the spread and transfer of germs to other people in the family.

Keep distance from sick persons

If you are sick, it is advisable that you keep your distance so as not to spread the illness to other people. It is necessary that you avoid going in social gatherings while you are on medication as this may put those around you at risk of contracting illnesses. Additionally, you may expose yourself to other illnesses from other people since your immune system may be quite weak thus making you susceptible to developing other illnesses.

Promote hygiene

Germs and bacteria thrive well in dirty conditions. It is, therefore, important to ensure that you promote hygiene in and around the house. For instance, ensure that the house is clean at all times. Towels should be maintained dry at all times and without any moisture whatsoever. If you have a sick person in the house, ensure that you dispose of the tissues or any other trash used by them. Additionally, ensure that you do not have unprotected contact with items used by a sick person.

For added safety and health while in the house, you should ensure that the sick persons in the house cover their noses and mouths while coughing or sneezing. This helps in preventing the likelihood of having air-borne germs all over the house thereby putting other people at risk of developing infections.

If you want everyone in the family to be healthy, it is important to strengthen their immune system through feeding them on a well-balanced diet, exercising regularly, and avoiding counter-productive habits such as smoking or abuse of drugs. This goes a long way in making it possible to prevent illnesses and infections particularly among young children and adults with weak immune systems.

Parenting Journal, Parenting, 7 Effective Health TipsThis post is written by Danny from MyParentingJournal.com, a blog dedicated to parenting best practices, tips, advice, and resources.

Guest Posts

Getting to know Ellen

jacquelineobyikocha20 Comments

Call me nosy, but I certainly enjoy getting to know my fellow bloggers in this community. That’s what we are ‘a community.’

Let’s hang out with Ellen today. Thank you Ellen for allowing my intrusion 🙂

Bloggers InterviewA Bit About Me

My name is Ellen, I am married we have four fully formed huge children, three from me and one from he. Best beloved and I  moved to the west country four years ago, giving the four children, four grandchildren, my Mother and two sisters and friends the opportunity to visit us, enjoy where we live…we are near the coast. We took very early retirement giving me the opportunity to be the wordy bird I am today, and to travel the world having adventures with the aforementioned best beloved.

I am often referred to as a bit of a loon or bonkers… but then the best people often are; so said Alice *smiles*. I am full of fun, a morning person who leaps up and attacks everything with vigour… (By everything I don’t mean ironing and mundane chores) I sing frequently though very badly, I talk continually unless writing reading or sleeping…. uh! I take that back because I am informed I talk whilst sleeping too. I can be heard saying “I am not a crafty or cutty sewey person” Make no mistake I can turn my hand to most things, except… * gives a filthy look* knitting; but unless I truly need to make or mend something I won’t.

Once someone described me very rudely as being like a psycho Tigger on crack! I live every day being the best me I can and am grateful for the life we have. My philosophy in life is to be the kindest person I can be and actively do one good thing; without recognition every day; if each of us did the world would be a nicer place.

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Me and My Blog

My blog came about by realizing that publishing had changed and any writer would be expected to do some social media stuff; of which I was pretty rubbish at and still am learning today. I have never exposed my blog to family, though close friends and family know I have one. I want to be able to know that the followers, connections made and commenters are people who chose to do so because they have an opinion on the things I write and the way I write; not family and friends who may feel they have to. I believe you can also buy followers on twitter too, this isn’t for me and my bloody-mindedness probably shows in my figures; but at least I am true to myself and my work.

My blog is that of a writer experimenting with genres and form. Visitors should be prepared to not be prepared…not to presume what my response will be to a prompt or a flash fiction. My poetry takes hold and sometimes I hear things in rhyme so answer that way. In life, I learned to deliver a tongue in cheek response, so I often find the most difficult of things easy to lay out in a poem, rap or a rhyme.

In my blog, between the lines squirreled away… are pieces of me. Amongst the words, plaited neatly in, I can be found. Hidden but on show, where no one can see; is my story. We all call on past experiences to form and fill in, but I am hiding me in full view and who knows maybe that is what enables me to write.

How I keep motivated and the blog going.

Now, Jaqueline, that is a question,

I struggle when we go away which is often off grid, but as a norm, I try to have a couple of posts ready in the wings. Often we can pick up some internet when food shopping, enough to send the odd scheduled post, but I do feel guilty sometimes if I haven’t been posting.

If your readers look at my about page you will see that my blog is how I take a break from editing my novel or working on a piece for a competition. Perverse I know “She is procrastinating from writing… by writing”

I pick up prompts and experiment with genres. Each prompt is taken as a gauntlet thrown down; a personal challenge as if the blogger is saying “go on then give this a go… if you dare”. Jane Dougherty is one who challenges me often and will say something like “go on make it nasty” and the prompt will be a picture from an innocent fairytale. Here’s one I made earlier as they say. WARNING! Expect gore.    https://ellenbest24.wordpress.com/2016/12/14/microfictionchallenge26/

Here is a link to Jane’s blog if your visitors want to read some skilled writing.

https://janedougherty.wordpress.com/  and as you know Jackie… can I call you Jackie? I feel we know each other well enough. As I was saying there is a host of prompters yourself included, Sue Vincent, The Friday fictioneers, I dip in and out of them often to be inspired and motivated.

Occasionally I will review a book or put some music on my blog just because I enjoy showing the things that I like. I probably should be more uniform as most others are but I like to be different unique I say.

My Challenge As A Writer

As a person who writes my biggest challenge has been and maybe always will be; self-belief.

My Word To Others

Yes, I hope just being here does just that. As long as you are writing first to please yourself everything else is a bonus. If photography is your thing or crafting, cooking whatever it is, just write it, compile it for you; if it is good enough for you then post it.

It is great for the brain and you virtually meet some wonderful bloggers and can read until your heart is content. I get disheartened when I comment on blogs but don’t get the comments or follows returned.  I see comments as my wages,  payment for my words, my imaginations;  I feel it is respectful to leave something,  so they know you enjoyed their work or the post you have read; commenting should be compulsory.

Alfie - My Car
Alfie – My Car

Spend The Day With Me

I get up about 5.30/6 am to wash and mostly pull on clean PJ’s well who wants clothes at that time. I drink lemon and water; a pint hydrates me and flushes toxins; I have practiced this for years. Then I make a cup of tea (probably three) and go to work on my WIP; upstairs in my office come spare room. I will work for probably four hours then go downstairs to check emails on my tablet. Next, I respond to any comments on my blog then go to the reader on WordPress. I list if there are any prompts that I want to participate in and take my notebook and pencil/pen to the kitchen. The kitchen is where I kick off any footwear and warm my feet on the under floor heating, I eat my yummy homemade muesli and of course more tea, I brew the bed monster his coffee. After housework (we have to show willing) depending on where I am writing wise, I either go back to the office or take the laptop down to the living room to continue. I will sometimes keep at it well into the night but on Other days a morning of writing enough. A friend calls by three mornings a week and we tramp through fields and over styles, laugh and be fools for six or seven miles then I come home and flop in a bubble bath to recuperate.

We go away a lot and writing comes too, along with our bikes (another story for another day) the motor home a trailer with Alfie on top.

Looking To Tomorrow

I am editing my manuscript at the moment and will be seeking an agent in the near future.  Thank you for letting me blether away but you were warned I can talk.

Guest Posts

A Professional Journalist, Writer, Blogger: Getting To Know Sir Romanus Ngobesing

jacquelineobyikocha15 Comments

I call him Sir Romanus out of respect and much regards. Since we connected in this space, he’s been a voice of encouragement and support. He uses his blog actively as a platform to inspire and promote others and his openness is just heartwarming. Thank you for all you do Sir Romanus.

romanus-ngobesing

A bit about me

Thank you, Jackie for making me a guest on your blog! You are one of the bloggers I admire for the quality of your work and feel honored to be your guest.

My name is Ngobesing Suh Romanus, and I hail from Cameroon, in Central Africa. We are a close neighbor to Nigeria, the most populated country in Africa. My country is best known as a great football nation with stars like Roger Milla, the African Millenium player and 4-time African player of the year, Samuel Eto’o Fils.

I am a journalist by profession, a Senior Citizen retired (but not tired) in 2011 from the state-owned Cameroon Radio Television in Corporation, after thirty years of service. A month after retirement, I picked up my present position of pioneer Manager of the Catholic Radio in my Archdiocese, Radio Evangelium. I have had the duty and honor to set it up from scratch and have it running.

To know more about where I am coming from, I started secondary education in one of the best secondary institutions in my country, Sacred Heart College, before becoming a probationary teacher after passing a recruitment exam in 1967. One year later, I got into a Teacher Training College where I got trained to teach. Then I taught for a while before getting into University where I obtained a B.A in bilingual literary studies (French/English). I did one-year ‘Maitrise’, before proceeding to the International Higher School of Journalism in Yaounde. There, I did professional studies, obtaining a B.A. in Journalism. The study program offered me the opportunity to travel to France, Canada and the United States of America for internships in different institutions.

After school, I started my broadcasting career in 1981. In 1997, I travelled to Holland where I did a course on Human Rights in the Institute of Social Studies in The Hague.

My work over the years has impacted many people and changed their lives. Wherever I serve or go, I love the people I meet and they love me. In 2007, in recognition of my contribution to the transformation of the society, the International University of Bamenda awarded me an honorary Doctorate degree in Public Relations and Journalism.

My Pleasures and Displeasures

Talking about my likes, I love my work. My work as a journalist (broadcaster) writer and blogger has enabled me to serve more people than I ever imagined. I have impacted many lives positively and it gives me tremendous joy not just because it has made me a household name in my country, but because, I have had the chance to do what gives me real pleasure which is serving people, helping them make the most of their lives, and contributing, in my modest way, to make the world a better place for all.

I dislike injustice. I dislike when I see talent wasted because of the lack of the opportunity or motivation to develop it. I dislike the fact that the resources of the world are not fairly shared; some people swim in luxury while others wallow in misery. I think this should not be so. The rich must make their riches circulate so that no child fails to go to school because their parents can’t afford their fees; so that no child or adult dies because they cannot afford medical care; so that no family goes to bed without a meal because they cannot afford it. I think we should all work in a way that all of us, not just a few of us, will enjoy the world.

Blog Talk

I love my WordPress blog. I love the name Success Inspirers’ World. I started it when I became a Senior citizen. That was precisely in August 2014. Before then I had a blog on blogger which I struggled to run because I knew very little about ICT having never gone to a computer school. I learned computer informally from the students who came on internship and worked with me, as well as from my children, my spouse, and later on the staff in my present job. Surprisingly, today, I am doing far more than many who taught me.

I created a blog to reach out to those I knew needed the kind of help and support I had been offering my radio fans over the years and which was greatly embraced. I see many people who waste their lives, some of whom have enormous talents just because there is no one to help them discover who they are, or to encourage them to bring out the best in them. I enjoy inspiring, motivating and encouraging people. There are people who are failing woefully in their marriages whereas they should be succeeding and shining.

Since I spent all my working life assisting people this way and accumulated so much knowledge in these areas, I thought, and with encouragement from others, that I could reach more people through my blog. I still inspire, motivate and encourage people on radio but that is limited to how far the signals can go. They don’t even cover my country. It is this blog that has enabled me to reach parts of the world I would never have imagined. That has given me a tremendous feeling of fulfillment, and this is just the beginning.

Passion Inspires Me

My passion for what I am doing is my first source of motivation. My passion is unbounded. I go to bed with it and get out of bed with it. My conviction that what I am doing is right, useful, and helpful keeps me going. I am also motivated by what I have learned, shared and taught all my life. For instance, that the best is yet to come. I strongly believe I have not reached the summit which the Lord has earmarked for me. I believe God wants me to leave something for posterity and I have to work hard to do so. I have to explore beneath the mountain, beside the mountain, at the summit of the mountain and even dig into the mountain to discover it. It’s not going to come to me if I sit and wait. I have to go find it.

The Ups & Downs of Blogging

When I was going into blogging, I had very high expectations. I thought it would be easy to become a hero within a very short time. But it was not long before I saw it was an uphill task to win followers and drive traffic to my site. I would see other bloggers with so much traffic and wonder why I could not do like them. Some days were really discouraging. I would publish a post thinking it would go viral. It would not even take off the ground. For almost three years on WordPress,  have not published a post which has drawn the number of clicks or likes I can brandish to others. It’s really hard, but I am happy that I have kept on. I am happy with where I am today, knowing how difficult it is.

In fact, I do encourage others to blog. I am even helping others to blog and to reach more readers. Blogging is a way to share ideas, and participate in building people and the world. I have more than fifty authors who are free to publish on my site if that can help them reach more readers. But of course, it does not help them alone. It also helps me and the world.

A Typical Day with Me

I get up quite early, between 3 and 5 am. I do blogging for some time; then listen to radio. I have a daily radio reflection which I present and it triggers calls from the public. I leave for work by 9 am and go home at 6 pm. My spouse has the responsibility in her office so she is at work a lot of times too. Our children are grown so no worries about caring for children. Back home, I do some blogging before I go to bed. My social activities are limited. I don’t go out to drink as I see a lot of people do. I do not have time to waste. I work a lot. I believe hard work pays. I encourage people to work hard and I show the example.

What Tomorrow Might Bring

I look forward to seeing Success Inspirers’ World grow into a website which is visited by millions of readers around the world. My dream is that it becomes a real platform where other bloggers and readers get help, inspiration, and motivation to succeed on their own blogs or in life. I am thinking seriously about monetizing it so that it brings in some money. With money, we can achieve a lot. I am building an international team that will work with me to create something of a sensation. I believe there are real talented and honest people who can form a team with me and if we succeed everybody will get rewarded fairly. I am a fair person and would not like anybody who makes a contribution to our success not to be rewarded for it. I am happy that I continue to get more authors interested in what we are doing. It is easier to succeed as a team than to succeed alone. Some people fear to join teams and want to stand out and shine alone. Many never shine. Many heads are better than one. I want all of us on Success Inspirers’ World to be part of a great dream; to journey together, shine together and get the glory together. As soon as I can afford the finances, I will upgrade this site and new things will begin. I have so much faith in the future. Age does not bother me. I’ll keep working to make the most of my opportunities and contribute as best I can to make the world an excellent place for all. I have written a lot.

My publications include,”A loving Woman in
Tears” (Novel) “Mr. Money Man, Too Rich to Die'(Play),’ The Teacher’,
‘Girls and Life’, and ‘The Wonders of Wisdom.’ ‘Thought Waves’

I welcome encouragement and support in any form.

Reach me at ngobesingromanuss@gmail.com. My blog is Success Inspirers’ World

Guest Posts · Parenting

Sharing Bedrooms: How To Stop War Breaking Out Between Your Kids

jacquelineobyikocha14 Comments
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As a parent, all we really want is peace and quiet – but if you have more than one child, that’s never really the case. If they aren’t playing rambunctious games that you’re worried might just shatter your home into pieces, then chances are they’re fighting as loudly as possible – and this might happen even more if they share a room. Not having your own space can be rough on kids, but luckily there are things you can do to make it easier on everyone.

Set Up Room Dividers

If they’re having problems separating their possessions from each other’s, then add room dividers so that they have the illusion of having their own space. It’s important, especially as you get older, to have your own private space. A lot of kids feel happy and secure knowing they can go into their rooms and close their doors for a little breathing space – but if this isn’t possible for your family, putting dividers across the room might do the trick, whether they’re folding ones or simply a curtain that can be pushed back.

Give Them Separate Storage

You’ve probably already heard numerous fights about who stole someone else’s favourite toy – honestly, it can be exhausting to have to deal with. You can get around this by giving them separate spaces to store their toys and possessions, along with another container for toys that belong to both of them.

Although sharing is a key skill that it’s important for them to learn, it’s also important for them to understand to respect other people’s things.

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Move Furniture To Give Them More Space

If there isn’t much floor space so they tend to be crammed in together, then why not go for children’s bunk beds? This will free up a lot of the room, and it’ll also help them to feel a little more alone as they’re trying to get to sleep at night. Bear in mind that this might make dividing the room into two a whole lot harder – but the extra space might just be worth it.

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Give Them Another Place To Do Homework

Make sure that there’s another place in the house for your kids to do homework or to go to generally be quiet and have their own space. It’s crucial for every child to have their own quiet orderly space to study, and if they’re being interrupted by a sibling in their shared room that might be hard. It’s also important for them to know that if they need to, there’s a place in your house where they can go to chill out and destress and be alone.

Lead Their Communication

It’s important for you to show them what good communication is. Make sure that you and your spouse are always polite and loving towards each other, and that you apologize after any disagreements or harsh words that you might have. If you encourage your kids to do the same thing when they have disagreements with each other, you’ll find that they’ll be kinder and more gentle with each other and that fights will get resolved much more quickly.

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