Category: Humor – Bellyful of laughter

Creative Writing · Humor - Bellyful of laughter

Dance with glee…a chance to be silly

jacquelineobyikocha15 Comments

elephants - jokes123I love to dance,
Indeed, I do.

My blood thrums at the
Rhythm of musical vibes.

Anything that beats, gets a rise off me

But, hold on!
Don’t be mistaken when I say that.

Don’t you start thinking of
Ballroom dancing, Waltzing, Tango and the likes.

For sure, these are such fine footwork.

But I am more into the demonstrative Afro Pop,
Waist rolling, Eye rolling, Expressions and
staccato moves. Almost like a war dance that borders on dodgy.

I think that the twirls and frills of the fine footwork,
Are more reserved for the delicate that
Can twirl and toss themselves at the click of your thumb.

Me! If you know me at all,
Almost an African Amazon,
Not small by half a mile!

I chortle in laughter when I visualize myself,
Trying to Tango, in my Bou-bou or skirt.

It would probably be like an Elephant stumping through a China shop,
And breaking the ten toes of my partner and more
Phew!

A bead of sweat breaks on my forehead,
At such a thought 😉

Now let me go and rest, after such exertion of my mind.

P.S. Enjoy the music below, courtesy of YouTube.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Image courtesy: http://www.jokes123.com

Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Little rants · Social critic

Famished and angry…just a little rant

jacquelineobyikocha6 Comments

garfield

You put up a mouth-watering signage,

With delectable looking dishes on display,

Advertising the best Seafood,

In the entire seven continents,

You cared not to up another one,

To warn us about your sloppy service,

Or to inform us,

That we would have to sit for ages, 😦

Nibbling on our nails as appetizers,

Whilst waiting for your ever elusive menu,

And after waiting for ages,

A mere sliver of questionable sea fare,

Of dodgy this and that,

Barely sufficient,

And hardly palatable.

But haste you made,

No waste in collecting your wage.

Just so you know,

In the time I sat on your mat,

Like a fat cat,

I could have caught a Fat Trout,

At a cheaper route.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Creative Writing · Humor - Bellyful of laughter

Flat butt or what?.. Silly thinking

jacquelineobyikocha19 Comments
Camera 360
Writer at Work

Do writers end up with a flat butt or what?

Sitting here at my desk, scribble, scribble, scribble,

type, type, type,

with a pillow under my gluteus maximus

cushioning the impact of wood on muscles

Yet I still feel the deflation of air from behind

Bringing such silly thought to my mind

What if? I question myself,

My aspirations, lead to deflation’s,

And I end up with a flat behind?

That would be a Rear End 🙂

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Creative Writing · Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Musings

Indeed love can grow; for my car at least..

jacquelineobyikocha5 Comments

corvette

Bonding is really a question of giving time to someone or something and allowing their finer qualities to get to you.

Even a disagreeable person has someone who finds him/her agreeable after a while of spending time together.

Like we say back home: Monkey no fine, but him mama like am (no matter how ugly the monkey is, his mother is quite enthused with him).

In my case, the love and bonding is between my car and I.

It’s not that my SUV is ugly. No! Far from it. But as the name depicts, it is still a Sport Utility Van. Made to accommodate my brood and I, plus the excessive grocery bags.

In my head, I am a classy diva and when my husband wanted to get me a new car, I wanted a snazzy red corvette to paint the town in lovely colors. I could see myself cruising down Beltway 8 or i10 with my sun roof down and a scarf carelessly slung round my neck and my kinky hair (not flowing like the locks of a Caucasian damsel) bouncing, maybe just a little. I would wear an over-sized pair of dark sunglasses and a whole lot of attitude. I went to sleep for several nights with a happy smile on my face 🙂

I craftily dropped hints all over the place for my Corvette desire to dear husband of mine, but he looked at me with that expression of ” where did you fall and hit your head?” promptly explaining to me, that as a matronly mama, I should have an accommodating car, so that the children can have enough room and to leave the snazzy bits for retirement or when they have all gone off to College/University. Reluctantly throwing my sunroof cruising thoughts out of the window, I grudgingly acquiesced.

We went ahead and purchased my sedate looking (white for that matter) SUV, and our romance began. Every morning, I would start her (her name is Gloria) and she will respond with a perfect hum. Gloria, has been very faithful and loving these past months. No day did she nag or grumble. No day did she fail to work as expected. She was good in all weather, rain or shine. As I am about to trade Gloria in, I am jolted with the realization, that indeed, I have come to love my dependable SUV, white color and all and that I would miss her. I could not paint the town the colors that I wanted, but she did get me around as often as I needed.

Not that I have forgotten my snazzy Corvette, there’s still a whole lot of time for that 😉

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Creative Writing · Humor - Bellyful of laughter

Just a bit of nonsense…

jacquelineobyikocha6 Comments

woman in sunset - namaste

Doing a hip hop on the bridge top,

Oh dear! There goes her top,

And the big tops, just go flip, flop,

She went skinny dip, submerged to her lips,

Sailors on the ship, were amazed by the hips,

Sailor one hails; There lies a fair maid,

Sailor two bails; No! She is just a mermaid,

Do not invade, for you’ll be betrayed,

Alas! That would end our trade.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

🙂 and the World smiles with you

Image credit: namastehappiness.com

Humor - Bellyful of laughter · Inspiration - Motivation · Musings

Make Haste, make haste…

jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

Snail

Make haste, make haste!

Grandma kept saying.

A stitch in time saves nine!

She reiterated.

And I kept ignoring,

Not trying to understand.

Her imploring words to make haste,

Were but a sign.

Now I understand,

Quite literally, I say.

That little hole in my pants,

Just turned into one major tear.

I now need fifty stitches plus more,

Not even nine will suffice.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Humor - Bellyful of laughter

Flying Tomatoes…

jacquelineobyikocha1 Comment
flying tomato
Flying Tomatoes

I love to cook,

seriously, I do.

But seriously,

Not when the lightning flash and sparks,

of threatening flying tomato sauce,

are jumping out of the pan,

and chasing me around my kitchen counter,

almost cowering in the cupboard,

for safety 😉

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

Photo credit * doonidesigns.

Humor - Bellyful of laughter

The scale on my head…

jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

weight scale

Who created the weighing scale, If I may ask?

Who was that overzealous person that apportioned clothes sizes?

Can someone please tell me?

Who was it that decided,

that my pudgy good self,

my sexy and I know it self,

Is just not the cutting edge shape?

Well, if I must tell you,

since you need to know,

its just my awesomeness spilling all over.

Besides, I need my extra curves,

to keep me warm on cold nights.

That’s all! 😉

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

P.S. Photo credit: The comedy card company.

Humor - Bellyful of laughter

Witchy witch…

jacquelineobyikochaLeave a comment

I looked in the mirror,

Arrrrgh!

I frightened myself!

Who is that crazy looking lady?

Surely not I?

Her hair was sticking out at all angles,

Her eyes bleary, like she had spent the night on a witch hunt.

Is that a hair I see on my chin?

Oh my!

All I need is a hooky nose,

To complete the look.

Now, where is my wand?

So that I can do SHAZZAAM!

And in a POOF!

Cinderella, I am.

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha 🙂

Humor - Bellyful of laughter

A Silly Tune

jacquelineobyikocha3 Comments

Sometime in the month of June

I met a lad called Fortune

He played quite a fine tune

Which made me to swoon

Alas! Now I am due at noon