What does beauty mean to you? Feminine beauty has been construed in many ways and from varied perceptions of the world. It has been depicted through images and concepts that penetrates and rests in our minds, but one simple definition of beauty which we seem to fail to focus on is that beauty is happiness that glows from within.
This line of thought came to me as I stood before my bathroom mirror for several more moments than usual, undertaking an intimate survey of my body. With critical eyes, I noted the tiny indelible laughter lines beside my lips, little spots left by an acne or two, liberal trails of cellulite, jelly-belly from childbearing; the inevitable southbound movement of ex-perky body parts and the countless greys peeking out here and there.
Nonetheless, I also took note of the fact that as detracting and as imperfect as those marks were, the times I’ve felt most beautiful such as I feel at this moment in time are not the times when my skin shone flawlessly, when my body is as tight and svelte as ever or when I was impeccably dressed to suit any standard.
I stood beautiful with my messy locs sticking in all directions. I love the beauty of my washed face, devoid of any makeup, the battle scar of my appendicectomy, the precious blemishes from skin stretched to accommodate the growth of each child borne of my womb, all the lines etched by time; I pulsate with life.
It’s these indescribable sensations of inner joy, respect and acceptance of every inch of who we are that ignites the flame of confidence and beauty that radiates. We are all unique individuals with experiences and memories that form the fabric of who we are and make us our own version of beauty.
As I stood before my mirror in all my personal glory subconsciously performing tweaks, I understood how powerful our perception of our body image and beauty inadvertently affects us. The results in front of our mirrors are not just as simple as they may seem but portray deeper perception of the viewers’ eyes.
Image credit – pexels
We live in a world where body image matters. We live in a world where people find it comfortable to body shame others who fall short of their measuring tape especially when it pertains to the feminine beauty. We live in a world where many are consumed with portraying the right image that in a bid to ‘be that perception of beauty’ they become destructive of both the external and the internal and this makes me wonder; what is the depth of one’s beauty? Is it skin deep or surface shallow?
How critical are you to yourself? Do you feel that as you age you lose your beauty because your body has gone all national geographic heading for different directions and you are losing elasticity due to the force of nature’s gravity that no Wonderbra and Spanx can keep in check? Does the fact that you are ageing affect your confidence? What would you do to keep your perceived reflection of yourself the way you want it?
Ageing is not a permission to let ourselves fall to pieces, however, the older I get, the kinder I am to myself and less critical of those who choose to go the extra length to look after themselves and being happy doing it. I know that body image matters a great deal but in the larger scheme of all things beautiful, it should be about striking the right balance. I understand the attempt of women who refurbish their feminine bits through surgery, breast implants, and other procedures.
Our bodies are mere shelters of who we truly are, and no singular image, culture or concept can define our beauty ‘cos our beauty is made of precious moments of being alive and as is commonly said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, I would assume that the first and most important set of beholding eyes should belong to the owner of the body beheld.
a cooking pot and twisted tales 
Deep post..Jacque…the beauty is being defined by media…all set under some materialistic marketing thoughts…. lucky are those who escape from this business trap and feel comfortable in their own skin….
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True Akhila. They sell these concepts to fatten their already bulging pockets and sadly the younger ones are unduly influenced until they come to a better place of understanding and acceptance.
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I agree with Akhila, beauty is defined by the media, and IMO antiquated mindsets. Those that body shame others need to take a good look at themselves because inner beauty is far superior to outer beauty. Ageing is a process every human will experience, and all the surgeries in the world don’t make a beautiful person.
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It’s sad how society has allowed media and other cosmetic corporations to dictate what beauty means and unfortunately this affects the younger generation in deeper ways than words can say. It takes maturity of the mind to discern the difference between inner and outer beauty and to realize that inner beauty outweighs the external. No amount of nips, tucks, smoothing etc can change ugliness.
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I think true beauty is found in a person’s soul..and their actions towards others. it isn’t a “pretty face or body”.
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Indeed true beauty lies in the soul and not the surface.
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Wonderful piece Jackelyn. Thoughtful, reasonable, and well presented in an understandable and relatable way. One thing I note about physical beauty for women is that it is somewhere btw caring about your appearance and not caring too much. Sometimes that’s an extremely difficult balance. But I like how you say a woman should determine her own beauty for this takes away what others might perceive & places the oneness on the woman to decide her beauty at every stage in life. Someone who is intrinsically confident and beautiful radiates a beauty which is much different than the nervous beauty of many young women, too afraid of what others will think. But then I also think, true beauty is learned with acceptance of oneself.
Anyways cheers Jacqueline and Merry Christmas to you & your family.
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Well said Mandi. I believe it’s taken maturity to get to understand these things. Self-acceptance that others can’t hammer into is key to building one’s confidence and ultimately happiness that is fostered within. Thanks for your detailed comment. Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family 🙂
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I couldn’t agree more
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I really love this post. This part “We live in a world where people find it comfortable to body shame others who fall short of their measuring tape especially when it pertains to the feminine beauty.” Reminds me of a post i wrote on making peace with yourself.
https://debby000.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/peacemakers/
Our bodies are mere shelter. I like that you brought that perspective of how the older you get, the kinder you are to yourself, and less critical of others who choose to go the extra length.
Merry Christmas.
http://Www.debby000.WordPress.com
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Thank you, dear Debby. I wish you and your loved ones the best of 2018.
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Thank you😊. I wish you the same.
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As the expression goes, “Beauty is only skin deep.”
At my age I wish my insides were in working order.
Like the above photo says everything on and in me is Out of Order. Aging is not for sissies.
Beauty standards are set by the media and society.
That’s why our favorite actresses disappear after age 40.
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Aging is certainly not for sissies. It comes with a whole world of its own baggage.
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The goal should be to remain healthy. I’m all for facials, manicures, pedicures and pampering but plastic surgery can be dangerous and if the doctor messes up then one can be worse off instead of better.
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All the music videos and movies feature women unde 40. Big Booty and big butts. Small waist. In my work as a museum security guard I often see the movie stars, the rich and famous.
I see many wealthy women.
Rich socialites. Botox, fillers and plastic surgery is the order of the day. After all in order to keep that wealthy husband and maintain their standing in their world one must have work done. Life is based on Looks as opposed to substance.
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It’s just sad that we base our assessment and judgement of others only on their outward appearance. A lot of folks hide their ugliness beneath mink coats and I think a woman going through all that stress just to keep a man has misplaced her sense of self somewhere.
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True that! Plus sometimes the face is pulled tight but the neck and hands are still wrinkled with age spots. Their faces have turned into Kabuki masks!
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I’m often mistaken for a man dozens of times over the ten years I’ve worked at the museum. So Yes if I had extra money to splurge for breast enhancement I would do it.
I want to look like a woman not a 14 year old boy.
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Ha, ha! I actually laugh and shake my head at your comment. Here I am wishing I could reduce mine just a wee bit. They seem to have gotten bigger with having children and aging.
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My Mom had big breasts but I didn’t inherit them.
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Nearly age 60 and still a Member of the Itty bitty Titty Committee!
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Ha, ha! I just saw this comment. Sis, if you know how much I wished for itty bitty titty but alas my endowment spills over!
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I wish there was something like a portion boobs transfer. Then you could go down and me up!
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Our beauty certainly goes beyond the definition of physical flawlessness we try to paint. Each person is different, unique and beautiful… Self acceptance and appreciation is very important.
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I wish my younger self had known some of these things. Self-acceptance is the key to a happy life.
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Reblogged this on femininematerz and commented:
You need to feel good about yourself lady. Your beauty goes far beyond your physical appearance… The extra additions. And as you age… You are still beautiful! A deep post by Jacqueline.
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Thank you, sis. Sometimes we need to take a deeper look and find out what truly matters especially when it comes to beauty matters.
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Great article my Queen, I can relate. Please read and share when you have time.
https://humanitymustrise.wordpress.com/2017/09/02/ukweli-uchi/
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Thank you 🙂
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