Family · Hope · Life · Love · Personal story

But I Wanted A White Christmas!…personal

 

masquerade 2

Every Christmas time finds me reminiscing over beautiful memories of childhood Christmastime’s spent with my parents. Those were the naive and innocent days of my life.

As children we associated Christmas with the arrival of the sharp cold, dusty weather of Harmattan which changed the air with its peculiar smell of red clay dust.

The frenzy of Christmas preparations started a bit early with mummy taking us to the tailor for measurements of new dresses or if her pockets had extra jingles, purchases of all-ready-made to wear clothes would be the thing.

She did this early enough so that ‘Nwanyi Bacha’ our favourite family tailor would have them all ready before the frantic rush from last minute customers. Other purchases were equally made as early as possible to save a few Naira’s ahead of the hiking of price in goods. In Nigeria, we didn’t have sales back then. We had price hikes.

The purchase of several Cockerels would be done and we would spend the following weeks fattening them up with ground chicken feed, while the poor things pecked away and waited to be slaughtered, plucked and eaten with the numerous dishes that would circulate over the holidays.

The smell of vanilla and nutmeg became a constant aroma in the house. Tins and tins of Chin-chin were fried to entertain guests who would surely come calling when we got to the village and an assortment of Christmas carols played non-stop.

But we had no White Christmas and I wanted a snowy white Christmas. The television’s had been showing foreign movies of snow and Santa sneaking down the chimney’s to drop gifts in socks.

The University children’s staff party was held and our neighbourly dark-faced Santa whom we fondly called ‘Father Christmas’ was always kitted out with a cotton wool beard, eyebrows, chalky hair and fluffy stuffing to expand his girth.

He handed out the little gifts as we lined up in neat rows to meet him and we secretly whispered knowingly to each other… ”I think it’s Chikpe’s daddy…he must have gone to North Pole to collect our gifts.”

Hedges were decorated with twinkly lights and there was so much gaiety in the air.

….But we didn’t have white Christmas.

Then the traveling to the village. It was almost always a mass exodus. Leaving the townships to the villages during festive periods was a norm.

For miles, the roads would be clogged with full vehicles snaking through the narrow winding roads of Nsukka express up to the 9th mile, where there was always a traditional log jam that lasted for hours as people drove crazily, and a road that was meant to be a two-lane road, somehow turned into a five or six or how ever many lane road.

The cheerful hawkers were happy about the jams. They did brisk business; excitedly shouting their wares on top of their voices..Bread, Bread, your fresh bread here. Groundnut, even live Chicken were hawked in the traffic.

Our Renault was always loaded down to the hilt. Bags of Rice, fattened Cockerels, tins of chin-chin, luggage, crates of soft drinks and so many things.

Getting to the village and meeting the grandparents, uncles, aunties, cousins, clans men and women were moments not to be forgotten. The older ones practically twirled you around, exclaiming, oohing and aahing over how tall you have grown, how this or that and beaming with fond smiles.

The cool village nights were filled with sounds of the power plant droning in the background, of children’s laughter and playful voices as we gathered in front of Grandpa’s frontage and enjoyed a mix of scary, ghostly folktales, riddles and jokes. The constant chirp of the Cricket and the deep croaking of the Frogs, with Fireflies that flitted past every few minutes, all made the inky darkness of the night much more mysterious.

Now and again, we would catch sight of a torch or winking lamp bobbing up and down from afar as its owner walked the dark, trodden village path and we would all shriek and run into grandpa’s house.

But we still didn’t have any White Christmas!

Christmas dawn met everyone excited and well dressed. Somehow, Father Christmas, had managed to visit in the wee hours of the morning and left little gifts for us. It couldn’t have been easy doing those rounds across Continents and villages, but he did come and fulfilled his promises. Quite the lovely man, our Father Christmas.

The morning Harmattan’s dew would still be hanging in the crisp air, as we enjoyed hot cups of beverage and thick slices of bread, butter and eggs before trooping into the available cars to go to Church. We sometimes had to sit on each others lap or the car would make several rounds to ferry everyone to Church, since some relatives did not own cars.

The Christmas mass was always too joyous and merry to be solemn. We ardently admired our winking new trinkets, shiny shoes, dresses and oily plastered hair, which had been stretched or should I say fried out with hot sizzling stretching combs that had been heated over the stove.

Slow merry gyrating to the altar and back with new pennies for offering, our beaming brown faces followed our dazzling mothers, who were bedecked in the latest George or Hollandaise wrappers and flamboyant head gears that made them look so outstanding. The Priests in their pristine white, stood with the altar boys and the special containers of holy water were sprinkled liberally on all and sundry.

Our feast was the sharing of delicious, sumptuous food. Copious plates of Jollof or fried rice, pounded yam, cake, chin-chin, drinks, pepper-soup; we ate until our small tummies were thoroughly rounded out with food.

These things were done in stages and the icing to the cake of Christmas tidings was the outing ”to see the masquerades.” The event of seeing the masquerades is tradition at it’s finest. A treat in a first-class of its own.  The vibrant and sometimes scary masquerades would give chase and the adrenaline of pumping hearts and legs as we scampered for safety were recounted over and over.

As I grew older and watched my mother go through the yearly Christmas preparation, the selfless cooking and taking big basins of warm food to the local prisons for the prisoners, the giving of food items to the less privileged around her, I came to realize that the joy of Christmas was not based on the whiteness of its snow, or the brown dust of its Harmattan, but the deep feeling of family, of joy, of sharing, of love, of charity, of peace and purpose that lay in the hearts of all those who believed.

Merry Christmas My Dear Friends. Glad Tidings To You And Yours.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · The Daily Post

Rabid Fan(aticism)…

When you are married to an English Premier League Football Fan(atic), as the years zip by, you find yourself getting far more knowledgeable about the things of Soccer/football.Democratic Republic of Congo soccer fans gesture ahead of their African Nations Cup Group B soccer match against Ghana in Port Elizabeth

You get to know the scores of Arsenal, Manchester United, Real Madrid, Tottenham Hotspurs and so on. You are privy to the tidbits of who has been relegated and who needs the extra points to make the cut.

Of course, you will be in the know of the humourous fact that the Lion in Chelsea’s logo has run away in protest of their bad outing and that José Mourinho their coach has been relieved of his formerly impeccable duties.

The names of footballers become familiar and roll off the tip of your tongue with ease, in such a way that you catch yourself sitting on the edge of your seat, kicking the air along with your husband and two boys and chanting ”come on, come on, come on….” and then yelling Gooooooal like a demented lady when your family team, Arsenal scores or eating your nails to nubs and having butterflies in your stomach during penalty shootouts.

Who knew! I was more a basketball, volleyball, running and tennis kinda girl who watches Roger Federer, Djokovic and Serena with a gleam in my eyes, but years of association has rubbed off and succeeded in turning me into a rabid fan along with my guys; though for me, my fanaticism is only during the Championship.

I am yet to be indoctrinated into developing the desire to watch football everyday – even when they are replays! No Siree!

However, the few live matches that I went to watch with the boys were totally awesome.

The last one was the Houston Cougars at the NRG stadium, Houston downtown October last year.

There is something electrifying and palpable about watching live matches and the chanting of the supporting crowd.

The camaraderie is totally addictive.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post Fandom

Are you a sports fan? Tell us about fandom. If you’re not, tell us why not.

Image credit: Pinterest.

Family · The Daily Post

Extra TLC…

Women are far more resilient than men and this is a fact. It is not a statement of feminism or trying to create a tug-of-war argument on which sex is stronger.1450633441794[1]

Our endurance faculties, pain threshold, multi-tasking abilities are light years ahead of that of men and you only have to take a good look at an average family woman with a household of children and a spouse to understand my analogy.

A man will have a minor headache and he turns into an attention seeking toddler.

When he has a flu, life almost grinds to a halt and the wife or partner automatically has a mental flu along with him.

On the contrary, in a lot of instances, a woman will be feeling down, yet you will see her juggling housework, family, work and the rest of the shebang like a pro.

It does not mean that she doesn’t appreciate nor needs TLC, but she just gets on with it and does the needful, most especially when you still have a young family to tend.

I have had a situation of being in pre-stages of labour and I was still struggling to conclude the cooking that I was doing before going to the hospital meanwhile, my husband was all flustered and palpitating that he practically hustled me out of the kitchen to the hospital where we then had to wait for hours before the main action started.

If I recall, I think I even quarreled with him for not letting me finish my cooking before harassing me to go and sit idle and experience every ounce of pain. I had preferred to stay busy and keep my mind occupied than panting and counting the minutes.

Years back when my children were still toddlers, there was no moment of respite. It was always go, go, go but now, they have learnt how to do quite a number of things themselves, so, just in case mummy is feeling poorly, they help to make me some sandwich and a nice warm cup of beverage to drink and my hubby then helps with the rubbing down and extra pampering. I never hesitate to ask.

Though there are those times that I feel cranky, snapping like a dragon and just want to be left alone, they know well enough to hide their heads while I am breathing fire, but such moments are so few and far between and they hardly last long.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt Take Care

When you’re unwell, do you allow others to take care of you, or do you prefer to soldier on alone? What does it take for you to ask for help?

Family · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Personal story · The Daily Post

For Sanity’s Sake…

I have always felt that evenings are meant for kicking back and relaxing after a days hectic job, either with family, doing what families do; eat, talk, laugh, squabble, watch TV, do homework etc.Night owl

I would rather close my day reading a good book, or browsing the dailies and just talking off my husbands ears with tidbits of the news.

I also enjoy the quiet time of going through my mailbox or lazily catching up with the blogs, with the sounds of my household in the background.

On days that I feel like stepping out for the night, we could just take a leisurely drive through town, grab a pizza or watch a movie with pop-corn and all the works.

I simply cherish my evenings and due to that, I prefer to do my work in the mornings; bright and early, I am ticking to go and by evening time, I am mentally not in the mood to burn.

The downside with that is that what I cannot get done with by 7pm, gets shoved over to the next day.

It does not escape my mind that there are some whose livelihoods revolve around night jobs.

I truly cannot fathom how they do it, year after year without turning into grumps.

I would go bonkers and probably turn into an ogress – QED.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt Because the night.

Are you a night owl or are you the early bird? What’s your most productive time of day? When do you do your best work?

Devotions · Family · Gratitude · Hope · Life · Parenting · Quotes For You

When It All Goes Downside Up….

Roller CoasterBeing a mother is not a duty that comes with a how-to manual; you simply take on the responsibility with Grace and Hope.

Some days are a fly by the seat of your pants days, where so many things get thrown at you at such speed that you either catch, dodge or get hit.

Yesterday was one of those days. I will not inundate you with all the nitty-gritty, but when you have children, you are always simply in the ”Be prepared mode”, more so with two rough and tumble boys.

One left for school hale and hearty and came back wheeled in with a sprained ankle from a rough game of football. He had scored a goal and the others piled on top of him!

Another came down with a bout of fever and coughing up a storm.

My dear daughter on her own part, appeared puffy faced and teary eyed; her brand new tablet had just been smashed by a careless best friend.

All these within hours of each other and on top of other beckoning, ever- present responsibilities.

”What do you do?”  ”Pull your hair out and get crazy or keep calm and handle the tasks at hand?”

Scene 1. With lots of cold compress, gentle massage and pain relief, we got the ankle to feel fine and he is walking by himself this morning, so we are smiling.

Scene 2. Brewed lots of warm soup, made mugs of fresh squeezed lemon with a dash of boiled ginger and teaspoons of honey, 10mils of Ibuprofen and palliatives; we are still coughing, but fever is down.

Scene 3. A quick retrieval of warranty for the tablet and mummy has to go and see if something can be done about it.

So there it is. All in a days job.

Today, I am thankful for God’s protection and grace over my family.

I am grateful for serenity in chaotic moments.

There is always something to be thankful for. What is your heart grateful for today?

You can join Colline’s  or Maria Jansson gratitude challenge platforms.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Family · Life · Personal story · The Daily Post

When They Came Calling…

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My growing years was in a community where visitors didn’t need to announce their intentions before paying a call. It was simply the way it was.

It was normal to see hundreds of honorary aunties and uncles floating through the doors of my parents house and my parents returned the same courtesy.

Ours was a calm, intellectual and laid-back University community where the evenings after work were spent by the gentlemen at the staff club or folks visiting each other.

They would talk and eager laughter would echo through the house while they ate garden eggs and alligator pepper. Bottles of beer accompanied these relaxing moments and they recounted their tales.

I grew up with extended family drifting in and out of our home and it was likewise in so many other homes that I knew. As a matter of fact, some extended family members were permanent members of the household.

Meals were always prepared in extra quantities so that unanticipated guests would have a warm plate of rice or whatever was available; and it was always enough.

It didn’t matter how tight the house was, there was always room for one more and it was almost tantamount to an abomination for your folks to have to make a special request before they could come calling.

That was the mentality of hospitality back then, but times are certainly changing.

However, it was still such a pleasure that when I went home in August, visitors were still floating in and out to see my mother and I am certainly grateful for them being there and helping to take her mind off things.

So, assuming that I come home and see a strange couple in my house eating a slice of cake in my living room, my primary concern would be to find out if they are menacing, especially since they are unknown.

How did they get in? Are my family okay and not under duress?

As long as everything is as it should be and that they didn’t break into my home, but were let in quietly, I will then settle down to know who they are and why they came calling.

Maybe they are just the new neighbours who came by to get acquainted and my husband is being very magnanimous with my freshly baked cake and my inquisitive self would love to get to know them a bit better.

You never know what story may be lurking in there in their midst.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt unexpected guests.

You walk into your home to find a couple you don’t know sitting in your living room, eating a slice of cake. Tell us what happens next.

Creative Writing · Family · Life · Love · Poetry/Poems · Writing 101

She Called Him Mine….

enduring-love

They loved so much,

That a blind could see it.

The fruits of their love,

Was quite clear to me.

She called him mine,

And he called her Nkem,

Which also meant mine.

They were each others backbone,

One couldn’t go where

The other would not go.

And this way they stayed together,

From their youthfulness,

To their greying years.

Till death stole Mine away from Nkem.

Now, I watch my mother flounder,

Without my dad by her side.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

There’s always room for more poetry about love — and @vijayasundaram2015‘s prompt, Beloved, invites you to take a fresh stab at a timeless topic.

”Thank you Vijaya” 🙂

Creative Writing · Family · Life · Love · Personal story · Photographs · Poetry/Poems · Writing 101

I Thought That I Knew…

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I heaved and panted.

With all my might,

I pushed.

Till I thought that,

Every vein within,

Would burst with pressure.

And I hated every moment,

Of such horrendous pain.

Wondering what was the gain?

Until I beheld the squalling bundles,

And their curious little eyes.

I felt their fist snatch tight,

And held my heart very fast.

The pain flew out of the window,

The light of the gain shone bright.

As I tumbled completely in love,

Without hindrance, I fell.

Realizing that I had no idea whatsoever

I thought I knew it before.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

There’s always room for more poetry about love — and @vijayasundaram2015‘s prompt, Beloved, invites you to take a fresh stab at a timeless topic.

”Thank you Vijaya” 🙂

Creative Writing · Family · Love · Poetry/Poems · Writing 101

Through His Iris…

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Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here…

And the rest of the word floated…

…Over my head

The thrum of blood in my veins slowed down to a sludge,

My heartbeats changing it’s tandem,

So as to echo yours,

A splash of fruity yet full bodied wine into the glinting flutes,

The clinking of cheers at the tips,

We imbibed our first sips,

Now bound together at the hips.

My eyes beheld and clung to yours,

In deep search for the echo of my thoughts.

In there a mirror of myself, I found,

Caught up in the warmth of your iris.

Days have come and gone,

The years have rolled on by,

Yet every time I gaze into those eyes,

They have stayed the same.

With the mirror of me,

Held in the warmth of your iris.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Writing 101, Day 7 Beloved

There’s always room for more poetry about love — and @vijayasundaram2015‘s prompt, Beloved, invites you to take a fresh stab at a timeless topic.

”Thank you Vijaya”

A link to my neighbours/Community · Blogging · Family

Missing In Action…Have You Seen Him?

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What do you do when a blogger that you have become attached to just ups and suddenly disappears into thin air?

I met an awesome Christian blogger and we were consistently  supportive of each other and I loved his quiet reflections. Sometime ago, he hinted on changes going on in his life though he was not specific and I didn’t needle to pry, but I sensed his unhappiness.

For several weeks, going on two months actually, he has neither posted nor visited and bantered with me like he would and after waiting for a while and missing his blessings sufficiently, I decided to go looking for him.

It was  a shock to find his blog was now private and needed a password. I sent a request for access some  3 weeks ago and not a peep.

I am almost tempted to mention his name and ask if anyone has seen him floating around cyber-space and just to know that he is fine and didn’t do something stupid.

Then I simply whispered a prayer in my heart hoping that all is well with him. That whatever his problems were, I hope he has found sufficient grace to surmount them.

I have tried to find reasons not to worry, yet my mind wanders now and again to my friend and it is a bit surprising to realize how much I care.

How much a great number of people that I have met here mean to me.

How overtime our blogging friends start feeling familiar and like extended family.

How we develop attachments with total strangers across the globe.

I realized that maybe I am putting too much of my personal emotions in the friendships developed here, thinking that maybe, I should feel detached so that I wouldn’t notice if someone is missing in action; but that is simply not who I am.

Even bloggers who are blogging incognito, I have assigned voices and faces to their ambiguous status.

I can start writing a long list of bloggers that I will miss if I don’t see them for a bit and my list would be so long because I think I virtually follow everyone who follows me.

I simply think that if they find me worth spending their time on, then they are worth spending my time on as well.

So, I guess this is blogging life. Now here, tomorrow gone :/ Not happy.

Please, to all my blogger friends, do let us know when you want to run along and I want to let you know that I appreciate meeting you in this space and time wherever you are.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha