Just A Thought

Just A Thought…

jacquelineobyikocha

Image result for cartoon image of black woman in scarf

So the World celebrated The International Women’s Day yesterday – which is a good thing, don’t get me wrong – but, what happens today?

Do we go back to the shadows where women are beaten, downtrodden, objectified, maligned et cetera, et cetera?

Yesterday, this thought played in my mind all day.

The thought played in my mind that right as we speak, there’s a woman somewhere being raped, pummelled into the ground from manly fists, railroaded into sexual slavery and all unsavoury thoughts you can think of.

I am tired of societies false platitudes and putting band-aids on sore wounds.

We as a people must continue to raise strong women. Women who rise above adversity to say no. Women who call bullshit what it is.  Women who know themselves and love themselves. Women who would make a difference to their progeny and generations to come…

This is not about 1 day. It’s about a lifetime!

I am every woman. A survivor by many miles. I don’t need a day to tell me who I am ‘cos I already know who I am.

My question is, does society truly care to know?

Jacqueline

Published by jacquelineobyikocha

A wordsmith with a vivid imagination, an eager mind and a burning desire to carve out tales. As I journey with my muse to that land of all possibilities and self discovery, I hope my personal evolution will serve as a beacon of inspiration for anyone who chooses to stop by.

58 thoughts on “Just A Thought…”

  1. The protests of things I find embarrassing actually. The “day” I spent doing what I do to have healthier lifestyles and food on table. People need treat people right. Seems too many worldwide want to mistreat others. ….just my two cents worth

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  2. I think with young ladies like Malala Yousafzai raising their voices. Women and girls worldwide will have greater opportunities. Michelle Obama used her position and platform as First Lady of the USA to advocate for Women and Girls.

    Even in my little corner of the world I speak up because sexism and sexual harassment runs rampant on my job. I do encourage the women on my job to report but many are afraid of losing their jobs. I must admit that my transfer to another building was partially due to a sexual threat from a male co-worker.

    I finally had it and decided it was better to leave rather than keep fighting. Unfortunately in male dominated fields like mine (security) women are faced with tough choices and very little back-up. For those wondering No neither Human Resources nor the Union backs up women being sexually harassed on the job. Those laws are just on the books for show and not enforced.

    My decision to leave was based mostly on personal safety. But it is everywhere. When I was in the US Army I went through even worse. I just don’t talk about my experience and I’m not gonna get into details. And I would say that it was unavoidable back in the late 1970s and it is still unavoidable today. Probably much of what happened in my past is responsible for many of the emotional and psychological challenges I have today. You can’t run away from the past no matter how hard you try.

    Hopefully that will change for future generations but it does not look that way. Wish I could be more positive.

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    1. These issues aren’t going to go away and with the breed of leaders we are getting nowadays, I am afraid that redemption is still far…but we have to individually teach our daughters to stand their ground, use their voice and not their body, use their God-given intelligence. I equally had several bad experiences that opened my eye’s to how it really is… it may not be in my time, but change will come.

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  3. That was my thinking also. In addition it is not just the jackass leadership but even before Orange hair & crew the media and society. On TV, Internet, magazines and movies girls are presented with airheads and bimbos. The Real Wives this and crazy so-called reality shows with certain K-sisters who only became famous because of a sex tape and make their money based on the looks alone. And of yes tricking rich wealthy men into marrying them. Sadly I see an entire generation of superficial girls growing into shallow women. Okay maybe not all but if society and media tells girls their worth is based on their bodies, being good looking and being sexually pleasing to men I think that we are going backwards instead of forwards. However parents, schools and Houses of Worship can turn things around. It’s not too late. Just my two cents.

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  4. I for the first time in mylife embraced yesterday. I reasonate with your post. I think yesterday is an awareness day that things are way from perfect. That much still needs to be done. It is a celebration we come far..but clearly more needs to happen.. for me yesterday was saying to myself i need to more with mylife and aspire more. And life us no one day wonder it is everyday counts thing.

    As for all tge ugly things that happen in this mordern day to women… well the whole of soceity is messed up in every sense that it is hard. If we all behaved and thought of harmony first in every interaction and respect anothers right to live well then may be…just may be…

    Some women are cruel to women and men..we know the opposite is true. Society as a whole needs to change. That can only happen when we operate from oneness and respect..not greed and oppression… and it is sad ,so sad ,so sad ..soceity is getting worse not better..

    Sorry way to long comment..

    I believe if we change as individuals may be we can influence soceity..but soceity wants to be blind at times tooo…. so sad

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    1. I agree with ThoughtsNLife. Society has lost it’s damn mind!! Yes Women can be cruel to other women. I had a woman supervisor who bullied me so badly that I wound up in the E.R. and had to spend several days home. She didn’t think her actions were wrong. Some females are so concerned with boobs and bootys their common sense went on strike a long time ago. As the previous commenter said the entire society along with its lack of values and morals needs to change.

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      1. Oh my goodness i am sorry to hear that. I agree some women oppress and others as you say are so body conscious there is nothing else.no grey matter between the ears and that makes other women suffer indirectly/directly? I shared a video on Oprah yesterday as my contribution to womens day. She spoke of her grandmothers hopes..to have some good white folk…. can u imagine! I find how oprah came from that inspiring so inspiring… at same time i find it sad when women have opportunities and only care body beautiful..what a waste. And sad for us others who want to do more. And people gotta wake you get old ..and karma does exist…so do goid meaningful karma…. rant over..

        Nice chatting. Regards bella

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      1. It is happening everyday… dare to stand up, dare to live with values, it happens in the everyday…and plain ordinary people treat others badly….

        But we keep trying to influence for the better that one day soceity awakes. Never give up… good will eventually prevail… though it seems away away…

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  5. Maybe the more people that see Women’s Day every year, the more men see women as their equal. Perhaps the more that see it recognise the difficulties that women face, being beaten , raped or inequality in the work place, and do something to put a stop to it.
    It may be slow but it’s happening bit by bit in most places. In other places the Governments need to do a lot more to change what is accepted as a culture.
    I hope things speed up a bit and allow women the place they deserve without fear.
    xxx Huge Hugs Jacqueline xxx

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    1. David those are all excellent points. However even in America where there are laws on the books that are supposed to protect women in the home and in the workplace those laws are not enforced. It is no good to have laws without teeth. Right now males know that they can break the law without being punished. Just think about all those Orders of Protection. That does not stop the abuser or stalker. They can and will kill or maim you anyway. Society must change its attitude about women in the most basic level and that includes other women as another commenter previously stated because many times women perpetrate violence upon other women. I’ve been abused by both genders.

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  6. When I was growing up my brother and I had something called “Home Training.” We were taught how to act, behave and how to treat other people. We were also taught respect for our elders in the community and for our ministers. Both my mother and father sat me down to teach me Black History which was not taught in school when I was young. They took us places so our learning took place not just in school. I was sent to Sunday School as a child even though my parents were not especially religious. Not only did my parents have a say in my upbringing but so did my Aunts and my Grandmother!! Truly in the 1960s and early 70s the Village did raise the child!!

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    1. The reverse is the case with upbringing nowadays and it’s a sad shame. I do wish sometimes that we could retain some values of time past like when raising respectful and upstanding children was pretty important.

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  9. “To call woman the weaker sex is a libel; it is man’s injustice to woman. If by strength is meant brute strength, then, indeed, is woman less brute than man. If by strength is meant moral power, then woman is immeasurably man’s superior. Has she not greater intuition, is she not more self-sacrificing, has she not greater powers of endurance, has she not greater courage? Without her, man could not be. If nonviolence is the law of our being, the future is with woman. Who can make a more effective appeal to the heart than woman?”
    – Mahatma Gandhi

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  11. Totally agree with you Jackie. It is not a one day affair. Women’s rights are everyday issues that we must keep attending to. We should keep blowing the whistle and keep the dialog going. And we should act to protect a battered woman where necessary. Our government should be serious about enforcing laws that protect women and not just commensurate with us on international days! Well said sis

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  12. Jacqueline, your thoughts led my thoughts to this old song that maybe needs to be resurrected:
    I Am Woman
    Helen Reddy
    I am woman, hear me roar
    In numbers too big to ignore
    And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
    ‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
    And I’ve been down there on the floor
    No one’s ever gonna keep me down again
    Oh yes, I am wise
    But it’s wisdom born of pain
    Yes, I’ve paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to, I can do anything
    I am strong
    (Strong)
    I am invincible
    (Invincible)
    I am woman
    You can bend but never break me
    ‘Cause it only serves to make me
    More determined to achieve my final goal
    And I come back even stronger
    Not a novice any longer
    ‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

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  13. I hear you ROAR Jacky!! I hear you ROAR women! I’m very passionate about this ladies…makes me cry!! I’ve never been abused in any way, never been physically offended but I’m not going to be silent or pretend that I don’t see my sister’s struggling. We that have a voice should raise it for those that don’t have.

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  15. Since reading some of the climate change documents and seeing a graphic in one of those relating to 2040 population control, (and having skimmed a text called ‘Preparing for the 21st Century’), all this 50:50 and certain phrasing is a much bigger concern as a human who happens to have been born female. This wheel spins like all political hype and media driven steamroller. Sometimes we don’t see it happening until it smacks us between the eyes. I’d enjoy and appreciate an ‘International Human’s Day’ MUCH better and cannot stand equality campaigns founded on what appears to be blatant gender-discrimination. i am every human. No way I’d wanna say ‘i am every woman’ – some aspects of equality campaigning are more disgraceful and sickening than the sexism, racism, violence and violations that such campaigns pertain to resolve. That’s just my tuppence-worth, above my station and just white trash to public service FEMALE workers – you don’t get that attitude from male workers in UK but women with 50:50 levelling the playing fields the way they’ve been demonstrating capabilities these last four decades is absolutely terrifying! I won’t be popular for saying so though because too many girls make it to the ‘professional field’ have been brought up as spiteful, selfish, spoilt brats who just know how to make it look good enough on paper and carry forward the falsehoods and they need this ‘equality’ shit to work. Looks as if we’re heading for Space1999 when you see, hear and read some of these things in news.

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  16. Sorry Jacquie, i forgot to say anything about any of those points you made so well that I absolutely am in agreement with! And I really appreciated your point about singling out one day of the year to promote women’s human rights… maybe we have an equivalent day for promoting male human rights and we’re just too busy while they might tend to keep quieter for fear of upsetting the ladies.

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  17. You made some great points. I am tired of the false platitudes as well. It is one thing to say or state something, but it is another thing entirely to put some action behind it.

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  18. I was disappointed in how some of the women protesters acted. One doesn’t have to yell and use profanity to get her points made. Plus after the protests, the premises were trashed. How does that make us look?

    There shouldn’t be just one day set aside for women – every day should be women’s day. I was honored by beBee as one their exception women, which made my day and I feel we deserve all the appreciation we can get.

    “I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.” ― Maya Angelou

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    1. I am absolutely not in support of nonsensical protests. Dialogues and peaceful demonstrations can be made to buttress a point without all the smashing of things, yelling and insults. It doesn’t paint a good picture in the least. You are doing so well with promoting BeBee and deserve the appreciation.

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  24. Well put Ms.Jacqueline, this reality of which you speak reminds me of another ‘situation’ that has bothered me for decades. That issue is when Churches/Christians and the media make a big deal twice a year (Thanksgiving and Christmas) where they help at food kitchens. It is a good thing that they do this but my issue is that if the community only gives a damn for two meals a year, how many have starved to death the rest of the year. ‘Feel good Christianity’ is not enough to save our Souls just as caring about the women in our lives one day a year does very little to help save the women of the world the rest of the year, we all must care about the issues and the people around us all of the time, every day, not just once or twice a year.

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    1. Can I hear an Amen. Being a true Christian involves living it every day and being our brothers’ keeper on a daily basis and not something saved for certain days of the year. The issues that surround women are far too humungous to be scheduled for one day in a year!

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  27. Reblogged this on a cooking pot and twisted tales and commented:

    Last year I wrote this and my thoughts haven’t changed much. Apart from the “Me Too” movement, I’m yet to see better strides taken in the direction of ‘women empowerment and safety.’ I’m not advocating for the emasculation of men, but I know that there are many more rivers to cross and we must keep walking not just talking.

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  28. I’m glad you know who you are and stand up for women. While I know there is evil and inequality in this world, some women put themselves in the position of being the victim, simply because they don’t know who they are. They don’t realize their self-worth. They don’t know how wonderful and special they really are because no one has ever told them. We need to teach our daughters to respect themselves and stand up. While this won’t resolve all of the ugly out there, it’s a strong start.

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  29. Women have come a long way but not far enough, IMO. The archaic mindset still exists. Relating to protests, it seems they bring out the worst in some people and those that lead the protests are not a good example for the majority. My two cents.

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I love it when you decorate my heart with your words..