Musings

Undeserving Grace…

Abundance Grace, Quote, Life, Poetry

Each day I affirm to myself,

that I’ve been given a life of abundant grace.

I got tired and choose to stop hiding under a bushel of abuse and shame,

I got weary of bearing pain, self-doubt, dejection;

depression and all the thousand emotions that have no name.

He told me that my life is a treasure,

that I’m called by name and a gift to my generation.

He said to me;

Arise and shine for a lighthouse has no choice but to shine its light

and to quit living under the heavy millstone.

He untied the binding tentacles of the quagmire enmeshing me

and made me know that my life has a purpose.

He said, daughter, you have been released

For I came to set the captives free.

©

Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

 

Personal story · This Is My Life

I Am Still Standing…personal story.

Wisdom chose to come to me through my journey. I didn’t come by wisdom per chance. We all have our individual messages in our stories and each day, it unfolds itself for those who choose to see.1453177669459[1]

What gives me the reason to believe at the end of the day is so simple ‘that my life has a purpose.’

My Faith is not magic, but a conscious choice to trust God even when I am confused, depressed and cannot make sense of it all.

A lot of times, I have faced adversities, but I always ask myself? What do I turn to in these difficult times? What should I do, when it seems like everything is threatening to cave in?

I simply stand in prayer and walk through the pain. I cry through the pain and this is where my strength comes from. It is not that by persevering I don’t ever doubt or feel exhausted. I do feel all these things, but what I know for sure and from my experience is that there is no strength without adversities and sometimes a lot of pain as well.

Those painful experiences that chase to break you, often times builds your courage and determination if only you persevere.

It’s Gods mercy that kept me through these adversities that would have kept me under or had me turn to negative alternative means to get through them.

It’s Gods mercy that sustained me from dying at the hands of molesters who nearly strangled me.

It was God’s mercy that preserved my life through a fatal road accident that took the life of another.

It’s God’s mercy that rescued me from the Snare of the Fowler in the name of armed robbers, not once but thrice in Lagos.

It’s God’s mercy that kept my mind sane through series of miscarriages and a still birth of my child.

I kept it all in. I pretended to be okay. I trudged on. I smiled, but I bled inside and I wore a brave face outside.

Some of these stories I hesitate to share in depth because I don’t seek for pity and it is difficult to talk through them.

There are days that I look back and wonder. There are days that anger or depression wants to light up inside me for some of these things, but I refuse to go down that rabbits hole. I stand.

Each day Grace meets me and tells me that it’s okay.

Each day Hope tells me not to give up.

Each day my Faith says ‘do not despair’ ‘That what is in front is greater than the one behind.’

Some have asked me before, how I can believe, how I can trust and have faith in a God who allows certain things to happen to some people?

My answer to them is ‘how can I not, when I am a living testimony of Grace and Mercy.’ Know this and know it well, the enemy will always attack us through any means possible, which is why he is called The Enemy. What matters is how we walk through that fire.

Each day at the end of it all, I know that without Faith, Mercy, Hope, Grace, Favour, Trust and Redemption, the story of my life’s journey might have ended long before now.

There is an undefinable reason why it’s called Amazing Grace and each day, I hold out my cup for a portion of grace which is sufficient unto my day.

It’s called amazing grace because through the wounds and the hurt, through the broken spirit and the flayed mind, I am here and I am still standing.

© Jacqueline Oby-Ikocha

The Daily Post Reason To Believe.

In Reason to Believe, Bruce Springsteen sings, “At the end of every hard-earned day / people find some reason to believe.” What’s your reason to believe?