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Was I A Peeping Tom?…personal

jacquelineobyikocha

1447864640326[1]Feeling like an outsider is not a memory that I can latch on to easily as a child because while growing up, my parents home was teeming with family members, hard work and a lot of play that there was no room left to feel left out.

However, these silly pangs showed their green eyes during my semi-adult early years at the University.

I was a freshman and boy-friendless at that point in time, my senior roommates all had their heartthrobs, going out for parties and what have you and in a bid to feel like part of the crowd, I bowed to peer influence (which is not only very real but can be dangerous as well) and duly started dating to foster my own false sense of belonging.

Peer pressure can be subtly or out-rightly intimidating and when a budding young person is ensnared by some of these trappings of false freedom (away from home and parental influence that have cocooned you for so long) for the first time, it can be a combustion of a whole lot of factors, without paying mind to extraneous complications or consequences.

Sometimes, I look back and truly thank God from the depth of my soul that I did not wind up dead by some of the youthful escapades and exuberance that my adventurous self ventured into – a story that can create a book.

Now as a full grown adult, I have grown into my own sense of self-assurance, self-love, self-inclusion and belonging, sufficiently enough, to create my own windows and not have to peep into the neighbours own.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post prompt The Outsiders

Tell us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.

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Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

27 thoughts on “Was I A Peeping Tom?…personal”

  1. To think about the stupid things done as a young adult and then think about the whole array of possibilities for our own children (to mess up)…we can only hope they make it out as unscathed as we have. Some choices have eternal consequences, but we sometimes don’t realize that until the later years in life.

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    1. True Tasha. Very true. In our own case, we didn’t even have all the privileges and the paraphernalia that today’s children have. I just pray each day that I do half a decent job in imparting useful values on my kids. It was simply God’s grace that kept us during those young adult days.

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  2. When I saw the title, I thought of something else, but you pulled me in and presented a great article. I found the concept of “fitting in” to be a pain in the butt during my teenage years so I stopped and did my own thing. Ironically, by not trying to fit in, I began to attract individuals around me. We were always told as kids to not let Peer Pressure bother us, but that message seems to not be spread anymore. Being an individual means standing apart from the crowd.

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    1. I am happy the title reeled you in 😉 Indeed, the fitting in as a teenager can be a real pain if not well managed. Good thing you became a lone wolf and set your own boundaries. Now I am trying to teach my children the values of being able to stand on their own and not bowing to peer pressure. Thank you Wallace for this insightful comment.

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      1. We’ll never get away totally from Society’s demands for conformity. That’s simply part of what makes Civilization work. However, one piece of advice that has served me well is to “Do your own thing but don’t advertise.” 🙂

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  3. I think we all fall prey to this sort of “need to belong” one way or another. I myself thank God all the time that things didn’t wind up worse than they did for me. Funny how those things can matter so much when you’re young and then seem so laughable as an adult. Now, at 32, I find myself wishing I could just go back and be a more responsible yet lonesome adolescent because I’d be in a much better place NOW for it.

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    1. I know what you mean. Unfortunately, we cannot erase the past, we can only move on and make the future better and brighter. At that impressionable age it is really amazing the meaningless things that seemed to matter. Thank you very much for stopping by and sharing your comments. I appreciate your time. Regards.

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  4. I went completely wild after I was old enough to be on my own. I, too, am thankful I survived unscathed. I want my child to make better choices than I did when he gets that age, although I’m uncertain as to how to accomplish this. Is there anything that you’re going to do differently from your parents when yours become that age, or do you think this is an individual thing and young adults are going to go through it no matter what? I just remember thinking, “I’m an adult and no one can tell me what to do,” and that was my attitude too. I think I still rebel when someone tries to tell me to do something, haha.

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    1. A child will definitely have their own individuality but what I think helps is to start early to impart certain values in their lives, like respect for self and others, love, kindness etc. These will act like compass when they grow older even if they stray.

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  8. Oh my, there are things I would not do or do differently — many things! I hope that I was saved by the basic values my parents taught me (and the grace of God!) When I think about college and when I was out so late, all before even cell phones!

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  9. Until I went to college, I was girl-friendless too, but in India, that’s the sign of being a nice-boy. There was a girl in my class though. She handed me a love-note, and I promptly handed it over to the teacher. Wifey thinks that when I was a kid, I was a pompous idiot. (Note that her use of past-tense makes me feel good.)

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  10. never felt the need to belong…perhaps because I never stayed in a place for more than a year or two…so I was always the odd-kid out, and to make matters worse, I preferred to be alone, usually to draw. My knowledge of peer-pressure is mostly from the environment 🙂 but I can imagine how terrible it must be for a child. Nice post.

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I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..