Blogging · Little rants · Musings · Social critic

Please Correct Me If I Am Wrong, But I Beg To Disagree!…a little rant.

jacquelineobyikocha

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Maybe I am wrong to rant, but allow me to stew a bit in some of my righteous indignation juices 😉

I came across a post with regards to blogging etiquette and best practices and I would like to holler a bit.

A blogger friend had to start extra blogs based on another bloggers advise to break down her current blog into different blogs, because they deemed it that her articles on devotion do not fit in with articles concerning her mental health and I am like what?

In essence, the advise is that for a mental health blog, all that is expected of the blog are issues about the person’s mental health and depression. How depressing is that? Is that all that her life is about?

Who decides these things and makes these rules? I feel that humans who tend to make this suggestion have issues with other peoples happiness and therefore decides that a person who has mental ill health has no business praying :/

I am still struggling to grasp and understand so maybe someone will educate my poor mind a bit more.

The ‘so-called blog experts’ say that your blog must be themed to be deemed worthwhile and to get like-minded followers. I don’t need only like-mindedness. I love variety and its that simple.

It’s all a matter of choice, or isn’t it? My blog, my rules 😉

To me, it sounds a bit as if she is being asked to break herself into compartments *the blog represents* her to me.

Some of us write not necessarily to score points and what not, but because we find healing in our hearts by doing so. We write because we hope that our words will encourage someone else out there, even if it is just one person.

Why do we like to put ourselves in manacles and strictures? Actively managing one blog can be hectic not to talk of two or three.

Some of us just want to share our mundane conundrums without having some persnickety human, pointing fingers at where you should fit in x or y and souring the juice of fun in the blog.

Very soon, they would want us all to turn into little wound up robots, all saying the same thing and fitting into one tiny box.

Typically, I dislike stereotyping and labeling.  I see it as being narrow-minded, when we assume just a little too much.

If someone who has mental health issues or any other issues for that matter, cannot have a category in his/her blog where he/she connects with his/her intrinsic self, as well as show her readers her self-help survival tips through her devotionals, just how dry do you want the blog to be?

What if a reader is not inclined to follow all the other blogs they have started because they like the original one-stop shop of a blog? Then I suppose they should just be contented in losing their readers.

Mental ill-health or any ill-health is not who the individual is, but a condition that he/she has.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

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Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

188 thoughts on “Please Correct Me If I Am Wrong, But I Beg To Disagree!…a little rant.”

      1. I agree 100 percent. My blog posts fall into several different categories. One area where Jason gets it right on A Opinionated Man is that he is very good at organizing and archiving posts that fall under different categories. I think what he does serves the same purpose as running separate blogs.

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  2. Completely agree Jacqueline! My blog is about my first time writing for others to read aka New2Writing and I do have alot on there that is fully related to that such as Short Fiction, tips and tricks on writing etc, but I also do book reviews, the daily prompt regularly (which is often based on personal experience, and I even have a section called Random for stuff that just doesn’t fit anywhere else but that I wanted to share. People are unique because of the combinations they are made up of not defined by one thing. Long Live Variety, afterall it is supposed to be the spice of life! ❤ KL

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  3. I know what you mean in a sense. Last semester I took a course on blogging and my prof went on and on about how important it was to have a good niche and to stick to it and be original, and that really bugged me because I was only a few months into my own blog and was happily niche-less. That was my plan when I started my blog because I wanted to write about movies and also write about some funny think that happened to me and also review some product and have it all in one awesome place.
    These blogging experts are more than welcome to share what worked for them but a lot of their success may be luck and they’re in no position to tell other people what to do, especially when most of the blogosphere are probably here just for fun, as they just like to write. It’s frustrating in a sense because blogging is still technically a new concept and career and with social media, the idea of success is measured differently, so there are unqualified people claiming to be ‘experts’. We just gotta ignore that and write what we want where we want.

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    1. Donovan, in the early days, it gave me sleepless thoughts because I knew from the onset that my blog would probably be like my life and I didn’t just know how I was going to get it to fit into anybody’s niche, but after a while, I realized my blogging is first and foremost about me and I relaxed. Like you said, we just gotta ignore all that expertism and write what we want and where we want. Thank you 🙂

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  5. 👏👏👏YOU GO GIRL! My Blog, My Rules!!!! Yes, exactly. One issue dealt with does not make the entire person, talk about the issue if you like, deal with the issue if you like which you of course should, don’t wallow in the issue deal with it! Sounds like she’s doing that. Why would anyone, ANYONE, deprive a person of good mental health? Truly it’s all spiritual to begin with. Who better to call on But God, our Father? No One better. He created her. The enemy distorted God’s reality. He, God, is the Only One who can bring proper healing. Rant on! Stand with her. Support her. Encourage her. See her whole…But God!
    Jennie (Mt. 6:33)

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    1. Thank you Patrick. We need these little varieties so that life will not get a little too boring. I would expire very fast if I had to box myself in because the voices in my head won’t even let me to do that 😉

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  8. I am all over the place with my blog. But you know what? It’s MY blog! I also believe that if I talk about getting out of debt everyday, the message becomes boring and redundant, therefore, I write what I choose. Great rant! 😀

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    1. Yes indeed. How boring would it be to harp on one song year in and year out? It would get old and redundant very fast like you said which is why I like reading such organic blogs like yours that are not restrictive. Thanks Madison for reading my rant 😉

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  9. I completely agree! My blog started put as a healthy blog but has morphed into incorporating other interests of mine as well. I am even thinking about starting a photography section within my current blog. That’s what I have come to like about this blogging, that there are no rules, we can be human. When I want to turn into a robot and not be myself, I’ll go to work! I am forced to do that Monday thru Friday as it is! Do what you love, everyone, you will find your success within.

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    1. Exactly. It’s an evolving phenomenon that simply nurtures so many intrinsic parts of you that were latent and thus no one should make it their business to curb another person’s creative juices. I look forward to seeing your photos 🙂

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  10. I agree with you completely. No one should be telling you what you should and shouldn’t blog about. Especially when it comes to matters of mental health and life improvement. Some people can’t help themselves, though and have to hand out advice even when it’s not needed!

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    1. Meg, I think they should consider keeping their good ideas for their own use. Some people are having a hard time already with their health challenges and they are simply striving to improve their situations, therefore, what they require is support and not negativity. Thank you so much Meg for your words.

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  11. Agreed. I don’t think you have to have carefully curated blogs. I write because I want to write, and that’s pretty much it. I write just about anything that comes up under the sun, because you’re right, this blog is me. 😊

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  12. A blog, like life, cannot be categorized, themed or limited. We are so much more than the sum of our illnesses, attitudes, likes and dislikes. The best blogs, to me, are the ones that come organically. That cannot be taught, scripted or played “by the rules”.

    Blog on, Jacqueline, there are no experts. ☺

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  13. I guess if you’re trying to make blogging your primary source of income this MAY make sense, although I still disagree with it. People SHOULD let their own unique perspective shine through their blog — that IS why we read them, am I right?

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  14. Even I’ve heard this advice that your blog should stick to a particular theme. I have found it extremely difficult and I had to edit my tagline because my previous one said ‘everything’.

    I like variety too. Just because I write poetry, does not mean I am not interested in gardening. The blogosphere is part of life and I think that you need to be allowed to expand beyond your supposed ‘theme’. I guess this is where ‘categories’ become useful.

    If you can specify what you are going to write (For instance my tagline says global issues, inspiration and poetry.) I guess it is fine. It would be completely useless and time consuming if I open 3 different blogs. I could even write on gardening and I think it would be fine.

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  15. I agree with you whole heartedly. We are multi dimensional people and I think our blogs should reflect that. Especially with the case you mentioned – readers with the same problems might find it helpful to read where she find solace and comfort.

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  16. I agree with you Jacqui. My blog is mainly a humour one, but I too suffer with mental health problems. I try not to write about them all the time, but they do creep in there. I also like to involve myself in different challenges, so do not want to be so tightly confined. I used to worry that I didn’t fit into a ‘niche’ but then realised that I have a lot more scope to write what I want! Like you said, ‘my blog, my rules!’

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    1. Judy, I am completely nicheless like you, it bothered me a bit at the onset but I had to shove it aside and you know what, that is just fine. I love blogs like yours that shows the human spirit, blood and soul. Bah! Humbug to the niche-carving experts 😉

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  19. I agree. I find blogs more compelling if they show the whole a person. Sometimes the silly thing that happened at dinner, sometimes a thoughtful essay on some social issue, sometimes about whatever. They point is – the whole person is there – not just some aspect of them. It feels like they are real then.

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  20. It seems that people feel more comfortable if they can put other people in boxes, clearly marked: “mental health issues”. Same with blogs. But that is THEIR problem, THEIR insecurity non? Personally, I prefer to read real blogs written by real people, with various different issues, people who do not fit into society’s designated boxes. Much more interesting. Much more realistic. Unless she is trying to sell something – then I suppose she’ll have to stick to the ‘rules’.

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    1. Margareth, it truly is their problem and insecurity. I love blogs that have the feel of humanity flowing through it. Of course I respect specific blogs like authors blogs, photo blogs, food etc which deals with specific subjects *for instance if I publish my books, I may have a blog dedicated solely for that* however, I shall stick to my pot-pourri flavoured kind of blog. It makes me happy. Thank you Margaretha.

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  21. A veritable chorus of us singing this morning Jackie in favor of MY Blog My Rules. I started my website just a year ago and I find it has provided me an opportunity to give myself ever growing to full throttle permission to explore my creativity in a way I have not done in years. And as the journey goes, so goes the Website.

    I once received totally unsolicited advice from a gentlemen who having wrote a very lengthy negative and enumerated 1-10.. of how awful the map counters in my website margin are. Made no mention of any content on my site. I responded gently but clearly of the enjoyment and information I received from the maps. He responded with an even longer harder sell on how awful my maps were. I did not respond and I have never seen or heard from him since.

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    1. JoHanna, there are simply some miserable humans who like to burst other people’s bubbles, but I am so glad that I have met a lot of people like you who are comfortable in their own skins to ignore such errant nonsense. I quite understand some blogs that are based only on one theme but that is the bloggers choice. Thank you for your detailed comment. I like how you put the uppity gentleman in his place.

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  22. You dey mind dem( speaking in pidgin) oversabi people dem be. Everyone can do their blog as they feel. I should be able to write about what I feel without fear or prejudice. Variety is the spice of life , imagine the platform where everyone write the same thing… dry and uninteresting. I support the motion, My blog,my rules!

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  23. You are right and I sure hope your friend reads this post. She can do whatever she finds on her heart to do on her own blog. Matter of fact, I think her having devotionals on her mental health blog is a good idea. Who wants to only read about the gloomy?

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  24. So true! “Some of us write not necessarily to score points and what not, but because we find healing in our hearts by doing so” -> I agree! Some people just feel like everything is a competetion, and you always need to perform efficiently 24/7. For me, this is just a relaxing hobby and I love it. It would be horrible to get feedback like that! Especially when it’s so unnecessary. Like you said, diversity is also a plus in my mind. And “success” can be so many things to different people. I don’t get why someone would go around giving other people that kind of “advice”. Hmm. Let’s all just be nice to each other! 🙂

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  25. Well sounds like the advice read training…I am reading on with my other studies toward make some money with ablog. OK rank in Google yeah be topical. Specific audience sell to or etc. HERE on our community be yourself…do Your thing…they can move on lots more to read shessh! Hope to cover this whole idea later date After all i m cthisnthat!!!!!

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  26. Jacqueline, you made a whole blog post out of this.
    My blog is a reflection of myself not of what others think my blog should be. If my character is of multiple hues, surely my blog will reflect that. I am often told by blogging experts or rather asked “what my theme is ” and honestly I don’t have any. I write for practice, to rant, to talk to someone, to share my sorrows and so much more. How can I have a blog for each of these needs ?
    But on the other hand, I guess bloggers who might want to monetise their blogs might need their blogs to be on a particular topic – like cooking or lifestyle or something else.
    Well, to each his own is all I can say.
    Susie

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    1. My question exactly Susie. How can I have a blog for each of my thoughts? It bothered me a bit to see such feedback on a blog where someone is striving to improve their health issues. I quite understand blogs that are set up to be monetized and that is perfectly fine. I may one day wake up and decide to have other blogs like an authors blog for instance, then I know that the purpose of that blog is for my books etc and at that point in time, it is my decision and not because someone feels that I should fit into a niche that they have carved in their mind. Thank you for your supportive words Susie 🙂

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  27. Blogging is writing and writing is art. Art cannot be defined by narrow values or rules. It is different for everyone and good in every form it comes in to different people. Your friend should be able to write a blog and have several topics. I do that, you do that, many people do that. I like variety as they say it’s the spice of life.

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  28. Your “rants” and the comment threads are among my favorite posts in the blogosphere. The beauty of blogging is individuals expressing themselves – and most do so quite fearlessly. Facts and opinions like everything else are subjective. ❤

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  29. This right here! Yes indeed! You have voiced certainly my opinion into the blog-o-sphere! Blogging experts say she should break herself apart. Absolutely not. Who are they to say that she won’t qualify and make it?
    Anyway, a well-received rant might I add! It’s honestly an inspiring post to all the small-time bloggers out there! 🙂
    Jacqueline, you just might be the Grandmother Willow of WordPress… 😉

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  30. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said, “My blog, my rules.” It all depends on why you’re blogging and what you want the outcome to be. If you blog as a form of therapy, to get it all out, it doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it. It’s for YOU. If your intent is to reach an audience, increase traffic, and gain notoriety, then, sticking with a niche is pretty important. However, “blog rules” are only meant to be followed if that’s your aim. I think the only rule everyone should follow is carefully editing for grammar and spelling mistakes! That’s my biggest pet peeve-massive mistakes that take away from the message.

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  31. For a blogger to advise someone else how to run their blog is arrogant & stupid. The blog’s author needs to determine what they post. For many, this is a healing process. I follow several blogs about anxiety, surviving divorce, and mental health issues. I have tried to encourage them to use the blog not only to help themselves but others in their situation. One person started writing poetry. Another is considering writing some comedic posts. No one should tell, another how to administrate their blog. As fellow bloggers, we should encourage and support. Thanks for posting this. Sorry, for my rant. I always try to stay positive.

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    1. Your rant gladdened my heart. Like you rightly pointed out, for a lot of people myself included, the blogging journey is a journey to healing and should not be hampered by any arrogant nonsense. I truly felt bad for her when I read her little post that based on advise, she is starting two extra blogs to write devotionals and other things that she talks about. I felt that was just wrong and what she needed is encouragement and support. It takes a lot of guts for someone to put themselves out there to talk about their personal challenges. Thank you so much for your wise comments. They are truly appreciated.

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  33. If so and so wants a say what’s on my blog, then they can put up or shut up. I pay for my blog and it covers what I feel like talking about. Lately it’s been my daughter. I’m branching out with some religion…wait until I start with my disdain about being PC…I would welcome someone to “advise” me like this “blogging expert” did in doling out perceived rules. The fireworks would truly be an awesome thing to behold at that point. I hope the person who received the original advice told the blog-nazi where their advice could go. (sorry…normally nicer in comments)

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  34. Wow,couldn’t agree with you more! I feel like that the “rule makers” are stereotyping also. My blog is new, I’m mentally ill, among many other things. It doesn’t define me or my blog. I want followers if they enjoy what I write. My blog is also done from my cell on an app. This has no spelling or grammar check and I can’t add certain recommend (by a rule maker I’m sure) things to make my blog better. This made me not make “rule makers” list I’m sure! Lol….my point is why put our blogs essentially us in a box? I appreciate all tips and suggestions buy pleasssssee! I agree with your rant and there was mine.
    Totally enjoy your blog!

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    1. Nana my dear, thank you for sharing your insight and one’s mental health is definitely not a definition of who they are. Who cares about rule makers. I am a rule breaker and would be glad to share any tips that I have out there. My regards.

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  35. Pingback: A rant about blogging policies! | nananettie1969

  36. A blog can be whatever you want it to be and at the end of the day, it’s for the blogger and no one else. I too have a “mental health” blog and often post stuff about other subjects, including religion and spirituality, and not once has anyone “suggested” that stuff doesn’t belong on my blog.

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  37. Blogging experts??? Our blog, our categories and we set the rules. If they want to pay us to be robotic; they better come up with a 6figure salary. I always said, if you want me to act, you’re gonna have to pay me. Good for you dear! Continued blessings, Emma

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  41. My blog doesn’t really have a theme. It’s only just started so too early for me to say whether that will hinder it or not. But I wouldn’t be happy writing about one particular theme.. and I write because it makes me happy. I would love it to be my full time income but I wouldn’t compromise my writing to get there.

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  43. Sounds to me like this expert is an expert in his own mind. I have not met a blogger that follows a set type of blog. For me part of the fun is meeting a variety of people with different tastes,beliefs and writing styles.

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  47. I completely agree. Who has a friend who only talks about one subject. I am drawn to friends with similar interests, but if my friend only talked about mental health, how limiting that would be! And yes, prayer is certainly one of many ways to cope with mental health challenges.

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    1. JoAnna, I would be bored silly if I had a friend who only nattered about dirty laundry and clogged kitchen sink. Variety makes things more colourful and spin around and I honestly cannot fathom my life without prayers. I would be half alive. Thank you very much for your words today and do have a lovely weekend.

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  48. Just remember, everyone has their own opinion, and blogs are where your friend will hear from “everyone”, however, your friend does not “have” to do what anyone tells her she should do. Tell your friend to stick with what she wants to do and to invite those who do not like her blog to read somebody else’s blogs. No one can “make” her change her style of blogging.

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  49. Wow I have so many things to say but Yay comes to my mind! I sorta wish all the advise would just go away and let us be, mushing it together or leaving it blank and boring! LOL Kidding! I just love that you wrote! You have a beautiful sense of humor and I love your writing! Happy evening to you! 😀

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  50. Oh no she din’t!!!! Her blog, her choice what she chooses to write about and when, As long as all posts are categorized, her readers looking for a specific subject will be able to find all of her posts based on that category. I bet the person her gave her that crappy advice doesn’t have a blog.

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      1. Amen on things that just make you shake your head. Hehehehe, I love that so many bloggers responded to you. It actually makes me less concerned about writing to an audience than writing for myself.

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      2. I love this community for their tremendous support. I actually used to think that everyone seemed so organised in their niches and I tell you Barb, it is nice to know that I have loads of niche-less friends 🙂

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