April is over and out, the first quarter done and dusted. As always I reflect on everything and nothing. I am learning that as a human being that all I can truly do each day is to give the best of my best. Yet there are days that my best falls below par and my head hammers at me that I’m not doing enough, but my heart keeps still and asks for harmony.
There are those days when the vagaries of life dictate the pace of my thought and actions even when I don’t want them to be so. Trying to live a purposeful – focused life has many positive fruits but can also come at a cost.
Those ambitions that faithfully dog my step and grasp my heart fail to let go. Instead, their demands to be achieved increase and there many times that I feel strong and know that I can do it all, yet there are many of those shaky moments when I wonder if I am being a fool for aspiring for so much?
I have been doing all that I do afraid, but with faith. Yet, I’m equally worried that I may never get it right but never worried enough to willingly stop trying.
I know without doubts that there are many like me. Those whose ambitions keep their thoughts racing and their hearts thumping in excited prospects, at the same time they are nervous at the thoughts of failing. I’ve failed in many things in my life, but for the life of me, I am never going to give up on my aspirations.
It may seem like a fool’s dream to want to succeed when one feels like they are between the Spring and Autumn of their lives. Someone, please tell me that I am not a fool having a mid-life crisis of wanting dreams that appear too tall to reach.
© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha