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When Enough is Enough!…

jacquelineobyikocha

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Not saying no was a problem I battled with for a long time. I was always going above and beyond to assist people and this left me feeling pressured and even created very uncomfortable situations for me in the past.

A lot of times, once someone came to me with their issues, I sought ways to help alleviate their challenges, to help them as much as I could, until I learnt that people will bleed you for whatever you are worth until you become a limp rag and that saying no, is not a crime.

Back then not being able to readily assist someone practically gave me depression. I was left with the feeling of failing to help, which would sit within me for quite some time, even when I knew that I was not in a position to offer the assistance that they sought at that point in time.

At some point in time, I was a member to so many groups and serving in the group in one capacity or the other, that my life was always hectic and inundating.

It was in praying for myself that I realized that my sanity mattered more than what other people thought about my declining their offers and requests, so I started chopping off the strings to make space for me to breath.

Now, saying no is not a hardship, especially when I don’t feel spiritually in tune with the request.

I am not in a bid to impress anyone and if I am in a position to help someone, or to serve, I go ahead and do so, on my own terms.

If I am not in a position to help, I simply state that fact and it is what it is.

The Daily Post Sorry I am busy.

Tell us about a time when you should have helped someone… but didn’t.

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Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

38 thoughts on “When Enough is Enough!…”

  2. My wife and I were the same. I found the most joy came from learning the word, “NO!” For instance, I’m all for helping out in the church and not being a pew sitter. However, I have an ailing father in law who needs me more than the church needs me at the moment.

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  5. Great post. I’m at that point in my life, right now. To be filled with so much love to give, you forget to love yourself, 1st. Thanks for the reminder. #NOTHINGMatters

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  7. I CAN RELATE! This has been me most of my life, not anymore. For the people that matters the most I will always say yes, for others I’ve learned that I don’t have to give an answer the very second they ask. Sometimes it just make sense to think about it for a little bit. Maybe our realizations means that we are growing up ? 😉

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  8. Great post! Although I am always on the other extreme, meaning I say “no” pretty easily, I can identify with the post as it may apply to other things in my life that I have a hard time doing. All the best!

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  9. Been there, done that, and I agree. Even though, I still have to fight the urge to fill in the gaps for someone I love but I bolster myself knowing that everyone deserves their own life and their own struggles. Spoiling people doesn’t help them it just makes them weak.

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  12. I was a people pleaser once before as well…it’s definitely a tough road to travel. As you said, at some point you’ve got to put your own sanity before what other people think. It’s very liberating.

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  15. Amen, Jacqueline!! I had a hard time with saying no as well, but as I grew older, and I would like to think wiser (lol), I realized that the relationship we need to take care of alongside with our relationship with God is ourselves. We can’t be of good ministry to others if we are letting ourselves fall apart. Wonderful reminder of self-love and preservation!

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  19. The Reading Cottage: The Platform For Books, Health, Music, Features, Tourism And Travel's avatar The Reading Cottage: The Platform For Books, Feature Articles, Book Reviews, Interview, Culture, Lifestyle , Entertainment says:

    Jacqueline, I don’t know how many times, I will repeat I like your style of writing and articles.Thanks sharing these wonderful articles. I wish one day we shall co-write a book. Take good care of yourself.

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I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..