Don’t get me wrong, I am most certainly grateful about the gift of my life. I am happy to see each light of the day and to know that I have been blessed with another lovely opportunity to be in the land of the living.
Yet, there are days I wake up to how old I am, and I wonder how time ran so fast. Sometimes, I feel like I am still at the cusp of starting life ‘cos life begins after your 40’s after all, but my creaking joints tell the real truth of the matter and seeing obituaries of people you grew up with or once knew makes you realize that from the moment you were born, every day takes you closer to the grave.
I hate to sound morbid, but the fact is that none of us will get out of here alive, even the vampires had to die to continue to live in the dark. It’s just that my senses have become heightened to the fact that we don’t have all the time in the world especially since one of the persons I love most in the world has been diagnosed with Cancer.
I wonder how it is possible to feel numb and hypersensitive at the same time? I wonder why I feel as though all the past years of my life were lived with eyes half open and simply trying to tick the right boxes.
The human experience is common to us all and yet unique in our individual experiences. I may never be able to rewind the clock of the past and relive things with eyes fully open, but it has dawned on me that living intentionally and purposefully takes more than having a to-do list that is completed at the end of the day. Time to realign.
a cooking pot and twisted tales 
Ah Jacqueline,
So sorry to hear of your dear friend’s cancer diagnosis which from personal experience is a whammy.
I can identify with your whole post content.
More recently I have been reflecting on my health visiting career spanning 30 years in which we were responsible for provision of preventive health and support to families of children aged 0-5 years.
I noticed how gradually the service had become a target driven, tick box affair which it seemed the newer members were more accommodating than I was.
A lot of our role comprised helping some families ‘join the dots’ when at times they were inundated by other tick box services.
Maybe I will do a blog post at some stage in relation to this.
I realise aged 69 yrs I could be susceptible to being on the receiving end of such a process.
As I type this I realise, like my wise late Irish mother did I will continue to be guided by my doctor who holds a full picture.
Thank you Jacqueline for allowing me that reflection.
I do hope your friend receives competent, empathic and holistic care. Do take care of you in the process although not easy.
🙏❤️
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Thank you so much Margaret for your kind comment. Yes, I totally agree with you that most services end up becoming more like a tick the box and move along for government service providers, which is such a shame really.
We are hopeful that things will work out well in her favour and we will have better days ahead. Regards.
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Yes Jacqueline, here’s looking at better days ahead ❤️
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