Child-Loss – a cooking pot and twisted tales

As the feverish rigors shook her body, she mumbled to him; “If the baby dies, don’t wake me up!”

She was sedated to calm her down and stabilize her blood pressure.

Too many pregnancies she had lost and had much hope that this one would survive, yet it looked like a futile dream.

It was a battle against fate and time as the doctors raced to try and save the neo-natal.

He sat by her bedside, torn apart inside as tears silently dripped down his cheeks and he prayed like he had never prayed before.

Footnote: I had a double mind about writing this short story, but this is a piece of my story. A piece of my journey and I daresay many other women have walked down this torturous path and to those who are in the Lord’s waiting room for fruits of the womb, I say “Hold on.”

Below is my first just published Poetry Book “Out of the silent breath” which is available on Amazon and Smashwords.

When you buy my book, you support me in an invaluable manner.

Jacqueline writes from her heart on passion, pain, suffering, loss and LIFE. I have been incredibly moved by her poetry and I know I will return to “Out of the Silent Breath” again and again.

If you enjoy my works and would like to do so, you can fuel my creativity with a slice of cake or coffee

Obstacles. No single existence is devoid of hurdles to jump as they journey through their path in life and these encompasses all living things. The strength of a plant is predetermined from the state of its seed, thus even before we make our grand entry into this World, we possibly started our struggles right from the womb that bore us.

These hurdles come in different forms and in various shapes and sizes. Some knock us so hard on our backside, flat on our faces or at the cusp of a precipice where we are left grasping for release from the clenching holds that threatens to suffocate us to death.

Every human enjoys having a good sense of well-being and in the midst of these trials, a human can literally clutch at straws in the bid to stand upright. They either turn to the bottle, drugs or the Lord, seeking for strength.

Severe depression and suicide are the end result of a life that finds no glimmer of hope at the end of the turbulence that they are passing through. At that point in time, it seems as if the demons that they battle overwhelms and the only way to end the torment would be to stop living.

I have been in very deep pits. I have battled mental health, mental torture, and depression. There have been points in my life where the misery that permeated every pore of me was a living, breathing pain.

One of the instances, I would briefly share for now is when I lost my pre-term child. Please believe me when I say that the pain is beyond words. I carried this beautiful being inside me, but for some reason that I don’t know, I left the hospital after hours of horrendous labour with empty hands.

Fortunately, I have no head for drinks, no penny for drugs and never felt suicidal. I clung to the Cross and to writing. With every fibre in me, I held on and my husband held me.

God, family, friends, books and writing, have been my greatest support. When I am crossing one of my many rivers, I look up above, I look around me and I look forward. Life is a constant battlefield in our minds and except we personally buffer ourselves and wage an onslaught to find peace, we remain subjugated by these trials.

What I have learnt over the years is not to wait for the boat to get rocked, but to be mentally prepared to steer the boat as it rocks, so that I don’t capsize.

A couple of books that helped me when I struggled through these obstacles are, The battlefield of the mind, Your best life begins each morning, Purpose driven life, Women Of Faith Bible and lots more.

Writing my own books has been a challenge of doubt, of wondering if I am good enough. Of constantly questioning myself about who would want to be bothered to read my words when there are billions of books out there, but you know what, I said to myself, Jacqueline, you may not get it right, you may not be the best out there, but my girl, you are definitely more than good enough.

So that’s another hurdle jumped. Publishing my first poetry book is a positive affirmation that indeed, I might stumble in my quest but instead of the obstacles making me fall behind, they will cause me to stumble forward and give me some fulfilment.

Buying my book will go a long way to support me and clicking to purchase from any of those links will possibly earn me a commission of a few cents, but this is yet another curve in my journey. Finding ways to break through the obstacle and earn from the sweat of my brow.

Obstacles, The Discover Challenge