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Just my two cents worth of an opinion….

jacquelineobyikocha

baby in the womb

Yesterday as I went through my mails to read the posts of fellow bloggers, an article from A Loco Viva Voce  on birth control and unconventional methods piqued my interest and I decided to follow my nose to see if anything new has been discovered.

Well, to my disappointment no new methods have been found but I became privy to titillating gossip that Kate Middleton could be expecting another child – mind you this is still at rumor stage. Of course, my investigative senses couldn’t resist this morsel of information so I followed the link.

Digesting the rumor and the attendant comments of busy-bodies, I left a comment on A Loco Viva Voce’s blog which reads:

“Interesting! Let’s not be hasty in casting aspersions at anyone yet for getting pregnant a tad too early if that rumor is true. So many people have been caught in the heat of the moment 😉

I had a whole lot that I wanted to say about the post and the rumor which we can twist around from here to seven Sundays, but I will just stick to a few observations.

About the birth control methods:

I wanted to express my disappointment that after reviewing the proposed methods of birth control, it is still the same proffered methods that have been available for decades, which are by the way heavily skewed to the female gender. That no new alternatives have been developed for the menfolk asides from good old condom and abstinence (when they are forced to abstain).

I have been privy of a situation where a lady got pregnant after a failed family planning method and her husband went bonkers. It took the intervention of third parties to calm the swirling emotions (and my question was, did he not participate in the act? Is the responsibility of planning their family not for both of them? A whole new conversation in itself).

I have also been privy to the situation of a friend who got sterilized based on her husbands insistence, whilst he guarded his family jewels and continued his licentious affair with the nanny. Today, they are separated and she regrets getting sterilized.

Where am I heading to with these examples, you might care to ask?

My question is: Why is it that the pertinent issue of family planning seems to be borne by women mostly and in a whole lot of instances, prolonged application of some of these methods leads to one health complication or the other? When will more inroads be made to develop alternate methods for men? Some pills should be good for them too 😉

Let’s not delve into the moral side of these things for now.

About the Rumor:

In the case of Kate Middleton getting pregnant shortly after having a baby:

I wanted to say, whose business is it anyway? The last time I checked, they are legally married and it is their prerogative what they choose to do in their matrimonial home.

I wanted to add that it is not our affair to dictate to a married couple how many kids they should have and how they should have them – except in the circumstance of life and death.

I needed to voice an opinion that sometimes these accidents do happen in the bedroom shortly after a new baby, because at the best of times, even the best of brains tend to become scrambled when looking after very young ones.

Is there an explanation as to why she gets insulted for an act that is her marital right and indulged in by both parties – it is not as if she was caught in flagrante delicto with an outsider?

About the comments people made:

I wanted to remind people that, in as much as there is freedom of expression and the anonymity which the virtual World offers, it is wrong to write very insulting commentary about others – but then again, we have some miserable humans and in a World where leaders and Presidential aspirants can spout virulent nonsense, anything is almost permissible.

We should remember that our manners count both online and offline.

Whose business is it anyway?

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

In response to: Writing 101 – Day 8: Expand a comment

 

 

 

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Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

53 thoughts on “Just my two cents worth of an opinion….”

  1. Bravo and standing ovation!!!! let’s not forget, a women is extremely fertile right after giving birth! I read this post on my phone while in bed but had to get up and respond on my desktop computer….you go girl, you sure know how to bring things to light!!!

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  2. Very well said Jacqueline! Your points are really valid. Why is birth control a sole responsibility of women? It’s not fair!
    With the news that Kate might be pregnant again, I am giddy about that! George and Charlotte are both adorable! So let’s just be happy. 😀

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  3. LOVE,LOVE, LOVE this, I can identity with two points here. One-My husband went bonkers after I told him I was pregnant for a second time, our first daughter was then four. He claimed he only wanted one child, and that we couldn’t afford another, this after my giving up a career, on his insistence. I stood my grounds, kept MY child, and started a home base business that eventually expanded to a store base business. We divorced a few years later, the only thing I took with me were my two daughters, he fought for custody LOST!! I remember the magistrate discussing alimony, child support and selling of the family home for funds to be divided. But I refused, didn’t want to go through a worthless battle as I was already comfortable in my income, all I wanted were my children. Today I’m happily remarried, with two beautiful children (20 and 16). Many times I wondered what my life would’ve been like had I not stood my grounds and aborted my second child.

    You know many countries often talk about women’s rights, with some even boasting about being the forefront of equality for women. Why then is it that contraception relies solely on us?

    Agree with you 100% on the Kate Middleton story. But people just have too much time on their hands or are so bored with their own lies, they take pride in living the lives of others.

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    1. I love your response. YES! I love the fact that you stood your ground and kept your child and now you have two beautiful children. You would have been living with the regret of aborting your baby. It really can be very patronizing and annoying when a woman is meant to bend over double and backwards to please a guy, who is probably going to hot-trot off at the slightest blow of a whistle. I wish I could give you a star for this comment. Well, I will give you a virtual hug nonetheless. Kind regards 🙂

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    2. I love your response, too. You are a warrior and understand the true meaning of family. The family unit is to be protected and you fought for your children. Your home business was possible because you needed a way to support them. Your instincts as a mother led you to do the right thing by them. You came out on top. I applaud you. x

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  5. I agree with you Jacqueline that mistakes do happen but don’t you think that as a public figure of major interest, it is their duty to live responsibly and lead a good example?

    Like you said, it is all still in the rumor stage so let’s wait and see what happens.

    And touche on your opinion about men taking some pills too. I absolutely live for that day!

    Here’s Part II of my unconventional methods of birth control. Enjoy!
    http://alocovivavoce.com/2015/09/16/birth-control-an-unconventional-method-part-ii/

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    1. My dear, when it comes to sex, religion and procreation, we play it by the ear. They really don’t owe people an explanation for having sex or making babies. Yes, it is better to give healthy gap between babies, but these things happen and we don’t really know their story.

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  8. Well written piece, not only on the birth control argument, but on our “need” to involve ourselves in the lives of celebrities. Famous or not, no one needs that kind of scrutiny. And the people doing the scrutinizing might consider the benefit of turning inward and examining their own lives instead…. 😉

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  9. Ao many points here I agree with, in fact on the whole I agree withe everything you said. Firstly, leave celebs alone, cut a slack, draw a line where you become bitchy and obsessive with what they are doing because that’s effecting you and mostly not positively. Secondly, women has suffered always when it comes to family planning like its only their responsibility from getting unplanned pregnant to looking after them. It’s not fair and men need to understand that they are just as much responsible. And its a myth that women don’t reproduce soon enough after a newborn baby, and very much said myth in my culture.
    Very good post, and i can go on and on about it

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  10. I’m with you! Reminded me of a female comedian I saw perform at a cruise and she brought up the same point. Then she started asking men if they had a vasectomy and was promoting it lol!! Loved it!

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  11. Here is another idea to add to your posts, why does society think women should be the only ones caring for children. Men help create them why can’t they help raise them? We seem to be caught in the same mold that we fought generations ago to be rid of. My grandma burned her bra for the right to vote and work as an equal to men. Women were and still are considered property of a man. That is wrong. Just a thought. I don’t see why courts don’t tell men you created them so you get to raise them. I know guys who have to really fight to see their children and then only get weekends when they want the kids more. It is sad.

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    1. I think the women are part of the society and we let ourselves get hoodwinked into 😉 I am not of the school of thought that the woman is good enough to raise the child alone (except where the man is a danger to his family). Otherwise, he must be a party to their upbringing and not just monetarily. Sometimes, I also think that these children become victims of power tussle between the their parents. A case of when two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. It is so wrong and it is telling on the society.

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  14. The issue of birth control is one that should be treated with respect. So many women don’t have access to birth control and therefore lose control of their lives. Bravo to you for standing up and talking about the seriousness of this. Also, bravo for taking a stand against snarykness. It is all too prevalent in our world today.

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  15. If I had the British Royals’ financial resources and love children, I’d have as many children as I want How could anyone think that having a third pregnancy (so soon) is not leading by example? Who made that rule and who died and made those critics in charge of Kate Middleton’s affairs? I am ready to bet that most of those criticizing are women as well. Goes to show you how some of us strongly believe we know better than every other woman and have figured life out so well we can impose our beliefs on others. Well congrats to the couple – if the story turns out to be true. I am sure her doctors will be ready to care for her.

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    1. Bibiana, my dear you are so right. Most of the critics are women and that is what I fail to understand. Could it be out of jealousy that they spout intelligently? She will be fine if the rumor is true (for some reason, I wish it is true 🙂

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  17. You are perfectly correct in noting that people seem to feel they have a right to publicly voice their opinions on anything and everything. There seems to be no boundary lines and the resultant loss of privacy is sacrificed on the altar of our right to know segueing into our “right” to intrude. We need to return to what my elders use to say to children in the “old days” when I was young: “Mind your own business!”

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